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Mindfulness and CBT sorts of things have always seemed like saying, "but have you tried just not having anxiety?" I don't get it. Address the feeling, let it w

Mindfulness and CBT sorts of things have always seemed like saying, "but have you tried just not having anxiety?" I don't get it. Address the feeling, let it wash over you. It won't wash over. It sticks and causes the chemicals in my body to fuck me up completely. I can already tell you that I'm anxious.

bmacho 2y ago
> "but have you tried just not having anxiety?" Probably this is _the_ solution for many? GP seems to talk from experience with this, or similar situations. Probably it could work for you too, if you haven't tried it yet. (Also, if you haven't tried it enough times. One experiment/measurement is not enough.)
HelloMcFly 2y ago
This feeling of letting it "wash over you" is a verbal construction that is very helpful and apt for some, but others may describe it's different. Some people may start to think of it as "experiencing these feelings with more remove" or something. It's something that takes practice often done with guidance from a therapist or psychologist. For many (this is not universally true), what is experienced as "anxiety" is like a preset program or routine that auto-executes across cognitive, behavioral, and emotional channels. CBT isn't a cure, but helps you interrupt the program during its cycle or before it starts by inserting new and different programs that don't auto-run without effort. As you sense your anxiety spiking ("awareness training" may be needed to get this early insight), you engage in behaviors or techniques to prevent the normal cycle of anxiety spiraling and calm the nervous system. It is effective, but it is not a magic trick and takes practice.
msabalau 2y ago
While you may be aware that you're anxious, part of the point of things like mindfulness is that not everyone is aware of what their autonomic nervous system is doing to them, because it functions largely unconsciously. So it's helpful for many people in some circumstances to notice what their body is doing, and then pick up practices that engage the parasypathetic nervous system and calm down a fight or flight response in cases where it is silly and unhelpful--say when one is in a airport, rather than confronting a large carnivore in nature. And, perhaps, you can appreciate that the sooner one notices what is happening subconsciously, the easier it might be for some people to "put out the fire" of their autonomic response. Even if getting good at this might take practice. Maybe this awareness and these tools are not things of interest or value to you, but they don't seem to be things that are that are that hard to understand abstractly, even if you don't practice them.
michaelgburton 2y ago
There are visualization techniques that help with the washing over, but there's also the advice, which CBT therapists do give but randos on the internet always forget, that sometimes you're having anxiety (or another "negative emotion") for a reason, and it's a bad idea to ignore it in those cases. If you want to get better at the "washing over" thing, maybe try visualizations like: - As you breathe, imagine you're pulling over to the side of the road and watching your anxious thoughts drive past. - As you breathe, imagine taking each anxious thought and placing it on a leaf on a stream and watching it float away But in general, security theatre is kind of a legit reason to feel anxious - these folks have real power over you and can screw up your life - so it's ok to just feel it in those situations.

bmacho 2y ago

> "but have you tried just not having anxiety?" Probably this is _the_ solution for many? GP seems to talk from experience with this, or similar situations. Probably it could work for you too, if you haven't tried it yet. (Also, if you haven't tried it enough times. One experiment/measurement is not enough.)

HelloMcFly 2y ago

This feeling of letting it "wash over you" is a verbal construction that is very helpful and apt for some, but others may describe it's different. Some people may start to think of it as "experiencing these feelings with more remove" or something. It's something that takes practice often done with guidance from a therapist or psychologist. For many (this is not universally true), what is experienced as "anxiety" is like a preset program or routine that auto-executes across cognitive, behavioral, and emotional channels. CBT isn't a cure, but helps you interrupt the program during its cycle or before it starts by inserting new and different programs that don't auto-run without effort. As you sense your anxiety spiking ("awareness training" may be needed to get this early insight), you engage in behaviors or techniques to prevent the normal cycle of anxiety spiraling and calm the nervous system. It is effective, but it is not a magic trick and takes practice.

msabalau 2y ago

While you may be aware that you're anxious, part of the point of things like mindfulness is that not everyone is aware of what their autonomic nervous system is doing to them, because it functions largely unconsciously. So it's helpful for many people in some circumstances to notice what their body is doing, and then pick up practices that engage the parasypathetic nervous system and calm down a fight or flight response in cases where it is silly and unhelpful--say when one is in a airport, rather than confronting a large carnivore in nature. And, perhaps, you can appreciate that the sooner one notices what is happening subconsciously, the easier it might be for some people to "put out the fire" of their autonomic response. Even if getting good at this might take practice. Maybe this awareness and these tools are not things of interest or value to you, but they don't seem to be things that are that are that hard to understand abstractly, even if you don't practice them.

michaelgburton 2y ago

There are visualization techniques that help with the washing over, but there's also the advice, which CBT therapists do give but randos on the internet always forget, that sometimes you're having anxiety (or another "negative emotion") for a reason, and it's a bad idea to ignore it in those cases. If you want to get better at the "washing over" thing, maybe try visualizations like: - As you breathe, imagine you're pulling over to the side of the road and watching your anxious thoughts drive past. - As you breathe, imagine taking each anxious thought and placing it on a leaf on a stream and watching it float away But in general, security theatre is kind of a legit reason to feel anxious - these folks have real power over you and can screw up your life - so it's ok to just feel it in those situations.