Like I said, I'm not saying that this was victim blaming, I'm only protesting against this explanation for why it's not: > It's not really victim blaming if yo

Like I said, I'm not saying that this was victim blaming, I'm only protesting against this explanation for why it's not: > It's not really victim blaming if you do it to yourself. "They did it to themselves" is always the structure of a victim blaming exercise. That doesn't mean that every time someone says "they did it to themselves" it's victim blaming, but you have to actually demonstrate why it's true in this case that the victim did it to themselves. For example, to add some nuance to your car crash example: if Joe died in a car crash and wasn't wearing his seatbelt, it would obviously not be victim blaming if he were drunk and spun out of control. It probably would be victim blaming if he were hit by a drunk and happened to also not be wearing his seatbelt. Yes, he should have been wearing a seatbelt, but the context makes him a victim regardless, and it would be inappropriate to say "he did it to himself", even if it might have been appropriate in the case where he was also the drunk.