4 ms·

Simplify your life, go cheap and use extra time to both reduce stress and spend less time in stressful situations. I’m probably an undiagnosed ASD and that’s w

by mantas 2y ago

Simplify your life, go cheap and use extra time to both reduce stress and spend less time in stressful situations. I’m probably an undiagnosed ASD and that’s what I ended up doing and plan to take to more extreme level as life situation allows. Fancy stuff and „fitting in“ is not worth it.

hirvi74 2y ago
I am starting to come to this same conclusion. What is the point in playing the game if you can't win? If I accomplish all my goals and fulfill my ambitions, then what? I can just be like Ozymandias?
- s1artibartfast 2y ago
  It is interesting to see so many people wrestling with this question. I think it is a break through moment for a lot of people to realize that you get one life and get to spend it however you choose. There are no rules, only tradeoffs. You can be a beach bum in South America, or a hermit goat farmer.
  - hirvi74 2y ago
    The reward center of my brain is probably all kinds of jacked up, so perhaps people get something from these accomplishments that I do not. However, I agree with you. I have noticed this sentiment is leaking into even otherwise health individuals too -- mainly Gen Z and younger. I guess society is heading towards some massive existential crisis. If AI eventually meets the predictions that some people have, then perhaps the issue will only get worse too.
    - s1artibartfast 2y ago
      Im not sure I follow, but I think there is something about it related to either age or generation. It seems like a lot of people are going through life on autopilot without thinking about what they really want, questioning what makes them happy, and ending up very dissatisfied with the results. I think there is something powerful about feeling like you chose the life you are living among the options available.
      - hirvi74 2y ago
        No worries, I know I am hard to follow. Anyway, I think you are absolutely correct. Honestly, what you wrote is an apt description of me. I am in my early 30s, thus all I can truly write about is what I have experienced in my generation. I feel like I was raised to treat life in an algorithmic sense. If one wants a good life, then as long as he or she follows the given path, then happiness awaits. You know -- be a good person, stay in school, don't do drugs, don't get in trouble, work hard, go to college, get a good job, find a partner and settle down, etc.. Any deviation from the plan was more or less a death sentence -- get in trouble? Congratulations, you threw your life away. Bad grades => no college => "put the fries in the bag." Obviously, we were somewhat encouraged to follow our dreams. Want to be a rockstar or a professional athlete? Great, but make sure you still stick to the path because if/when your dream likely fails, then at least you have something to fall back on. So, what did I do? I followed the path the best I could have at the time. What were my results? Well, I make more money the median household income in the US, still technically under six-figures, but I work in the public sector (gov), so it's not the best place for high compensation. What else do I have? Well, I have a romantic relationship with a longterm girlfriend that is kind in a rough patch that we will hopefully work through, I have virtually no friends, no hobbies, no goals, no ambitions, I take "medication" during the day and use cannabis at night to offset the medication's effects just so I am semi-functional enough to work a job that I have grown to hate with every fiber of my being. So yeah, I did not think my life would end up this way. I suppose I theoretically have to powers to change it, but what do I change it to? I have no idea what I want, I do not know what will make me happy, and I am afraid of whatever changes I make will lead to the same dissatisfying results. So, I am basically just living my life one day at a time until I meet my end. Does any of that make any sense?
- locopati 2y ago
  there's no winning. have you seen the people who are supposedly "winning"?
  - hirvi74 2y ago
    What I said was merely an expression. In more literal terms, "Why work hard when hard work yields little to no results?" Basically, learned helplessness in a nutshell. At face value, I think I could potentially accomplish meaningful things. I am not trying to change to the world, but I could be better at my craft, a better employee, be healthier, etc.. Sadly, the only thing truly stopping me is myself. Believe me, I've been trying to change myself my entire life, and nothing has ever worked. Of course, many would say that I should just accept myself. However, it has always been difficult when others do not accept me.
hasbot 2y ago
> Simplify your life, go cheap and use extra time to both reduce stress and spend less time in stressful situations. That was my dream too when I retired from computer programming 10 years ago. I got bored. I was good at programming and now no longer have anything challenging or interesting in my life. Really programming was the only thing I was good at. So now most of my day is either doing something I'm not really good at, or challenged by, or procrastinating to avoid doing something I'm not really good at or interested in. I haven't given up yet.
- mantas 2y ago
  Why reture from programming? Personally I don’t see programming itself stressful at all. In fact, it’s very relaxing. It is the human side of holding a job, or worse, working at office. Minimize human side, maximize programming and it’s a win in my books.
  - hasbot 2y ago
    A lot of things changed in 28 years, including me, and I wasn't enjoying the job anymore. After a while, coding wasn't that interesting any more.
_yb2s 2y ago
I fantasize about this a lot- I managed to have a successful career despite ADHD, but worry that the stress isn’t sustainable. I don’t desire money, recognition, or physical comfort and am happier hiking in the wilderness or at sea in a tiny boat than in a comfortable home or at a desk. However, my work is important, interesting, and gives me a sense of purpose. I also have a family to support. The best compromise I can come up with right now, is to live frugally so I can retire early or scale back hours as soon as my son is grown. He also has ADHD, so I am conscious of wanting to set an example for him as well, which includes taking care of myself and not destroying my health to desperately meet others impossible expectations of me.
- mantas 2y ago
  IMO it’s better to optimise for today than retirement that may never come. I work on a relaxed software project probably taking a good hit on my salary. My days are relatively little stress. I’ve plenty of time to spend with my son. If I end up working in this or similar projects till very late days - I’m fine. Even if I retired, I’d probably end up doing something similar to what I do now. Just in case - I work from home. Never worked in a proper office in my 2 decades long career.

