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So I know the meme explanation for this where women are unreasonably picky or something by nature, and that does make some sense in the context of sexed (in the

So I know the meme explanation for this where women are unreasonably picky or something by nature, and that does make some sense in the context of sexed (in the sense of gendered) game theory. But is it possible that modern lifestyle (diet, inactivity, etc) simply disrupts male sexual signaling more than it disrupts female sexual signaling? That would be a simpler explanation, in a way, and it seems plausible.

happytoexplain 2y ago
I always feel really bad when I see these two bar charts, because the way women rate men is how I thought everybody rates each other. I find the statistically average woman (and man) explicitly unattractive. I always assumed it was some combination of the modern person's astronomically high exposure to images of beautiful people, as well as, like you say, an actual degradation in people's looks caused by modern health issues. But apparently I am unusual? And it's not like I need people to be attractive to like them - I'm just talking about sexual attractiveness. Also, I think I'm pretty average-looking on par, below-average nowadays, so I don't think my standards for others are being inflated by my self-perception.
- gjsman-1000 2y ago
  This was actually one of the arguments against pornography. Only the top 1% will become a successful porn actor; and even then, it's well known that by the time they hit 22-24, they're probably done - even if, objectively, they are still in the top 5% most attractive people on earth. This warps men's perception of women in both selecting a wife; and in assessing the beauty of their wife in the long run especially after children. It warps women meanwhile in viewing themselves as less attractive, or viewing the 80th percentile of women as though it were the 40th percentile. Comparison is the thief of joy; especially when human beings are involved.
  - RHSeeger 2y ago
    > This warps men's perception of women in both selecting a wife; and in assessing the beauty of their wife in the long run especially after children. Which is a bit ironic given that the charts seem to show that men are assessing women reasonable, while women are suffering from exactly the problem of unreasonable expectations that the quote describes.

happytoexplain 2y ago

I always feel really bad when I see these two bar charts, because the way women rate men is how I thought everybody rates each other. I find the statistically average woman (and man) explicitly unattractive. I always assumed it was some combination of the modern person's astronomically high exposure to images of beautiful people, as well as, like you say, an actual degradation in people's looks caused by modern health issues. But apparently I am unusual? And it's not like I need people to be attractive to like them - I'm just talking about sexual attractiveness. Also, I think I'm pretty average-looking on par, below-average nowadays, so I don't think my standards for others are being inflated by my self-perception.

gjsman-1000 2y ago
This was actually one of the arguments against pornography. Only the top 1% will become a successful porn actor; and even then, it's well known that by the time they hit 22-24, they're probably done - even if, objectively, they are still in the top 5% most attractive people on earth. This warps men's perception of women in both selecting a wife; and in assessing the beauty of their wife in the long run especially after children. It warps women meanwhile in viewing themselves as less attractive, or viewing the 80th percentile of women as though it were the 40th percentile. Comparison is the thief of joy; especially when human beings are involved.
- RHSeeger 2y ago
  > This warps men's perception of women in both selecting a wife; and in assessing the beauty of their wife in the long run especially after children. Which is a bit ironic given that the charts seem to show that men are assessing women reasonable, while women are suffering from exactly the problem of unreasonable expectations that the quote describes.