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> respect that “my” pronouns are unimportant to me I can respect this if and only if it's actually true. If your going to be offended if someone uses a pronoun

> respect that “my” pronouns are unimportant to me I can respect this if and only if it's actually true. If your going to be offended if someone uses a pronoun for the wrong gender, or uses "they" then I don't respect the performance, and in my experience most people who are resistant to giving their pronouns would indeed be offended by either of those. If you actually don't care, great, no problem. If you do I can't respect being unwilling to put in the miniscule effort to state your preference instead of being offended when someone doesn't default to it.

kcplate 2y ago
> If you do I can't respect being unwilling to put in the miniscule effort to state your preference instead of being offended when someone doesn't default to it Before about 3ish years ago such a thing was never expected of me and I can’t think of a time prior or since where someone didn’t manage to correctly figure it from apparent social cues of their exposure to from me. Why all of a sudden should something that was a non-issue for decades would society now require me to spend a “miniscule of effort” or frankly any effort whatsoever to state something that should be completely obvious to you and has been by literally everyone who managed to encounter to me prior to now.
- Volundr 2y ago
  In other words, you do care, and your whole "it's unimportant to me" and "your best guess is fine" isn't actually true. Instead, if you've chosen to play guessing games with someone who has made clear their intent to respect your preference, all the while pretending they're the ones who are being unreasonable. That I don't feel any need to respect.
  - kcplate 2y ago
    No, I am not playing the guessing game, they are. I am choosing to not play a game that didn’t exist 3 years ago because it’s unnecessary. This is literally a first world, English language only language fad. Y’all want to play it, have fun, I won’t get in your way. However let’s not pretend that you are somehow virtuous because you’re playing the game…but I am not because I am watching it amused on the sideline.
    - pixxel 2y ago
      [dead]
    - Volundr 2y ago
      You just claimed your pronouns are unimportant, and because of that your non-answer to an honest question should be respected, then turned around and said you would indeed be offended if someone used the wrong one. Sure sounds like playing games to me.
      - kcplate 2y ago
        > then turned around and said you would indeed be offended if someone used the wrong one. You need to go read my comments again because I literally said no such thing.
- locopati 2y ago
  Welcome to a world in which we realize some people don't use the pronouns you might think they do and therefore, out of respect for everyone, we ask what pronouns people use. Why is that so hard to wrap your head around?
  - kcplate 2y ago
    > Out of respect for everyone Sorry, I don’t believe that this is the real reason, but I realize it’s the reason that is often given as justification. If it was really “out of respect for everyone” you wouldn’t make a big deal out of it when people don’t offer them up. You could just do what people did prior to 3 years ago (and frankly even now among us folks that don’t put emphasis on pronouns) and just let social cues lead you. If someone isn’t offering up their pronouns to you in 2025, my guess is they aren’t going to get butthurt if someone accidentally uses the wrong one in conversation.
    - locopati 2y ago
      I don't honestly care about whether people offer them or not. It's the implications of a blanket policy banning it that worries me. Pronouns are an issue the right has stirred up against the left and is way out of proportion to its reality. This is the case for so many things the right is good at creating wedges with.

kcplate 2y ago

> If you do I can't respect being unwilling to put in the miniscule effort to state your preference instead of being offended when someone doesn't default to it Before about 3ish years ago such a thing was never expected of me and I can’t think of a time prior or since where someone didn’t manage to correctly figure it from apparent social cues of their exposure to from me. Why all of a sudden should something that was a non-issue for decades would society now require me to spend a “miniscule of effort” or frankly any effort whatsoever to state something that should be completely obvious to you and has been by literally everyone who managed to encounter to me prior to now.

Volundr 2y ago
In other words, you do care, and your whole "it's unimportant to me" and "your best guess is fine" isn't actually true. Instead, if you've chosen to play guessing games with someone who has made clear their intent to respect your preference, all the while pretending they're the ones who are being unreasonable. That I don't feel any need to respect.
- kcplate 2y ago
  No, I am not playing the guessing game, they are. I am choosing to not play a game that didn’t exist 3 years ago because it’s unnecessary. This is literally a first world, English language only language fad. Y’all want to play it, have fun, I won’t get in your way. However let’s not pretend that you are somehow virtuous because you’re playing the game…but I am not because I am watching it amused on the sideline.
  - pixxel 2y ago
    [dead]
  - Volundr 2y ago
    You just claimed your pronouns are unimportant, and because of that your non-answer to an honest question should be respected, then turned around and said you would indeed be offended if someone used the wrong one. Sure sounds like playing games to me.
    - kcplate 2y ago
      > then turned around and said you would indeed be offended if someone used the wrong one. You need to go read my comments again because I literally said no such thing.
locopati 2y ago
Welcome to a world in which we realize some people don't use the pronouns you might think they do and therefore, out of respect for everyone, we ask what pronouns people use. Why is that so hard to wrap your head around?
- kcplate 2y ago
  > Out of respect for everyone Sorry, I don’t believe that this is the real reason, but I realize it’s the reason that is often given as justification. If it was really “out of respect for everyone” you wouldn’t make a big deal out of it when people don’t offer them up. You could just do what people did prior to 3 years ago (and frankly even now among us folks that don’t put emphasis on pronouns) and just let social cues lead you. If someone isn’t offering up their pronouns to you in 2025, my guess is they aren’t going to get butthurt if someone accidentally uses the wrong one in conversation.
  - locopati 2y ago
    I don't honestly care about whether people offer them or not. It's the implications of a blanket policy banning it that worries me. Pronouns are an issue the right has stirred up against the left and is way out of proportion to its reality. This is the case for so many things the right is good at creating wedges with.