Requires != receives. Knee-jerk reactions to novel circumstances get people into trouble all the time. Particularly in impulsive people, who find their actions

Requires != receives. Knee-jerk reactions to novel circumstances get people into trouble all the time. Particularly in impulsive people, who find their actions sometimes don’t align with their values, to the point they can’t be friends with people who are particularly judgemental about actions versus words and won’t accept apologies. It is a lot of work to retrain your lizard brain to not react in unpleasant ways when the shit hits the fan or you’re exhausted, and the default answer to everything is “no”. There are ways I show up in a crisis that are exemplary, and others that I’m not proud of. Understanding why doesn’t fix it. It’s just step 1, like in AA.