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Interpreting a difficult event in terms that allow you to move on is not “copium”. we all do it all the time to explain our mistakes and weakness regardless of

Interpreting a difficult event in terms that allow you to move on is not “copium”. we all do it all the time to explain our mistakes and weakness regardless of religion. I don’t think any of these people are saying “I’m so glad my kids are dead” they are saying they are able to see these unfortunate events in a bigger picture. What you may be looking for is “sour grapes” - something that was previously desired is now not viewed as highly after failing to obtain it.

scarface_74 2y ago
And not being willing to admit your mistakes and assess your weaknesses means that you continuously make the same mistakes. Of course I’m not saying in my original anecdote that people getting killed from a natural disaster was preventable. In the appropriate threads, I have posted right here what I learned from my many mistakes - marrying the wrong person (since remarried), staying at my second job too long and becoming an “expert beginner” (I’ve done decently for myself since then), failed in real estate around 2008 (since recovered), etc. You can look at some of my “favorited comments”. This isn’t bitterness. At 50, I am where I want to be. But if you had asked the 35 year old me - divorced, negative net worth, shitty job with out of date skillset, etc. I wouldn’t have put on a happy face and say I’m not a failure.
- dowager_dan99 2y ago
  >> This isn’t bitterness. At 50, I am where I want to be. But if you had asked the 35 year old me - divorced, negative net worth, shitty job with out of date skillset, etc. I wouldn’t have put on a happy face and say I’m not a failure. The GP didn't say they thought it was a success at the time; quite the opposite. Aren't you basically saying the same thing, only with a different timeline?
  - scarface_74 2y ago
    This is how the submitted author ends his post > I grew a lot. And I think my current happiness stems mainly from the fact that I like the person I've become, someone who can fail again and again and again and again and still find a way, for the most part, to be happy. He didn’t say that his current happiness and success comes from the lessons he learned. It’s more like the lady who lost five kids and kept her faith because it was that God was good to save one not thinking if that were the case was he good for letting the other five die? (see also the biblical story of Job) Without going into details (again look at my favorited comments if interested, I’m not trying to hide the details), what I learned from my failures is why I think I’m not a failure now - ie I achieved the goals I wanted to achieve - was a direct result of learning from my previous marriage and divorce, doing what is needed to not be an expert beginner - I got my first only and hopefully last job at BigTech at 46 (no longer there) - and was much smarter about my finances.

scarface_74 2y ago

And not being willing to admit your mistakes and assess your weaknesses means that you continuously make the same mistakes. Of course I’m not saying in my original anecdote that people getting killed from a natural disaster was preventable. In the appropriate threads, I have posted right here what I learned from my many mistakes - marrying the wrong person (since remarried), staying at my second job too long and becoming an “expert beginner” (I’ve done decently for myself since then), failed in real estate around 2008 (since recovered), etc. You can look at some of my “favorited comments”. This isn’t bitterness. At 50, I am where I want to be. But if you had asked the 35 year old me - divorced, negative net worth, shitty job with out of date skillset, etc. I wouldn’t have put on a happy face and say I’m not a failure.

dowager_dan99 2y ago
>> This isn’t bitterness. At 50, I am where I want to be. But if you had asked the 35 year old me - divorced, negative net worth, shitty job with out of date skillset, etc. I wouldn’t have put on a happy face and say I’m not a failure. The GP didn't say they thought it was a success at the time; quite the opposite. Aren't you basically saying the same thing, only with a different timeline?
- scarface_74 2y ago
  This is how the submitted author ends his post > I grew a lot. And I think my current happiness stems mainly from the fact that I like the person I've become, someone who can fail again and again and again and again and still find a way, for the most part, to be happy. He didn’t say that his current happiness and success comes from the lessons he learned. It’s more like the lady who lost five kids and kept her faith because it was that God was good to save one not thinking if that were the case was he good for letting the other five die? (see also the biblical story of Job) Without going into details (again look at my favorited comments if interested, I’m not trying to hide the details), what I learned from my failures is why I think I’m not a failure now - ie I achieved the goals I wanted to achieve - was a direct result of learning from my previous marriage and divorce, doing what is needed to not be an expert beginner - I got my first only and hopefully last job at BigTech at 46 (no longer there) - and was much smarter about my finances.