3 ms·

I just emailed my doctor and told him to never prescribe to me again because I'm an addict and can't control myself around amphetamines. So now I am off everyth

I just emailed my doctor and told him to never prescribe to me again because I'm an addict and can't control myself around amphetamines. So now I am off everything totally. At first I self medicated with weed and booze a lot, but after a few months I quit everything. I don't even consume caffeine anymore (found out all that adderall gave me a fucking anuerysm in my aorta at the ripe old age of 27, so I quit nicotine and caffeine as soon as I got the news) Anyways nowadays I just power through the ADHD. I feel like I kinda suck at my job but still getting good performance reviews so, not that bad I guess. I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on. I started working out doing calisthenics 3 days a week and it is kinda the cornerstone of my life at the moment. it anchors everything I do pretty much.

hirvi74 2y ago
I admire your conviction. Honestly, I probably should do something similar, but I am too afraid to do it. Like you said prior, the meds helped you focus a little at work, and to me, that is one of the few benefits I get too. However, it's enough that I am probably willing to destroy my body over it. Is it worth it? Probably not, but I am not sure what other choices I have. I think one of the sinister and most beneficial aspects of medication is something I liken to time-traveling. I work in a cubicle farm as a dev. No windows, artificial light, and tons of noise all around. Unmedicated me would probably be fired or would just walk out within a day or two. However, this is where the time-traveling helps me. Just pop the pills, and time seems to evaporate before my very eyes. Hours can feel like minutes, and the next thing I know the day is over (long bouts of hyperfocus in other words). Am I productive during these times? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it doesn't matter. It makes the boring life I have confined myself to go by quicker. > I self medicated with weed and booze a lot Opposite order for me, and I didn't start them until after being medicated, ironically. I try to drink less now, and have been alright at that, but I think weed is one of the only things keeping me going right now. It allows me to be calm and present and not feel like I have to be constantly doing something. I can actually watch an entire TV from start to finish! It's not without its negatives, for sure, but nothing in life is. > I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on On and off meds, I have always struggled with this. I apparently have no issues developing bad habits, but I am incapable of developing good habits. The second something derails my habits, then it takes an insurmountable amount of effort and motivation to start back up again. Have you found anything to combat this?
- DontchaKnowit 2y ago
  Yes will power and age. But also the book atomic habits helped me a lot

hirvi74 2y ago

I admire your conviction. Honestly, I probably should do something similar, but I am too afraid to do it. Like you said prior, the meds helped you focus a little at work, and to me, that is one of the few benefits I get too. However, it's enough that I am probably willing to destroy my body over it. Is it worth it? Probably not, but I am not sure what other choices I have. I think one of the sinister and most beneficial aspects of medication is something I liken to time-traveling. I work in a cubicle farm as a dev. No windows, artificial light, and tons of noise all around. Unmedicated me would probably be fired or would just walk out within a day or two. However, this is where the time-traveling helps me. Just pop the pills, and time seems to evaporate before my very eyes. Hours can feel like minutes, and the next thing I know the day is over (long bouts of hyperfocus in other words). Am I productive during these times? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it doesn't matter. It makes the boring life I have confined myself to go by quicker. > I self medicated with weed and booze a lot Opposite order for me, and I didn't start them until after being medicated, ironically. I try to drink less now, and have been alright at that, but I think weed is one of the only things keeping me going right now. It allows me to be calm and present and not feel like I have to be constantly doing something. I can actually watch an entire TV from start to finish! It's not without its negatives, for sure, but nothing in life is. > I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on On and off meds, I have always struggled with this. I apparently have no issues developing bad habits, but I am incapable of developing good habits. The second something derails my habits, then it takes an insurmountable amount of effort and motivation to start back up again. Have you found anything to combat this?

DontchaKnowit 2y ago
Yes will power and age. But also the book atomic habits helped me a lot