5 ms·

I guess it depends on the treatment, but amphetamine based adhd treatment was for me, the fucking devil. It absolutely ruined my life for the 8 years I was on i

I guess it depends on the treatment, but amphetamine based adhd treatment was for me, the fucking devil. It absolutely ruined my life for the 8 years I was on it. Fucked my health up, fucked my personality up, fucked my interpersonal relationships up, etc. But hey I was slightly better at focusing at work. Kinda. When I wasnt habitually dopamine chasing by playing video games or jerking off

cbsmith 2y ago
> I guess it depends on the treatment, but amphetamine based adhd treatment was for me, the fucking devil. Fortunately, we now have options other than amphetamines, but yes, in general, like most diseases, ADHD is categorized by symptoms, not really causes, and so lots of treatments that work wonderfully for some people with ADHD are literally the worst thing for other people with ADHD.
- moltar 2y ago
  What are the new options? Thank you.
  - cbsmith 2y ago
    So, on the medication side, there are NRIs (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) and alpha-2A agonists. The latter in particular work kind of the opposite of stimulants. A psychiatrists described the difference to me with the metaphor of a sound system where you're having trouble listening to the music. The stimulants are amplifiers that push up the volume. The other approach is a better preamp that does a better job reducing the noise. Depending on the nature of your problem, one is going to help a lot, and the other is going to be useless at best, but could well make the problem worse. I presume you're aware of the other non-pharmaceutical interventions, like CBT. Generally they don't have as high a success rate, but that doesn't mean that they aren't be the right solution for you.
  - musiciangames 2y ago
    I found Modafinil really helped. Had to persuade my consultant to prescribe it 'off-label', it's approved for narcolepsy.
    - DontchaKnowit 2y ago
      fwiw, I'm pretty sure you can get mopafinil and adrafinil (or at least one of the two) online grey-market pretty easily
drekk 2y ago
This is how I found out I had both ADHD and bipolar.
- hirvi74 2y ago
  Type one or two? That's how I was misdiagnosed as bipolar-II. I have unipolar depression, but the high dosage of amphetamines I was on had me tweaking apparently. Once my dosage was drastically reduced, I had no issues other than normal depression ever again. You would think taking me off the medication/reducing the dosage would have been the first step in diagnosing such a condition, but we're talking about the two most pseudoscientific fields of science/medicine, so perhaps I was wrong to trust them.
- DontchaKnowit 2y ago
  what do you mean by that
_yb2s 2y ago
Adderall was a nightmare for me as well, but methylphenidate (ritalin) seems to have no adverse effects I can notice at all. It helps, but seemingly only with other regular life things and not really with work. Ironically, I am much better at paying attention while doing hobbies and housework but don’t find it easier to start work.
hirvi74 2y ago
Did you find something that worked because you have literally just described what I have been struggling with all these years. Everything was great in the beginning, but that slowly started to fade away as time progressed, and like you said, the demons started to come out.
- DontchaKnowit 2y ago
  I just emailed my doctor and told him to never prescribe to me again because I'm an addict and can't control myself around amphetamines. So now I am off everything totally. At first I self medicated with weed and booze a lot, but after a few months I quit everything. I don't even consume caffeine anymore (found out all that adderall gave me a fucking anuerysm in my aorta at the ripe old age of 27, so I quit nicotine and caffeine as soon as I got the news) Anyways nowadays I just power through the ADHD. I feel like I kinda suck at my job but still getting good performance reviews so, not that bad I guess. I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on. I started working out doing calisthenics 3 days a week and it is kinda the cornerstone of my life at the moment. it anchors everything I do pretty much.
  - hirvi74 2y ago
    I admire your conviction. Honestly, I probably should do something similar, but I am too afraid to do it. Like you said prior, the meds helped you focus a little at work, and to me, that is one of the few benefits I get too. However, it's enough that I am probably willing to destroy my body over it. Is it worth it? Probably not, but I am not sure what other choices I have. I think one of the sinister and most beneficial aspects of medication is something I liken to time-traveling. I work in a cubicle farm as a dev. No windows, artificial light, and tons of noise all around. Unmedicated me would probably be fired or would just walk out within a day or two. However, this is where the time-traveling helps me. Just pop the pills, and time seems to evaporate before my very eyes. Hours can feel like minutes, and the next thing I know the day is over (long bouts of hyperfocus in other words). Am I productive during these times? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it doesn't matter. It makes the boring life I have confined myself to go by quicker. > I self medicated with weed and booze a lot Opposite order for me, and I didn't start them until after being medicated, ironically. I try to drink less now, and have been alright at that, but I think weed is one of the only things keeping me going right now. It allows me to be calm and present and not feel like I have to be constantly doing something. I can actually watch an entire TV from start to finish! It's not without its negatives, for sure, but nothing in life is. > I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on On and off meds, I have always struggled with this. I apparently have no issues developing bad habits, but I am incapable of developing good habits. The second something derails my habits, then it takes an insurmountable amount of effort and motivation to start back up again. Have you found anything to combat this?
pizzadog 2y ago
I hardly post here but I just wanted to say that this is also my experience exactly. Addies were a godsend at first, I was able to succeed at school and dedicated hobbies for the first time in my goddamn life, but after the honeymoon phase (6-8 months) I was struggling with a really bizarre addiction to porn and media. Granted the effects on my grades were still present but it felt like a whole house of cards just waiting to fall apart. It's terrifying because at that point you don't want to trade the small amount of executive control you've gained for anything so experimenting with other medication feels risky. I envy that you were able to go cold turkey off it and still find success in your life, I truly don't feel like I can succeed without the meds but I hate the demon that they've awakened in me.
- DontchaKnowit 2y ago
  Dude its legitimately the best decision ive ever made in my life. I went from being a complete loner shut in weirdo to having a very fulfilling life within 2 years. In fact I just got engaged. If you feel like amphetamines are fucking you up, you gotta just send it and get off em

cbsmith 2y ago

> I guess it depends on the treatment, but amphetamine based adhd treatment was for me, the fucking devil. Fortunately, we now have options other than amphetamines, but yes, in general, like most diseases, ADHD is categorized by symptoms, not really causes, and so lots of treatments that work wonderfully for some people with ADHD are literally the worst thing for other people with ADHD.

