2 ms·

I'm a reasonably successful software developer in my thirties, successful founder of a well-known company in a certain industry. (And a 4-digit karma on HN.) I'

I'm a reasonably successful software developer in my thirties, successful founder of a well-known company in a certain industry. (And a 4-digit karma on HN.) I'm also an opiate addict; I've been using for over 5 years. Not IV, just OxyContin (time release oxycodone). I've also been diagnosed bipolar I[1]. Opiates allow me to conquer depression and major stress. Working at a company, with massive investment, several employees, and need to keep coding, keep morale up, lead a development team? Opiates turn what would be crushing stress and keep me positive so I can focus on getting stuff done. But could I tell our board about how I cope? Hell no. There are many more folks in my position. Junkies give us opiate users a bad name, just like meth-heads make stimulant users look bad[2]. So, it's just not acceptable to mention usage, even when it's OK to say how "I'll really need a drink tonight" or even take smoke breaks during work. Which is funny, as opiates have very little heath side-effects (obviously overdose, but after that, constipation is the only real issue). And yes, I've opted out several times. Once, like Paul Erdos, I decided to prove to someone that I could, and took a whole month off. Despite being on the equivalent of ~100-200mg of morphine a day, it was not very hard. (Sure, if you start IV'ing heroin, things might be different.) Overall, I decided I do better with opiates than without. Any excuses that remove stigma and get society closer to rational discussion on drugs is an overall win. 1: Opiates are one thing that really work for depression. Mood stabilisers that all doctors want to prescribe leave me content to do nothing - literally. On them, staring at a wall all day is "just fine". Zombification. 2: Except most folks seem to think "meth" is some crazy other drug, not related to what they give hyperactive kids. No one seems to know meth is a legal prescription medication in the US. But then again, most folks don't know Heroin was a trademark of Bayer (name goes with Aspirin).

crag 14y ago
"There are many more folks in my position." Us humans (other animals as well, by the way) have been self medicating ourselves for - ever really. Michael Pollen wrote about this in "The Botany of Desire". His brilliant look at our relationship with four plants that we use to treat our "fundamental desires" of "sweetness, beauty, intoxication, and control": the apple, the tulip, marijuana, and the potato. Intoxication. We can expand it's list, of course, to include poppies, and the coca plants. Our problem is that many abuse these. The people of South America have been chewing the leaves of the Cocoa plants for thousands of years. Without addiction destroying their societies. We need these plants. And mother nature was good enough to provide them. :) But we also need education. And in American, we'd rather "just say no". Then be honest about being a human being and our need for intoxication. And when I write intoxication I don't mean falling down drunk. That's certainly part of it - to have a moment of rest outside our our heads. But it's also, like the post above stated - to conquer depression, stress and (I'll add) anxiety.
jamesbritt 14y ago
Opiates are one thing that really work for depression. Pretty sure that depends on the underlying neurochemical reason for the depression. Norepinephrine and Dopamine-related drugs (typically associated with speed) are what helped my depression. One of the tricky things about treatment for mental illness is that things that may appear the same on the surface can vary greatly from person to person as to the root cause (and hence proper treatment).
tthhrroww 14y ago
For me it's a mental health issue. If you are suffering no clear detriments you should be able to determine what improves your quality of life. Despite having lost family to both alcohol and opiates I'm not opposed to self-medication. Personally, watch out for long term health effects and of when you are particularly vulnerable to increase usage. Socially, I wish self-medicators dealt with doctors and therapists by default instead of dealers and police.
anewguy 14y ago
Psilocybin does wonders for me, one dose keeps me positive for three months or so.
deleted 14y ago
[deleted]
dedward 14y ago
I won't judge, everyone is different, but the real test will be your quality of life at the end. Based on your description, I'm not sure I'd call you an addict at this point, not in the classical sense, you seem to be choosing to use, not using because you need it to stave off withdrawal symptoms, above all else. And while you may be one of those exceptions, those edge cases that can choose and walk away, it's important for people to understand that everyone can't do that, and you can't know in advance whether or not you'll end up an addict, in some way or another, for the rest of your life tangling with that stuff. Yes, there should be focus on harm reduction rather than jail time. Yes, the stigma should go away... booze is as bad or worse than other things that are far more stigmatized. But let's not pretend drugs are all great happy awesome things. Addicts do end up completely screwed up and dead on clean pharma drugs.... every day. Let's not pretend it's safe and happy. Yes, it's true, most of the damage from opiate addiction is due to it's legal status... there's always the risk of overdose with higher doses. Opiates work for your case, that's great - but statistically unlikely as a remedy for the general public. Most people with depression who end up using opiates and/or other drugs end up more screwed up in the long run. Whether a drug is related or not doesn't matter... weak opiates are useful wheras strong ones can be srongly addictive, or lethal. Weak short-acting benzodiazepines, like what's in Ambien are far less likely to cause you addiction requiring hospitalized withdrawal so you don't die compared to say, long term use of longer and stronger drugs that are almost identical (thinking xanax, valium) Street meth his horrid shit, and while closely related to the amphetamine salts used for adhd kids, is horrificly addictive and extremely bad for your health - that's comparing playing with matches to playing with hand grenades. Sure, if you take enough adderall or related, that's prone to abuse and addiction, but it's nothing compared to what crystal meth does to your body and mind. Just because drug companies made mistakes in the past is no reason to toss caution to the wind. You were diagnosed Bipolar, that's something you have to deal with; I can't claim to understand it, so if what you are doing makes your life truly better for you, then I see no problem, but for the vast majority of people, that's not the usual outcome.

