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Interesting data in the article though nothing unexpected for people who follow this space. Some notable points: > The other thing that interests you is the li

Interesting data in the article though nothing unexpected for people who follow this space. Some notable points: > The other thing that interests you is the like ratio, or the openness, among 100 profiles that the user sees, how many of them does he like? (The median for men is 26% and for women is 4%.) >The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio of 5% and you remove 50% of the profiles, even if you remove only the profiles she will not like, her like ratio will still be 5% (you can do that by removing very unattractive people for a guy that is very attractive, for example). It is funny to observe, but it seems like a girl has internal reasoning on a dating app, and they know they can only like x% of profiles whatever she sees (of course, it doesn't work if you show only ugly people). And lastly: >Whats interesting is that the more attractive the guys were ranked by girls the more they were looking for something not serious.

marinmania 2y ago
I have a theory for the swiping behavior of women. When they swipe right, it will most likely be a match, and they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time. This strikes me as rational and reasonable. For men, most swipes will not be a match, so less reason to ever think about swiping left to maintain a certain swipe pecentage. Just a theory!
- mettamage 2y ago
  > they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time This is true. My cap was at 50 conversations at the same time. After that, my brain got fried (male here).
  - rqtwteye 2y ago
    My cap was maybe 5. Seems I have less capacity.
    - mettamage 2y ago
      To be fair, I was crazily driven and treated it like a job. Intimacy is crazy important to me Edit: interesting that I got at least 3 downvotes for that comment. I don't mind, genuinely. It's just interesting. Different world views and all that
      - rqtwteye 2y ago
        People will downvote you for stating a truth they don’t like.
- globular-toast 2y ago
  Another theory: when you swipe and don't get a match, that could be considered a rejection and women are worse at handling rejection (probably due to never having to learn to deal with it). Men, on the other hand, have to learn to accept rejection so little is felt when almost all swipes don't match.
  - d4mi3n 2y ago
    Most people (all sexes and genders) are bad at handling rejection, period. It’s why online dating is popular in general—a rejection over a digital medium is a lot less intimidating and less confrontational than the same in person.
    - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
      The rate and experience of rejection does not seem to be symmetrical across the sexes by a significant degree. Of course nobody likes rejection, but this point doesn’t really advance the discussion.
      - swores 2y ago
        They were responding to "women are worse at handling rejection", and if they disagree with that (as I do too) then it is advancing the conversation to say so, even though it doesn't advance a part of the conversation that specifically explains dating app use.
        dgfitz 2y ago
        Men handle rejection poorly, I’ve seen it, as I’m sure we all have. Weeping, drinking, wallowing in self-pity. It can get bad. Women handle rejection with anger, resentment, and vitriol towards the rejecting party. So much so that I’ve seen people get married and divorced because the man was basically bullied into sticking around, and she left in the end anyways. Happens all the fucking time.
    - knighthack 2y ago
- yieldcrv 2y ago
  Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter We should do a study on that itself, because I think guys are having quality conversations, pulling teeth with an entitled beautiful woman they are prioritizing, and everyone else is waiting for the guy to lead and there is no bandwidth left! so guys spread themselves too thin to procedurally lead every new conversation after accumulating matches while girls are particular on the matches
  - rqtwteye 2y ago
    “ Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter” From my experience in online dating there are a lot of women who expect the guy to do everything. He needs to approach and then also carry the conversation. Out of maybe 10 initial messages I received from women there was maybe 1 that was more than “Hi”.
    - yieldcrv 2y ago
      yeah, old Bumble never worked for me. I was attractive enough to be matched with but not prioritized for women to start the conversation. It was very validating to know that Bumble dropped their one unique value add because women were afraid to approach and werent doing it enough
carabiner 2y ago
This one is classic: > Girls would say, red flag if a guy has shirtless pictures and then liking profiles where guys were shirtless. This is surprising: > In our case we had even acquisition in terms of male/female, but the retention of girls is lower than that of men, so you end up with 66% men and 34% women. 2:1 men to woman is a far better ratio than what most people claim (5:1 is usually thrown around with no evidence). These points will ruffle feathers: > But I think dating apps can currently be used at each women and men advantage, it is just necessary to have the right strategy: > For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard) > For guys, you need to pay a photograph (to get liked) and pay the premium plan (so that your profile is shown to other users). If you think a dating app has no incentive to show paying users to girls, then you didnt read this article ^^
- bawolff 2y ago
  > For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard) I kind of didn't understand the logic behind how he got there. According to the article women get more matches then they know what to do with. Why would lowering your standards in such an environment be a good strategy?
  - srjek 2y ago
    The article is a bit a of jumble of thoughts, but I believe that advice is aimed at girls who aren't liking and therefore not matching. Some lines that mention this particular grouping: > Only 50% of girls sent 10 likes in their account lifespan. > 10% of girls that finish the onboarding never send any pass or like, ... > We have plenty of girls that can scroll through 300 profiles and not like anyone and deleting their account saying "I dont like anyone" well
  - carabiner 2y ago
    Lowering your standards will find guys who aren't just interested in sex. The problem is that most women want the same (small proportion of) men. He said that the more matches a man gets, the more likely he'll just want sex and not a relationship. So you go for the less desired men and you find better quality matches, if you are looking for more than casual relations.
HeckFeck 2y ago
I can corroborate this. When I was using dating apps I kept a spreadsheet to track the response to like ratio, and indeed, the amount of women who liked me back in any given month was exactly 5% of those whom I liked. Much as I wish that ratio was higher, data is data. The Tinder style matchmaking will always bring out this behaviour.
- rqtwteye 2y ago
  I didn’t run the numbers but I also quickly figured that the only chance to make progress is to like a lot of profiles. For a while i liked only profiles which i thought are a really good fit but got no responses. Turns out spamming works better. Once a woman likes you back, then you can take a closer look.
  - novia 2y ago
    [flagged]
    - iczero 2y ago
      have you considered that dating apps suck for literally everyone and everybody should leave them?
    - Gunax 2y ago
      [flagged]
    - rqtwteye 2y ago
      No worries. My method worked and I am off the market.
      - novia 2y ago
        But the method doesn't die with you. Now when someone gets a like it is meaningless.
        2y ago

