> I also invite him to consider his own parent's past and whether he can find any evidence of "forced assimilation" in their lives. I have a hunch. Well yeah.

> I also invite him to consider his own parent's past and whether he can find any evidence of "forced assimilation" in their lives. I have a hunch. Well yeah. Every time I followed the thread of a bad behavior, I found feelings of helplessness at the other end. Following the behavior-threads of the people who hurt me, you know what I found. Knowing that helped shift the dynamic (between me and abuser) from animosity to shared support. In some cases, anyway.