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This is another reason why, if you're a man, it's incredibly important for you to work hard enough and establish a lifestyle where your wife has the option to s

This is another reason why, if you're a man, it's incredibly important for you to work hard enough and establish a lifestyle where your wife has the option to stay at home and/or avoid full-time professional work if she so chooses. It takes an incredible amount of work to run a household. It's not fair to ask her to do two jobs. And that's ESPECIALLY true after you begin having children. There first thing you (as the man) must do is get off the hedonic treadmill of consumerism that will drive the desire for two incomes.

jasonpeacock 2y ago
This is another reason why, if you're a woman, it's incredibly important for you to work hard enough and establish a lifestyle where your husband has the option to stay at home and/or avoid full-time professional work if he so chooses. It takes an incredible amount of work to run a household. It's not fair to ask him to do two jobs. And that's ESPECIALLY true after you begin having children. The first thing you (as the woman) must do is get off the hedonistic treadmill of consumerism that drives the desire to have two incomes.
- declan_roberts 2y ago
  I fully endorse your message.
hn_throwaway_99 2y ago
Or, ya know, you could both chip in in the household work. That said, I'm not really against the thrust of your post, despite its undercurrent of sexism (I know plenty of relationships where the woman is the breadwinner and the man a househusband). In general, this "division of labor" is a thing that actually tends to work out better when you can focus on one thing at a time. As a not-perfect analogy, I know divorced couples with kids that actually feel their shared custody arrangement is much better than when they were together (note these couples still like and care for each other, they just don't want to be married). I.e. when it's their turn to have their kids, they're totally focused on their kids, it can be stressful if they're working but they block out all their time to either work or be with their kids. Then, when it's their spouse's turn, they can do whatever the F they want, be completely relaxed, etc.
mindslight 2y ago
You're spot on noticing the fundamental problem, but perhaps describing the dynamic in terms of a solution that people are understandably allergic to. There were ways to have managed the societal change of women entering the workforce and having fulfilling careers without having to end up at the current oversubscribed catastrophe we have now. But instead, the surplus was gobbled up by the financial treadmill and made it so that two full time incomes is just the new normal while the system-illegible work mostly gets neglected.
deleted 2y ago
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jasonpeacock 2y ago

This is another reason why, if you're a woman, it's incredibly important for you to work hard enough and establish a lifestyle where your husband has the option to stay at home and/or avoid full-time professional work if he so chooses. It takes an incredible amount of work to run a household. It's not fair to ask him to do two jobs. And that's ESPECIALLY true after you begin having children. The first thing you (as the woman) must do is get off the hedonistic treadmill of consumerism that drives the desire to have two incomes.

declan_roberts 2y ago
I fully endorse your message.

hn_throwaway_99 2y ago

Or, ya know, you could both chip in in the household work. That said, I'm not really against the thrust of your post, despite its undercurrent of sexism (I know plenty of relationships where the woman is the breadwinner and the man a househusband). In general, this "division of labor" is a thing that actually tends to work out better when you can focus on one thing at a time. As a not-perfect analogy, I know divorced couples with kids that actually feel their shared custody arrangement is much better than when they were together (note these couples still like and care for each other, they just don't want to be married). I.e. when it's their turn to have their kids, they're totally focused on their kids, it can be stressful if they're working but they block out all their time to either work or be with their kids. Then, when it's their spouse's turn, they can do whatever the F they want, be completely relaxed, etc.

mindslight 2y ago

You're spot on noticing the fundamental problem, but perhaps describing the dynamic in terms of a solution that people are understandably allergic to. There were ways to have managed the societal change of women entering the workforce and having fulfilling careers without having to end up at the current oversubscribed catastrophe we have now. But instead, the surplus was gobbled up by the financial treadmill and made it so that two full time incomes is just the new normal while the system-illegible work mostly gets neglected.

deleted 2y ago

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