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"Do what comes naturally" has changed a lot over time. Corporal punishment used to be natural. Today, being on your phone is natural. But as a soon to be paren

by mgfist 2y ago

"Do what comes naturally" has changed a lot over time. Corporal punishment used to be natural. Today, being on your phone is natural. But as a soon to be parent, I see the zombie kids on their ipads in public and there's just no way that's good for them. Which means I'll need to fix my own screen usage. You mentioned the research that correlates large home libraries with success. A related study is that the number of words a child hears in the first 4 years correlates with success. Maybe I'm a fool and it's psuedoscience, but it strikes me as plausible that a child who hears a lot more words will be better equipped for school (and by extension life). It's something I intend to do (by reading to my children, talking to them as I go about the day etc..). I'm not sure it's something I would've thought about too much if I wasn't exposed to the idea. Again, maybe it's rubbish, but my sample size is very small. I don't have 100 kids to test it out on. I don't take research blindly, but I don't think it's stupid to try and learn about ways to parent. And I certainly don't think the right way is what comes naturally to you.

andrewla 2y ago
Old thread, so you probably won't see this reply, but just to close the loop. You're completely right -- most of the stuff you say is 100% on spot. The only thing I'd object to here is that you say "A related study is that ...". Ignore the study! If it seems plausible to you, then that's your intuition, and it's probably solid! I feel the same way, and I've put effort into this as well. Same with the zombie kids and the screen usage. I do feel like I'm fighting a useless battle because I have been unable to significantly affect my own screen usage, but I try to model good behavior and to try to force myself to follow the same advice I give my kids ("accept being bored sometimes"). > Again, maybe it's rubbish, but my sample size is very small. Yes! And this is because you are not taking a "scientific" approach to child raising, which is exactly what I would encourage. Don't put a fig leaf on it and try to cite studies about why it is true or what benefits it provides. Just do it and if people ask say that it seems to make sense to you.

by mgfist 2y ago

andrewla 2y ago

Old thread, so you probably won't see this reply, but just to close the loop. You're completely right -- most of the stuff you say is 100% on spot. The only thing I'd object to here is that you say "A related study is that ...". Ignore the study! If it seems plausible to you, then that's your intuition, and it's probably solid! I feel the same way, and I've put effort into this as well. Same with the zombie kids and the screen usage. I do feel like I'm fighting a useless battle because I have been unable to significantly affect my own screen usage, but I try to model good behavior and to try to force myself to follow the same advice I give my kids ("accept being bored sometimes"). > Again, maybe it's rubbish, but my sample size is very small. Yes! And this is because you are not taking a "scientific" approach to child raising, which is exactly what I would encourage. Don't put a fig leaf on it and try to cite studies about why it is true or what benefits it provides. Just do it and if people ask say that it seems to make sense to you.