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In Defense of Parenthood - new research suggests children makes you happy [pdf]
- antidoh 14y ago"parents (and especially fathers) report relatively higher levels of happiness, positiveemotion, and meaning in life." Me too. My kid is the best thing ever, from a guy who never wanted kids. We've evolved to have kids and protect them, that's obviously necessary. The way that plays out is that kids bond to their parents, and that bond is expressed as love, and man what a great thing to be loved by your kid.
- dorian-graph 14y agoWait, we need to defend parenthood?
- CodeCube 14y agohahaha, first thing I thought. I've got two kids and I haven't descended into a hole of misery and depression ;)
- heeton 14y agoExactly, right? It's sort of hard-wired into us to want kids.... Next up: new study shows that sex is fun!
- gaius 14y agoOn a planet with 7Bn people? We could probably stand to skip a generation, maybe 2.
- tomjen3 14y agoYes. I don't want to give up my life and income to raise children and I freely admit that I look down on those how do -- how can you possibly give up your future and salary for something as trivial, mundane and boring as a baby?
- specto 14y agoI have the same outlook, however time and time again I see posts in various communities that state they felt the same way until they had them. I will wait until my 30s and see how I feel.
- benjohnson 14y agoYep... everything you hear about the horrors of children are true: The poop on themselves, they cry, and then even vomit seemingly at random. They are also worth every moment.
- Domenic_S 14y agoYou have no future. None of us does. In the span of all of human history, the duration of your life is an insignificant blip. So you have kids and your blood lives on, and now a part of you lives into the future after you're buried. One way to look at it, at least. Disclaimer: I don't have kids.
- tomjen3 14y agoWe only exist as a way for our genes to be mixed and passed on to the next generation, but hey, I am not going to be a good servant to my DNA. Oh and once I am dead I really don't care what happens as it will have no effect on me at all.
- CodeMage 14y agoBy all means, if you see raising a child as trivial, mundane and boring, then I would like to recommend not having any children until that outlook changes. Children require love, empathy and sacrifice. What really intrigues me, though, is your statement that you "look down" on people who decided to raise children. Does that include looking down on your own parents for that decision? I freely admit that I don't understand and can't identify at all with that kind of thinking. It's one thing to say you don't understand why someone would sacrifice certain things in their life to raise children, but looking down on those people is a whole different beast.
- pixelmonkey 14y agoStudy 1 indicated that "happiness" was moderated by marital status. Married couples with children were not significantly happier than married couples without children. They were only happier than unmarried individuals. "married parents did not differ in satisfaction or happiness from married people without children, but unmarried parents reported lower happiness and satisfaction than their childless counterparts" In Study 2, the discussion section points out the selection bias inherent in this particular investigation. "... happier people may be more likely to become parents. If parenting is related to well-being, then parents should experience more positive states when they are taking care of their children than when engaging in their other daily activities." Study 2 does not distinguish between individuals who chose to have children willingly vs those who were pressured into having children by people or circumstances around them. People who actually want children may be the largest group of people with children, or at least the largest group among those sampled. Study 3 is perhaps the most subjective investigation method. The main finding is that people associate the actual act of child care-taking with high "meaning in life". This is the parroting of a cliche. Sure, versus watching TV and reading reddit, playing with your kid is going to seem highly meaningful. Individuals who choose not to have children (operative word: choose) usually do so because they replace that time with something meaningful to them, e.g. writing, research, travel, a more demanding career. Religious individuals rightfully find time spent on church and prayer meaningful; atheists find this time could be better spent on other things. All this is to say, I wouldn't conclude from this set of studies that "children make you happy", and thus everyone should rush to have them. Instead, I might suggest you ponder whether you truly want children -- ignoring this study or others like it. If the answer is an emphatic "yes" -- despite the financial, emotional, and time requirements -- then, by all means, do. But if the answer is a hesitant "yes" or a firm "no", then, I might suggest you reconsider. And, if at all possible, when you do have your child, try not to be smug about it to those individuals who chose to live their life childless. Their choice is just as valid as yours.
- eli_gottlieb 14y agoThat's not a defense at all. That's a disguised offense against the proper values of parenting.
- theorique 14y agoWhat are the "proper values of parenting"?
- eli_gottlieb 14y agoParenting for its own sake and for the sake of the child rather than as the parents' latest hobby.
- rada 14y agoNew research suggests that children make you happy. Looks like "you" means "fathers": [...] analyses revealed that parenthood was associated with greater satisfaction and happiness only among fathers. Ouch.
- gadders 14y agoAnecdotally: fuck yeah. Best thing I ever did or ever will do.