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> "You are overcomplicating this" Tbh I don't think the worst problem here is with stating something is overcomplicated but the directness and variously pointe

> "You are overcomplicating this" Tbh I don't think the worst problem here is with stating something is overcomplicated but the directness and variously pointed use of 'you'. People will naturally be more defensive. Many of the example statements involve this use of 'you' in the same fashion. 'Did you even read my email?', 'If you would have read the whole email you’d know the answer to this'. It's a deliberate use of 'you' like an intensifier. With minor rephrasing these could just be expressed more passively, for scenarios where one doesn't want an almost completely euphemistic tone.

SoftTalker 2y ago
Right, just say "I don't think we need that complexity." Explain why (if you can't, ask what you are missing, maybe there is something you don't understand about the requirement). That is straightforward and not phrasing it as a "you" problem.
Stratoscope 2y ago
You nailed it. (Using "you" in a positive way here, of course.) Regarding 'Did you even read my email?', the HN guidelines talk about almost this exact phrase: > Please don't comment on whether someone read an article. "Did you even read the article? It mentions that" can be shortened to "The article mentions that". https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
microtherion 2y ago
The other problem with "You are overcomplicating this" is the underlying confidence of the speaker that they know more about the problem domain than the addressee. Not infrequently, the addressee has engaged with the problem longer and thus is aware of complications that need to be addressed. It's the situation described in the xkcd "Physicists" episode: https://www.xkcd.com/793/ https://www.xkcd.com/793/ My preference is to restate this as a question: "Is there any reason why we can't just do <X>?". Sometimes the response I got was: "Hmm, you're right, that had not occurred to me", sometimes it was "Yes, we need to handle <Y> and <Z>".

SoftTalker 2y ago

Right, just say "I don't think we need that complexity." Explain why (if you can't, ask what you are missing, maybe there is something you don't understand about the requirement). That is straightforward and not phrasing it as a "you" problem.

Stratoscope 2y ago

You nailed it. (Using "you" in a positive way here, of course.) Regarding 'Did you even read my email?', the HN guidelines talk about almost this exact phrase: > Please don't comment on whether someone read an article. "Did you even read the article? It mentions that" can be shortened to "The article mentions that". https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

microtherion 2y ago

The other problem with "You are overcomplicating this" is the underlying confidence of the speaker that they know more about the problem domain than the addressee. Not infrequently, the addressee has engaged with the problem longer and thus is aware of complications that need to be addressed. It's the situation described in the xkcd "Physicists" episode: https://www.xkcd.com/793/ https://www.xkcd.com/793/ My preference is to restate this as a question: "Is there any reason why we can't just do <X>?". Sometimes the response I got was: "Hmm, you're right, that had not occurred to me", sometimes it was "Yes, we need to handle <Y> and <Z>".