marinmania 2y ago

I have a theory for the swiping behavior of women. When they swipe right, it will most likely be a match, and they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time. This strikes me as rational and reasonable. For men, most swipes will not be a match, so less reason to ever think about swiping left to maintain a certain swipe pecentage. Just a theory!

mettamage 2y ago
> they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time This is true. My cap was at 50 conversations at the same time. After that, my brain got fried (male here).
- rqtwteye 2y ago
  My cap was maybe 5. Seems I have less capacity.
  - mettamage 2y ago
    To be fair, I was crazily driven and treated it like a job. Intimacy is crazy important to me Edit: interesting that I got at least 3 downvotes for that comment. I don't mind, genuinely. It's just interesting. Different world views and all that
    - rqtwteye 2y ago
      People will downvote you for stating a truth they don’t like.
globular-toast 2y ago
Another theory: when you swipe and don't get a match, that could be considered a rejection and women are worse at handling rejection (probably due to never having to learn to deal with it). Men, on the other hand, have to learn to accept rejection so little is felt when almost all swipes don't match.
- d4mi3n 2y ago
  Most people (all sexes and genders) are bad at handling rejection, period. It’s why online dating is popular in general—a rejection over a digital medium is a lot less intimidating and less confrontational than the same in person.
  - DiggyJohnson 2y ago
    The rate and experience of rejection does not seem to be symmetrical across the sexes by a significant degree. Of course nobody likes rejection, but this point doesn’t really advance the discussion.
    - swores 2y ago
      They were responding to "women are worse at handling rejection", and if they disagree with that (as I do too) then it is advancing the conversation to say so, even though it doesn't advance a part of the conversation that specifically explains dating app use.
      - dgfitz 2y ago
        Men handle rejection poorly, I’ve seen it, as I’m sure we all have. Weeping, drinking, wallowing in self-pity. It can get bad. Women handle rejection with anger, resentment, and vitriol towards the rejecting party. So much so that I’ve seen people get married and divorced because the man was basically bullied into sticking around, and she left in the end anyways. Happens all the fucking time.
  - knighthack 2y ago
yieldcrv 2y ago
Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter We should do a study on that itself, because I think guys are having quality conversations, pulling teeth with an entitled beautiful woman they are prioritizing, and everyone else is waiting for the guy to lead and there is no bandwidth left! so guys spread themselves too thin to procedurally lead every new conversation after accumulating matches while girls are particular on the matches
- rqtwteye 2y ago
  “ Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter” From my experience in online dating there are a lot of women who expect the guy to do everything. He needs to approach and then also carry the conversation. Out of maybe 10 initial messages I received from women there was maybe 1 that was more than “Hi”.
  - yieldcrv 2y ago
    yeah, old Bumble never worked for me. I was attractive enough to be matched with but not prioritized for women to start the conversation. It was very validating to know that Bumble dropped their one unique value add because women were afraid to approach and werent doing it enough

