5 ms·

I studied at an engineering college with a disproportionate amount of men, and I saw a lot of these ugly social dynamics. I think you are just blind to it all b

I studied at an engineering college with a disproportionate amount of men, and I saw a lot of these ugly social dynamics. I think you are just blind to it all because things work out for you.

watwut 2y ago
Did those women found men in general "disgusting" as article claims? I did not seen that specifically. I do not know how exactly they would rate the men around, but disgust is very strong negative emotion waaay beyond "not attractive" or "not my type". As I read the article, I would NOT ever want to date or go out with a guy that talks like that. Overwhelming majority of men I met were not like the author of this article. And I believe that it is not the case of them just hiding it. Plus, they tend to use more logic in their reasoning. Nice example is the sentence of "the typical man pesters you" ... the typical men are not actually pestering. Some men are occasionally pestering and annoying. The typical average guy around is perfectly fine to be around regardless of whether they currently have attraction for me or not. Or "The problem is that almost all women think they’re out of his league.". What I certainly don't do is to put myself into a hierarchy, then men into hierarchy and then trying to find visual equal. Look, I am getting ick about whoever wrote this article, but not because they would look badly or because they hygiene would be bad. It is just that as I am reading the article, some red flag in my brain is blinking and telling me "steer away, you do not want that in your home".
- wakawaka28 2y ago
  I've been in the author's shoes and your comment reminds me of how people would blame me for my own social failures, often with bizarre rationales. It's obvious that the author is not happy with his social life. Nobody wants to be around a bitter person. But his problems are real and caused mainly by him not being accepted by others, almost certainly because of his looks. And he need not look worse than the average man or worse than the women he is pursuing to get a lot of rejection either. It sucks but unfortunately just being aware of this doesn't fix anything. You can always try to look better, but looking better than 90% of guys is not in the cards for most. At least being aware of it as a guy can help you avoid overthinking and to break free of the white lies people say to avoid telling you basic stuff like maybe you need to do <insert uncomfortable thing> or maybe you're just one of the unlucky ones.
  - watwut 2y ago
    > But his problems are real and caused mainly by him not being accepted by others, almost certainly because of his looks. That is not obvious at all. First, there is nothing in the article that would suggest there is an issue with his look. Second, I have no idea how author looks like and as I wrote, reading made red flags in my head blink. This guy wont listen to what I actually say and wont be interested in me as a person. I would be a plaything for him, but he would get offended if I reciprocated the attitude. Dangerous to risk one night stand and no go for relationship. To be honest, he gives off Elliot Roger vibes - not the violent part but the way he thinks. > And he need not look worse than the average man or worse than the women he is pursuing to get a lot of rejection either. There is more to that. He also needs ability to guess which woman will one night stand with him and just do not do that thing. He is not looking for long term relationship, that part is clear. But he is not honest with himself about this either. Like I said, I just do not think in hierarchies like that. This is a projection. And exactly the kind of guy who will get angry when he sees what he considers visually uneven couple and see it as huge unfairness no matter which one of the two he looks down at. > to break free of the white lies people say to avoid telling you basic stuff like maybe you need to do The author is not breaking off anything. The write up is internally inconsistent (He seems to claim that average men is disgustingly unhygienic but actually issue is women care about looks too much and don't care about character? Which one is it?). The data he has do not even measure disgust, but I guess he thinks 6% of women are disgusting and projects that on women who rated men low in attractiveness.