by mantas 2y ago

hirvi74 2y ago

I am starting to come to this same conclusion. What is the point in playing the game if you can't win? If I accomplish all my goals and fulfill my ambitions, then what? I can just be like Ozymandias?

s1artibartfast 2y ago
It is interesting to see so many people wrestling with this question. I think it is a break through moment for a lot of people to realize that you get one life and get to spend it however you choose. There are no rules, only tradeoffs. You can be a beach bum in South America, or a hermit goat farmer.
- hirvi74 2y ago
  The reward center of my brain is probably all kinds of jacked up, so perhaps people get something from these accomplishments that I do not. However, I agree with you. I have noticed this sentiment is leaking into even otherwise health individuals too -- mainly Gen Z and younger. I guess society is heading towards some massive existential crisis. If AI eventually meets the predictions that some people have, then perhaps the issue will only get worse too.
  - s1artibartfast 2y ago
    Im not sure I follow, but I think there is something about it related to either age or generation. It seems like a lot of people are going through life on autopilot without thinking about what they really want, questioning what makes them happy, and ending up very dissatisfied with the results. I think there is something powerful about feeling like you chose the life you are living among the options available.
    - hirvi74 2y ago
      No worries, I know I am hard to follow. Anyway, I think you are absolutely correct. Honestly, what you wrote is an apt description of me. I am in my early 30s, thus all I can truly write about is what I have experienced in my generation. I feel like I was raised to treat life in an algorithmic sense. If one wants a good life, then as long as he or she follows the given path, then happiness awaits. You know -- be a good person, stay in school, don't do drugs, don't get in trouble, work hard, go to college, get a good job, find a partner and settle down, etc.. Any deviation from the plan was more or less a death sentence -- get in trouble? Congratulations, you threw your life away. Bad grades => no college => "put the fries in the bag." Obviously, we were somewhat encouraged to follow our dreams. Want to be a rockstar or a professional athlete? Great, but make sure you still stick to the path because if/when your dream likely fails, then at least you have something to fall back on. So, what did I do? I followed the path the best I could have at the time. What were my results? Well, I make more money the median household income in the US, still technically under six-figures, but I work in the public sector (gov), so it's not the best place for high compensation. What else do I have? Well, I have a romantic relationship with a longterm girlfriend that is kind in a rough patch that we will hopefully work through, I have virtually no friends, no hobbies, no goals, no ambitions, I take "medication" during the day and use cannabis at night to offset the medication's effects just so I am semi-functional enough to work a job that I have grown to hate with every fiber of my being. So yeah, I did not think my life would end up this way. I suppose I theoretically have to powers to change it, but what do I change it to? I have no idea what I want, I do not know what will make me happy, and I am afraid of whatever changes I make will lead to the same dissatisfying results. So, I am basically just living my life one day at a time until I meet my end. Does any of that make any sense?
locopati 2y ago
there's no winning. have you seen the people who are supposedly "winning"?
- hirvi74 2y ago
  What I said was merely an expression. In more literal terms, "Why work hard when hard work yields little to no results?" Basically, learned helplessness in a nutshell. At face value, I think I could potentially accomplish meaningful things. I am not trying to change to the world, but I could be better at my craft, a better employee, be healthier, etc.. Sadly, the only thing truly stopping me is myself. Believe me, I've been trying to change myself my entire life, and nothing has ever worked. Of course, many would say that I should just accept myself. However, it has always been difficult when others do not accept me.

hasbot 2y ago

> Simplify your life, go cheap and use extra time to both reduce stress and spend less time in stressful situations. That was my dream too when I retired from computer programming 10 years ago. I got bored. I was good at programming and now no longer have anything challenging or interesting in my life. Really programming was the only thing I was good at. So now most of my day is either doing something I'm not really good at, or challenged by, or procrastinating to avoid doing something I'm not really good at or interested in. I haven't given up yet.

mantas 2y ago
Why reture from programming? Personally I don’t see programming itself stressful at all. In fact, it’s very relaxing. It is the human side of holding a job, or worse, working at office. Minimize human side, maximize programming and it’s a win in my books.
- hasbot 2y ago
  A lot of things changed in 28 years, including me, and I wasn't enjoying the job anymore. After a while, coding wasn't that interesting any more.

_yb2s 2y ago

I fantasize about this a lot- I managed to have a successful career despite ADHD, but worry that the stress isn’t sustainable. I don’t desire money, recognition, or physical comfort and am happier hiking in the wilderness or at sea in a tiny boat than in a comfortable home or at a desk. However, my work is important, interesting, and gives me a sense of purpose. I also have a family to support. The best compromise I can come up with right now, is to live frugally so I can retire early or scale back hours as soon as my son is grown. He also has ADHD, so I am conscious of wanting to set an example for him as well, which includes taking care of myself and not destroying my health to desperately meet others impossible expectations of me.

mantas 2y ago
IMO it’s better to optimise for today than retirement that may never come. I work on a relaxed software project probably taking a good hit on my salary. My days are relatively little stress. I’ve plenty of time to spend with my son. If I end up working in this or similar projects till very late days - I’m fine. Even if I retired, I’d probably end up doing something similar to what I do now. Just in case - I work from home. Never worked in a proper office in my 2 decades long career.