crag 14y ago

"There are many more folks in my position." Us humans (other animals as well, by the way) have been self medicating ourselves for - ever really. Michael Pollen wrote about this in "The Botany of Desire". His brilliant look at our relationship with four plants that we use to treat our "fundamental desires" of "sweetness, beauty, intoxication, and control": the apple, the tulip, marijuana, and the potato. Intoxication. We can expand it's list, of course, to include poppies, and the coca plants. Our problem is that many abuse these. The people of South America have been chewing the leaves of the Cocoa plants for thousands of years. Without addiction destroying their societies. We need these plants. And mother nature was good enough to provide them. :) But we also need education. And in American, we'd rather "just say no". Then be honest about being a human being and our need for intoxication. And when I write intoxication I don't mean falling down drunk. That's certainly part of it - to have a moment of rest outside our our heads. But it's also, like the post above stated - to conquer depression, stress and (I'll add) anxiety.

jamesbritt 14y ago

Opiates are one thing that really work for depression. Pretty sure that depends on the underlying neurochemical reason for the depression. Norepinephrine and Dopamine-related drugs (typically associated with speed) are what helped my depression. One of the tricky things about treatment for mental illness is that things that may appear the same on the surface can vary greatly from person to person as to the root cause (and hence proper treatment).

tthhrroww 14y ago

For me it's a mental health issue. If you are suffering no clear detriments you should be able to determine what improves your quality of life. Despite having lost family to both alcohol and opiates I'm not opposed to self-medication. Personally, watch out for long term health effects and of when you are particularly vulnerable to increase usage. Socially, I wish self-medicators dealt with doctors and therapists by default instead of dealers and police.

anewguy 14y ago

Psilocybin does wonders for me, one dose keeps me positive for three months or so.

deleted 14y ago

[deleted]

dedward 14y ago

I won't judge, everyone is different, but the real test will be your quality of life at the end. Based on your description, I'm not sure I'd call you an addict at this point, not in the classical sense, you seem to be choosing to use, not using because you need it to stave off withdrawal symptoms, above all else. And while you may be one of those exceptions, those edge cases that can choose and walk away, it's important for people to understand that everyone can't do that, and you can't know in advance whether or not you'll end up an addict, in some way or another, for the rest of your life tangling with that stuff. Yes, there should be focus on harm reduction rather than jail time. Yes, the stigma should go away... booze is as bad or worse than other things that are far more stigmatized. But let's not pretend drugs are all great happy awesome things. Addicts do end up completely screwed up and dead on clean pharma drugs.... every day. Let's not pretend it's safe and happy. Yes, it's true, most of the damage from opiate addiction is due to it's legal status... there's always the risk of overdose with higher doses. Opiates work for your case, that's great - but statistically unlikely as a remedy for the general public. Most people with depression who end up using opiates and/or other drugs end up more screwed up in the long run. Whether a drug is related or not doesn't matter... weak opiates are useful wheras strong ones can be srongly addictive, or lethal. Weak short-acting benzodiazepines, like what's in Ambien are far less likely to cause you addiction requiring hospitalized withdrawal so you don't die compared to say, long term use of longer and stronger drugs that are almost identical (thinking xanax, valium) Street meth his horrid shit, and while closely related to the amphetamine salts used for adhd kids, is horrificly addictive and extremely bad for your health - that's comparing playing with matches to playing with hand grenades. Sure, if you take enough adderall or related, that's prone to abuse and addiction, but it's nothing compared to what crystal meth does to your body and mind. Just because drug companies made mistakes in the past is no reason to toss caution to the wind. You were diagnosed Bipolar, that's something you have to deal with; I can't claim to understand it, so if what you are doing makes your life truly better for you, then I see no problem, but for the vast majority of people, that's not the usual outcome.