Obviously I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. I understand what it is you think is true, and anecdotally it sounds about right, but I'm hoping to get past

Obviously I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. I understand what it is you think is true, and anecdotally it sounds about right, but I'm hoping to get past folklore and guesswork to understand what does or does not work for users. I've been surprise, when helping ostensibly non-tech people, the number of times I get asked, "OK, but why" when I try to offer a simplified description of what an app is doing. If something seems to take a long time, and I were to say, "The program needs to connect to Google," I am certain the people I've helped would want to know a bit more. Maybe details about TCP sessions would be too much; the question is, based on actual research, what is the right amount of detail, and how should it be presented? Maybe there is no such research; even knowing that would be helpful.