    - wakawaka28 2y ago
      >That is not obvious at all. First, there is nothing in the article that would suggest there is an issue with his look. Lol the fact that the article exists is essentially proof that the author is not successful with women. Do you think guys who are happy with their love lives and think they look good are happy summarizing research that suggests women are too picky? >Second, I have no idea how author looks like and as I wrote, reading made red flags in my head blink. This guy wont listen to what I actually say and wont be interested in me as a person. I would be a plaything for him, but he would get offended if I reciprocated the attitude. Dangerous to risk one night stand and no go for relationship. To be honest, he gives off Elliot Roger vibes - not the violent part but the way he thinks. I kind of get why you would think like this. Guys (and girls) have been known to be upset at rejection, and maybe ruminating on why one is failing is a sign of that. At the same time, not everyone who is upset at their outcomes is a bad person like you seem to believe. Just because Rogers thought many of these thoughts doesn't mean everyone who thinks these thoughts is one of those guys or dangerous at all. The man is just unhappy and trying to make sense of it, and you can't blame his failure on the fact that he is trying to make sense of it and had some unflattering observations (in general, anyway). In the same spirit as you calling this guy like Elliot Rogers, I could call any woman who complains that guys only want sex a "Lorena Bobbitt" lol >There is more to that. He also needs ability to guess which woman will one night stand with him and just do not do that thing. He is not looking for long term relationship, that part is clear. But he is not honest with himself about this either. I doubt this guy is the type that can pull one-night stands. I think complaining about women's unreasonable looks preferences suggests that he isn't looking for one night stands. In my experience, most guys would rather not deal with one-night stands. Crazy, right? You wouldn't know it from talking to women. Almost like the men they date are not representative of the population as a whole. To be fair, my friend group probably isn't either. >Like I said, I just do not think in hierarchies like that. This is a projection. And exactly the kind of guy who will get angry when he sees what he considers visually uneven couple and see it as huge unfairness no matter which one of the two he looks down at. OK so maybe you're right, and this explains why women are so bad at rating men. But they seem to agree on which ones are really attractive at the high end. Maybe the ones that aren't so attractive as that are more like puzzle pieces, which again suggests that women are picky. Visually uneven couples piss off even attractive people who have no dating problems. I remember a guy actually getting visually very irritated when he realized that he was hitting on my girlfriend right in front of me. I know it was because he thought he looked better than me, and he did actually. But she wasn't interested in a guy bagging groceries lol. >The author is not breaking off anything. The write up is internally inconsistent (He seems to claim that average men is disgustingly unhygienic but actually issue is women care about looks too much and don't care about character? Which one is it?). He is somewhat confused but he is on the right track. Women don't necessarily find most men disgusting, they just aren't interested. It's a real problem for normal (average) men trying to date. The confusion comes from many lies we get told in society. Nobody wants to tell you that you're too fat and that even if you lost weight your odds wouldn't be great. Nobody wants to tell you that you're just too short for 95% of women. So they say some stuff like "Just be funny" or "Just shower bro" lol. The movies make romance look easy too. So we become adults and get shocked to no end at how depraved the "sweet" other sex is, and how hard it is to find basic success in romance.

