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> I didn't quite have the option of falling into some kind of depression and just doing nothing Don't know if this was your intention but this comes across as
by Trollmann 2y ago
> I didn't quite have the option of falling into some kind of depression and just doing nothing
Don't know if this was your intention but this comes across as if having a depression was a choice, which it rarely is with any kind of illness.
- sneak 2y agoNot sure why you’re being downvoted; plenty of new parents let mental illness come between them and their responsibilities to their child/ren. They didn’t have the option of neglecting their kids either; somehow it doesn’t stop them from doing so anyway.
- tasuki 2y agoWikipedia says "Depression is a mental state of low mood and aversion to activity" - that's what I meant. Mental illness is I think a different thing. Depression doesn't imply mental illness, nor does mental illness imply depression. I understand and agree that many people let mental illness come between them and whatever. It's a problem. It's just a different problem.
- s1artibartfast 2y agoYet you used the word "let", which implies agency and choice.
- tasuki 2y agoIt's difficult to say what is a choice and what isn't. Is anything my choice? Perhaps the world is deterministic, so nothing is anyone's choice. But also, I have seen people who seemingly choose to wallow in their grief. Also what is depression? I'm very sad that my partner died. I miss her. Some people have a chemical imbalance in their body. These are entirely different things. Perhaps I shouldn't have used that word, which has so many different meanings as to lose meaning altogether. When you have a kid and don't want to get out of bed the whole day, eventually the kid is hungry enough to start screaming, and it will keep screaming until you get out of bed and feed it. It really is in everyone's mutual interest, depression or not. It's harder to stay depressed when you have to do things. It's easier to stay depressed when you can lie in bed the whole day.
- Trollmann 2y agoThanks for restating, I get where you're coming from. Also your reply to another comment made me realize this is also a language mixup on my side. I didn't realize there is a depression (mood) in English. My native language has the major depressive disorder as depression, not sure if there is a term for the mood. Sorry for not checking this assumption before but I guess my perception of suggesting 'have you tried not being depressed?' just didn't sit well with me.
- MyOutfitIsVague 2y ago"Depression" isn't just the name of a disorder.
- codemixture 2y agoNo, it's rarely a choice, but having people (or even pets!) that depend on you is literally life-saving for many.
- s1artibartfast 2y agoIt is never a choice and it is always a choice because it is fundamentally an internal psychological battle. I personally think that viewing it as a choice is the more productive of the two. That is to say, people have the choice to persevere, keep trying to improve, and trying to recover. Nothing will change without intent.