3 ms·

> What made the difference, I think, was that I stopped caring so much about living up to my potential and started caring more about being a part of important t

by DenisM 14y ago

> What made the difference, I think, was that I stopped caring so much about living up to my potential and started caring more about being a part of important things. Basically all of those world-changing projects that you see in the news are team efforts, which many people contribute to. Any advice on how to overcome the lone wolf attitude? I read your prior comments on this thread and found them very insightful, but I also figure a more pointed question could get me a more pointed answer. It feels like I'm almost there, but not quite...

nostrademons 14y ago
It's pretty hard, actually, and I'm not all the way there yet. Much harder than learning the technical skills to actually become great, and I think I know more programmers that're held back by inability to work on teams than by lack of programming skill. Largely, it's about taking a leap of faith and trusting that you can still do great things even when they're not solely your great things. Who are you more likely to have heard of, Paul Buchheit (one of many who worked on GMail) or Fredrik Lundh (sole developer of PIL)? Tim Berners-Lee (one of many who developed the web) or Daniel Veillard (almost sole developer of libxml)? It can also help to just think of it as an experiment - "Okay, I am reasonably financially secure for now, what happens if I stop caring so much about glory and start looking at the world around me? Will I become a complete slacker and end up doing nothing, or will I end up becoming even more successful?" And then just try it - you have relatively little to lose, after all - and see what the results are. It's also quite possible that for some people, giving up their ambition really does leave them with nothing and they sit around and play video games all day, and those people should probably stick with their hunt for glory. For me, though, I found that when I cared less about how successful I could be, I started becoming curious about what else was going on around me, and that gave me more information for better decisions, and that made me more successful anyway.
- DenisM 14y ago
  I don't think that helps me... :) It's not about ego for me, at least I like to think it's not. I have a persistent worry that other people will screw up my great ideas, and I will spend more effort convincing them of superiority of my ingenious designs than I will ever get back. The anxiety is mostly unfounded, but it's there nonetheless. I suppose I am far too deeply convinced that my ideas are best ever. :)
  - nostrademons 14y ago
    Sounds like ego to me. ;-) Well, for that, it's probably worth remembering a finding from psychology: everybody likes their own ideas better than someone else's, simply because they're their own. And it takes a particular kind of skill to recognize the good in other people's ideas, and it's really that skill that's what makes you good at working in teams. Some of my managers have been really good at that, and they've been responsible for some great things as a result. It also helps to rigorously test your ideas against the outside world - for me, it was the experience of doing (and failing at) the startup, over and over again, that taught me that maybe my ideas weren't so hot. In practice, there're usually lots of good ways to do something; it's often easier just to go with whatever someone else proposes simply so you can make forward progress.

by DenisM 14y ago

nostrademons 14y ago

It's pretty hard, actually, and I'm not all the way there yet. Much harder than learning the technical skills to actually become great, and I think I know more programmers that're held back by inability to work on teams than by lack of programming skill. Largely, it's about taking a leap of faith and trusting that you can still do great things even when they're not solely your great things. Who are you more likely to have heard of, Paul Buchheit (one of many who worked on GMail) or Fredrik Lundh (sole developer of PIL)? Tim Berners-Lee (one of many who developed the web) or Daniel Veillard (almost sole developer of libxml)? It can also help to just think of it as an experiment - "Okay, I am reasonably financially secure for now, what happens if I stop caring so much about glory and start looking at the world around me? Will I become a complete slacker and end up doing nothing, or will I end up becoming even more successful?" And then just try it - you have relatively little to lose, after all - and see what the results are. It's also quite possible that for some people, giving up their ambition really does leave them with nothing and they sit around and play video games all day, and those people should probably stick with their hunt for glory. For me, though, I found that when I cared less about how successful I could be, I started becoming curious about what else was going on around me, and that gave me more information for better decisions, and that made me more successful anyway.

DenisM 14y ago
I don't think that helps me... :) It's not about ego for me, at least I like to think it's not. I have a persistent worry that other people will screw up my great ideas, and I will spend more effort convincing them of superiority of my ingenious designs than I will ever get back. The anxiety is mostly unfounded, but it's there nonetheless. I suppose I am far too deeply convinced that my ideas are best ever. :)
- nostrademons 14y ago
  Sounds like ego to me. ;-) Well, for that, it's probably worth remembering a finding from psychology: everybody likes their own ideas better than someone else's, simply because they're their own. And it takes a particular kind of skill to recognize the good in other people's ideas, and it's really that skill that's what makes you good at working in teams. Some of my managers have been really good at that, and they've been responsible for some great things as a result. It also helps to rigorously test your ideas against the outside world - for me, it was the experience of doing (and failing at) the startup, over and over again, that taught me that maybe my ideas weren't so hot. In practice, there're usually lots of good ways to do something; it's often easier just to go with whatever someone else proposes simply so you can make forward progress.