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> Growing up, I had two major life ambitions: to become a tenured university professor, and to found a successful startup company. why the hell those two? I e

> Growing up, I had two major life ambitions: to become a tenured university professor, and to found a successful startup company. why the hell those two? I eventually - into my thirties- worked out that i wanted to be a good computer programmer, and a good photographer. managed the first, but not the tatter - two bored. What I mean, is why did you have those ambitions growing up. I don't think most normal young people really can't think what they want to do until later in their lives.

MattPalmer1086 2y ago
> why the hell those two? I would guess to be free to pursue interesting ideas, and then make money off them.
- zabzonk 2y ago
  why tenured? (I can't be sacked?). why startup? (well, why at all, but also cannot easily be sacked, should the startup actually work). just my opinion, and not to badmouth, but this sounds like a somewhat insecure person.
  - dasil003 2y ago
    That's a weird take, he's talking about youthful ambitions. Tenured professor is a pretty standard bar for academic success, and startup us shorthand for building a scalable tech company from scratch. These seem like perfectly cromulent ambitions to me, not sure how insecurity enters into it or why I would care if it did.
  - motoxpro 2y ago
    It's just a success metric + an activity Tenured (metric) + professor (activity). He defined his, same as you did: Good (metric) + programmer (activity) The activity is just what people find interesting and the metric is what you strive toward. Imposing the idea that the only reason you pursue originality is so that they can't get sacked is a very wild take.
lisper 2y ago
> why the hell those two? Good question. I could probably write an entire essay about that but the TL;DR is that I thought that tenure and financial independence were the roads to freedom, which is what I really wanted. I also really liked (and still do) the college vibe, being surrounded by interesting people thinking and talking about interesting and weird stuff.
- nolamark 2y ago
  I do hope you write the entire entire essay. Guess my question is did you have any plans what to do with that freedom? Or did the vision just stop with freedom? Must be I was less ambitious than you. I too started out with goal of tenure and financial independence. 3 years in on tenure track I figured it was easier just to get financial independence and give myself tenure than to play someone's game. One I reached financial independence (probably a much lower threshold than your), I didn't have any trouble find trouble finding things to fill my days with fulfilling activities that I had long put off. Always fun stuff to learn. So interested to learn if it was that you still had something you felt you had to prove? Just plan inertia? Can really put my finger on it, but what if in "I am (not) a failure" essay in addition "Lesson Learned" for each attempt, you had a "Joy Experienced" (perhaps too corny) section as well.
  - lisper 2y ago
    > did you have any plans what to do with that freedom? Yes. I was going to solve really hard problems without any pointy-haired bosses standing in my way. I was specifically going to solve AI. > So interested to learn if it was that you still had something you felt you had to prove? It started out that way, but now I've ended up feeling like I gave it my best shot, and so I failed because I discovered my own limitations rather than any external circumstances (with the notable exception of Smart Charter). And I'm OK with that. > what if ... you had a "Joy Experienced" (perhaps too corny) section as well. What I find has given me the biggest dopamine rush over the years is getting something to work, especially after beating on it for a long time. And that includes small wins like fixing a bug in personal code that no one is ever going to see, or fixing something around the house, or getting something I've written on the front page of HN and seeing it well-received. The best way I can think of to characterize it is that I like to feel useful. I don't think I'm alone in that.

MattPalmer1086 2y ago

> why the hell those two? I would guess to be free to pursue interesting ideas, and then make money off them.

zabzonk 2y ago
why tenured? (I can't be sacked?). why startup? (well, why at all, but also cannot easily be sacked, should the startup actually work). just my opinion, and not to badmouth, but this sounds like a somewhat insecure person.
- dasil003 2y ago
  That's a weird take, he's talking about youthful ambitions. Tenured professor is a pretty standard bar for academic success, and startup us shorthand for building a scalable tech company from scratch. These seem like perfectly cromulent ambitions to me, not sure how insecurity enters into it or why I would care if it did.
- motoxpro 2y ago
  It's just a success metric + an activity Tenured (metric) + professor (activity). He defined his, same as you did: Good (metric) + programmer (activity) The activity is just what people find interesting and the metric is what you strive toward. Imposing the idea that the only reason you pursue originality is so that they can't get sacked is a very wild take.

lisper 2y ago

> why the hell those two? Good question. I could probably write an entire essay about that but the TL;DR is that I thought that tenure and financial independence were the roads to freedom, which is what I really wanted. I also really liked (and still do) the college vibe, being surrounded by interesting people thinking and talking about interesting and weird stuff.

nolamark 2y ago
I do hope you write the entire entire essay. Guess my question is did you have any plans what to do with that freedom? Or did the vision just stop with freedom? Must be I was less ambitious than you. I too started out with goal of tenure and financial independence. 3 years in on tenure track I figured it was easier just to get financial independence and give myself tenure than to play someone's game. One I reached financial independence (probably a much lower threshold than your), I didn't have any trouble find trouble finding things to fill my days with fulfilling activities that I had long put off. Always fun stuff to learn. So interested to learn if it was that you still had something you felt you had to prove? Just plan inertia? Can really put my finger on it, but what if in "I am (not) a failure" essay in addition "Lesson Learned" for each attempt, you had a "Joy Experienced" (perhaps too corny) section as well.
- lisper 2y ago
  > did you have any plans what to do with that freedom? Yes. I was going to solve really hard problems without any pointy-haired bosses standing in my way. I was specifically going to solve AI. > So interested to learn if it was that you still had something you felt you had to prove? It started out that way, but now I've ended up feeling like I gave it my best shot, and so I failed because I discovered my own limitations rather than any external circumstances (with the notable exception of Smart Charter). And I'm OK with that. > what if ... you had a "Joy Experienced" (perhaps too corny) section as well. What I find has given me the biggest dopamine rush over the years is getting something to work, especially after beating on it for a long time. And that includes small wins like fixing a bug in personal code that no one is ever going to see, or fixing something around the house, or getting something I've written on the front page of HN and seeing it well-received. The best way I can think of to characterize it is that I like to feel useful. I don't think I'm alone in that.