carabiner 2y ago

This one is classic: > Girls would say, red flag if a guy has shirtless pictures and then liking profiles where guys were shirtless. This is surprising: > In our case we had even acquisition in terms of male/female, but the retention of girls is lower than that of men, so you end up with 66% men and 34% women. 2:1 men to woman is a far better ratio than what most people claim (5:1 is usually thrown around with no evidence). These points will ruffle feathers: > But I think dating apps can currently be used at each women and men advantage, it is just necessary to have the right strategy: > For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard) > For guys, you need to pay a photograph (to get liked) and pay the premium plan (so that your profile is shown to other users). If you think a dating app has no incentive to show paying users to girls, then you didnt read this article ^^

bawolff 2y ago
> For girls you need to lower your standards and force you to go on a date with guys that you dont have the flame for (it is actually very hard to do that for a girl, very very hard) I kind of didn't understand the logic behind how he got there. According to the article women get more matches then they know what to do with. Why would lowering your standards in such an environment be a good strategy?
- srjek 2y ago
  The article is a bit a of jumble of thoughts, but I believe that advice is aimed at girls who aren't liking and therefore not matching. Some lines that mention this particular grouping: > Only 50% of girls sent 10 likes in their account lifespan. > 10% of girls that finish the onboarding never send any pass or like, ... > We have plenty of girls that can scroll through 300 profiles and not like anyone and deleting their account saying "I dont like anyone" well
- carabiner 2y ago
  Lowering your standards will find guys who aren't just interested in sex. The problem is that most women want the same (small proportion of) men. He said that the more matches a man gets, the more likely he'll just want sex and not a relationship. So you go for the less desired men and you find better quality matches, if you are looking for more than casual relations.

HeckFeck 2y ago

I can corroborate this. When I was using dating apps I kept a spreadsheet to track the response to like ratio, and indeed, the amount of women who liked me back in any given month was exactly 5% of those whom I liked. Much as I wish that ratio was higher, data is data. The Tinder style matchmaking will always bring out this behaviour.

rqtwteye 2y ago
I didn’t run the numbers but I also quickly figured that the only chance to make progress is to like a lot of profiles. For a while i liked only profiles which i thought are a really good fit but got no responses. Turns out spamming works better. Once a woman likes you back, then you can take a closer look.
- novia 2y ago
  [flagged]
  - iczero 2y ago
    have you considered that dating apps suck for literally everyone and everybody should leave them?
  - Gunax 2y ago
    [flagged]
  - rqtwteye 2y ago
    No worries. My method worked and I am off the market.
    - novia 2y ago
      But the method doesn't die with you. Now when someone gets a like it is meaningless.
      - 2y ago