I studied at an engineering college with a disproportionate amount of men, and I saw a lot of these ugly social dynamics. I think you are just blind to it all because things work out for you.

watwut 2y ago

Did those women found men in general "disgusting" as article claims? I did not seen that specifically. I do not know how exactly they would rate the men around, but disgust is very strong negative emotion waaay beyond "not attractive" or "not my type". As I read the article, I would NOT ever want to date or go out with a guy that talks like that. Overwhelming majority of men I met were not like the author of this article. And I believe that it is not the case of them just hiding it. Plus, they tend to use more logic in their reasoning. Nice example is the sentence of "the typical man pesters you" ... the typical men are not actually pestering. Some men are occasionally pestering and annoying. The typical average guy around is perfectly fine to be around regardless of whether they currently have attraction for me or not. Or "The problem is that almost all women think they’re out of his league.". What I certainly don't do is to put myself into a hierarchy, then men into hierarchy and then trying to find visual equal. Look, I am getting ick about whoever wrote this article, but not because they would look badly or because they hygiene would be bad. It is just that as I am reading the article, some red flag in my brain is blinking and telling me "steer away, you do not want that in your home".

wakawaka28 2y ago
I've been in the author's shoes and your comment reminds me of how people would blame me for my own social failures, often with bizarre rationales. It's obvious that the author is not happy with his social life. Nobody wants to be around a bitter person. But his problems are real and caused mainly by him not being accepted by others, almost certainly because of his looks. And he need not look worse than the average man or worse than the women he is pursuing to get a lot of rejection either. It sucks but unfortunately just being aware of this doesn't fix anything. You can always try to look better, but looking better than 90% of guys is not in the cards for most. At least being aware of it as a guy can help you avoid overthinking and to break free of the white lies people say to avoid telling you basic stuff like maybe you need to do <insert uncomfortable thing> or maybe you're just one of the unlucky ones.
- watwut 2y ago
  > But his problems are real and caused mainly by him not being accepted by others, almost certainly because of his looks. That is not obvious at all. First, there is nothing in the article that would suggest there is an issue with his look. Second, I have no idea how author looks like and as I wrote, reading made red flags in my head blink. This guy wont listen to what I actually say and wont be interested in me as a person. I would be a plaything for him, but he would get offended if I reciprocated the attitude. Dangerous to risk one night stand and no go for relationship. To be honest, he gives off Elliot Roger vibes - not the violent part but the way he thinks. > And he need not look worse than the average man or worse than the women he is pursuing to get a lot of rejection either. There is more to that. He also needs ability to guess which woman will one night stand with him and just do not do that thing. He is not looking for long term relationship, that part is clear. But he is not honest with himself about this either. Like I said, I just do not think in hierarchies like that. This is a projection. And exactly the kind of guy who will get angry when he sees what he considers visually uneven couple and see it as huge unfairness no matter which one of the two he looks down at. > to break free of the white lies people say to avoid telling you basic stuff like maybe you need to do The author is not breaking off anything. The write up is internally inconsistent (He seems to claim that average men is disgustingly unhygienic but actually issue is women care about looks too much and don't care about character? Which one is it?). The data he has do not even measure disgust, but I guess he thinks 6% of women are disgusting and projects that on women who rated men low in attractiveness.
  - wakawaka28 2y ago
    >That is not obvious at all. First, there is nothing in the article that would suggest there is an issue with his look. Lol the fact that the article exists is essentially proof that the author is not successful with women. Do you think guys who are happy with their love lives and think they look good are happy summarizing research that suggests women are too picky? >Second, I have no idea how author looks like and as I wrote, reading made red flags in my head blink. This guy wont listen to what I actually say and wont be interested in me as a person. I would be a plaything for him, but he would get offended if I reciprocated the attitude. Dangerous to risk one night stand and no go for relationship. To be honest, he gives off Elliot Roger vibes - not the violent part but the way he thinks. I kind of get why you would think like this. Guys (and girls) have been known to be upset at rejection, and maybe ruminating on why one is failing is a sign of that. At the same time, not everyone who is upset at their outcomes is a bad person like you seem to believe. Just because Rogers thought many of these thoughts doesn't mean everyone who thinks these thoughts is one of those guys or dangerous at all. The man is just unhappy and trying to make sense of it, and you can't blame his failure on the fact that he is trying to make sense of it and had some unflattering observations (in general, anyway). In the same spirit as you calling this guy like Elliot Rogers, I could call any woman who complains that guys only want sex a "Lorena Bobbitt" lol >There is more to that. He also needs ability to guess which woman will one night stand with him and just do not do that thing. He is not looking for long term relationship, that part is clear. But he is not honest with himself about this either. I doubt this guy is the type that can pull one-night stands. I think complaining about women's unreasonable looks preferences suggests that he isn't looking for one night stands. In my experience, most guys would rather not deal with one-night stands. Crazy, right? You wouldn't know it from talking to women. Almost like the men they date are not representative of the population as a whole. To be fair, my friend group probably isn't either. >Like I said, I just do not think in hierarchies like that. This is a projection. And exactly the kind of guy who will get angry when he sees what he considers visually uneven couple and see it as huge unfairness no matter which one of the two he looks down at. OK so maybe you're right, and this explains why women are so bad at rating men. But they seem to agree on which ones are really attractive at the high end. Maybe the ones that aren't so attractive as that are more like puzzle pieces, which again suggests that women are picky. Visually uneven couples piss off even attractive people who have no dating problems. I remember a guy actually getting visually very irritated when he realized that he was hitting on my girlfriend right in front of me. I know it was because he thought he looked better than me, and he did actually. But she wasn't interested in a guy bagging groceries lol. >The author is not breaking off anything. The write up is internally inconsistent (He seems to claim that average men is disgustingly unhygienic but actually issue is women care about looks too much and don't care about character? Which one is it?). He is somewhat confused but he is on the right track. Women don't necessarily find most men disgusting, they just aren't interested. It's a real problem for normal (average) men trying to date. The confusion comes from many lies we get told in society. Nobody wants to tell you that you're too fat and that even if you lost weight your odds wouldn't be great. Nobody wants to tell you that you're just too short for 95% of women. So they say some stuff like "Just be funny" or "Just shower bro" lol. The movies make romance look easy too. So we become adults and get shocked to no end at how depraved the "sweet" other sex is, and how hard it is to find basic success in romance.