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By the way... as helpful as you've been here, I thought I should let you know you come off as rude and arrogant, in case you aren't aware of it. I'm not persona

By the way... as helpful as you've been here, I thought I should let you know you come off as rude and arrogant, in case you aren't aware of it. I'm not personally offended at all, but the "naive" and "fortunately for you" comments are the type of thing that can make people ignore the substance of what you're saying, which I doubt is your intent. I know this sort of interpersonal navigation can be a pain in the butt.

zahlman 2y ago
It wouldn't be at all the first time I've heard it. Thanks for the specific hints. A fair amount of the time, I do notice that my writing could have an unintended, uncharitable reading like that, but I either can't think of a good way to improve it or (more commonly) just don't feel responsible for doing so. Tone of voice is notoriously hard to communicate; even explicit markers (such as smilies) are often more easily interpreted as sarcastic or insincere. I especially don't like adding a lot of words to try to avoid giving that impression - because when other people do it, I often feel like they're wasting my time with all the extra words I have to read. (But of course, they don't know that I was already willing to read them charitably....)
- fmbb 2y ago
  You are of course not responsible for typing out nice messages. Just like nobody is responsible for reading what you write. :) It may be of interest if you want more people to look at Paper or bbbb though. But that may also not be what you want, or attract users you don’t want. We all make software for a variety of reasons!
- jedberg 2y ago
  > I either can't think of a good way to improve it or (more commonly) just don't feel responsible for doing so. Change naive to beginner in all your writing. Naive brings a negative connotation with it always (unless you truly intend to insult the other person). And you could just drop "fortunately for you" since it adds nothing to the statement and technically takes longer to write than just dropping it.
  - zahlman 2y ago
    I feel like "beginner" is at least as insulting, especially if it turns out not to be accurate. But the point is well taken - I tend to overthink this instead of just making simple changes.
- meiraleal 2y ago
  If you change "Fortunately for you ..." for "I routinely search HN for", nobody would need to read it *extra* charitably.

zahlman 2y ago

It wouldn't be at all the first time I've heard it. Thanks for the specific hints. A fair amount of the time, I do notice that my writing could have an unintended, uncharitable reading like that, but I either can't think of a good way to improve it or (more commonly) just don't feel responsible for doing so. Tone of voice is notoriously hard to communicate; even explicit markers (such as smilies) are often more easily interpreted as sarcastic or insincere. I especially don't like adding a lot of words to try to avoid giving that impression - because when other people do it, I often feel like they're wasting my time with all the extra words I have to read. (But of course, they don't know that I was already willing to read them charitably....)

fmbb 2y ago
You are of course not responsible for typing out nice messages. Just like nobody is responsible for reading what you write. :) It may be of interest if you want more people to look at Paper or bbbb though. But that may also not be what you want, or attract users you don’t want. We all make software for a variety of reasons!
jedberg 2y ago
> I either can't think of a good way to improve it or (more commonly) just don't feel responsible for doing so. Change naive to beginner in all your writing. Naive brings a negative connotation with it always (unless you truly intend to insult the other person). And you could just drop "fortunately for you" since it adds nothing to the statement and technically takes longer to write than just dropping it.
- zahlman 2y ago
  I feel like "beginner" is at least as insulting, especially if it turns out not to be accurate. But the point is well taken - I tend to overthink this instead of just making simple changes.
meiraleal 2y ago
If you change "Fortunately for you ..." for "I routinely search HN for", nobody would need to read it *extra* charitably.