moltar 2y ago
What are the new options? Thank you.
- cbsmith 2y ago
  So, on the medication side, there are NRIs (norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor) and alpha-2A agonists. The latter in particular work kind of the opposite of stimulants. A psychiatrists described the difference to me with the metaphor of a sound system where you're having trouble listening to the music. The stimulants are amplifiers that push up the volume. The other approach is a better preamp that does a better job reducing the noise. Depending on the nature of your problem, one is going to help a lot, and the other is going to be useless at best, but could well make the problem worse. I presume you're aware of the other non-pharmaceutical interventions, like CBT. Generally they don't have as high a success rate, but that doesn't mean that they aren't be the right solution for you.
- musiciangames 2y ago
  I found Modafinil really helped. Had to persuade my consultant to prescribe it 'off-label', it's approved for narcolepsy.
  - DontchaKnowit 2y ago
    fwiw, I'm pretty sure you can get mopafinil and adrafinil (or at least one of the two) online grey-market pretty easily

drekk 2y ago

This is how I found out I had both ADHD and bipolar.

hirvi74 2y ago
Type one or two? That's how I was misdiagnosed as bipolar-II. I have unipolar depression, but the high dosage of amphetamines I was on had me tweaking apparently. Once my dosage was drastically reduced, I had no issues other than normal depression ever again. You would think taking me off the medication/reducing the dosage would have been the first step in diagnosing such a condition, but we're talking about the two most pseudoscientific fields of science/medicine, so perhaps I was wrong to trust them.
DontchaKnowit 2y ago
what do you mean by that

_yb2s 2y ago

Adderall was a nightmare for me as well, but methylphenidate (ritalin) seems to have no adverse effects I can notice at all. It helps, but seemingly only with other regular life things and not really with work. Ironically, I am much better at paying attention while doing hobbies and housework but don’t find it easier to start work.

hirvi74 2y ago

Did you find something that worked because you have literally just described what I have been struggling with all these years. Everything was great in the beginning, but that slowly started to fade away as time progressed, and like you said, the demons started to come out.

DontchaKnowit 2y ago
I just emailed my doctor and told him to never prescribe to me again because I'm an addict and can't control myself around amphetamines. So now I am off everything totally. At first I self medicated with weed and booze a lot, but after a few months I quit everything. I don't even consume caffeine anymore (found out all that adderall gave me a fucking anuerysm in my aorta at the ripe old age of 27, so I quit nicotine and caffeine as soon as I got the news) Anyways nowadays I just power through the ADHD. I feel like I kinda suck at my job but still getting good performance reviews so, not that bad I guess. I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on. I started working out doing calisthenics 3 days a week and it is kinda the cornerstone of my life at the moment. it anchors everything I do pretty much.
- hirvi74 2y ago
  I admire your conviction. Honestly, I probably should do something similar, but I am too afraid to do it. Like you said prior, the meds helped you focus a little at work, and to me, that is one of the few benefits I get too. However, it's enough that I am probably willing to destroy my body over it. Is it worth it? Probably not, but I am not sure what other choices I have. I think one of the sinister and most beneficial aspects of medication is something I liken to time-traveling. I work in a cubicle farm as a dev. No windows, artificial light, and tons of noise all around. Unmedicated me would probably be fired or would just walk out within a day or two. However, this is where the time-traveling helps me. Just pop the pills, and time seems to evaporate before my very eyes. Hours can feel like minutes, and the next thing I know the day is over (long bouts of hyperfocus in other words). Am I productive during these times? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it doesn't matter. It makes the boring life I have confined myself to go by quicker. > I self medicated with weed and booze a lot Opposite order for me, and I didn't start them until after being medicated, ironically. I try to drink less now, and have been alright at that, but I think weed is one of the only things keeping me going right now. It allows me to be calm and present and not feel like I have to be constantly doing something. I can actually watch an entire TV from start to finish! It's not without its negatives, for sure, but nothing in life is. > I would recommend focusing as hard as possible on building habits that you can rely on On and off meds, I have always struggled with this. I apparently have no issues developing bad habits, but I am incapable of developing good habits. The second something derails my habits, then it takes an insurmountable amount of effort and motivation to start back up again. Have you found anything to combat this?

pizzadog 2y ago

I hardly post here but I just wanted to say that this is also my experience exactly. Addies were a godsend at first, I was able to succeed at school and dedicated hobbies for the first time in my goddamn life, but after the honeymoon phase (6-8 months) I was struggling with a really bizarre addiction to porn and media. Granted the effects on my grades were still present but it felt like a whole house of cards just waiting to fall apart. It's terrifying because at that point you don't want to trade the small amount of executive control you've gained for anything so experimenting with other medication feels risky. I envy that you were able to go cold turkey off it and still find success in your life, I truly don't feel like I can succeed without the meds but I hate the demon that they've awakened in me.

DontchaKnowit 2y ago
Dude its legitimately the best decision ive ever made in my life. I went from being a complete loner shut in weirdo to having a very fulfilling life within 2 years. In fact I just got engaged. If you feel like amphetamines are fucking you up, you gotta just send it and get off em