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>> For example, if a parent died... and yet people died quite often before social media; what did we do then? If the realtionship is built upon the foundation

by skeeter2020 2y ago

>> For example, if a parent died... and yet people died quite often before social media; what did we do then? If the realtionship is built upon the foundation of social media, it's actually not that strong, absent social media. We'll be fine.

Kerrick 2y ago
Obituaries were published in newspapers. The news spread to local strangers, not just friends of friends of the deceased.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
- jhbadger 2y ago
  They still are. The issue is not many people read newspapers (whether paper or online) these days.
s1artibartfast 2y ago
you would find out at church or any number of the 3rd places you shared. Yes, that may have been better, but that doesn't mean deleting social media automatically sends you back in time. Doubly so if all of your friends are still on social media and using it as the primary form of communication. Imagine deleting your email and telephone in 1999 and saying "if they were really my friend, they would drive/fly to my house and talk to me".
- labster 2y ago
  In 1999 we had obits and mail, just like in 1899. Of course now all of the newspapers are gone (what’s black and white and dead all over?), so notifying the local community is much harder than 25 years ago. Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.
  - Intermernet 2y ago
    I didn't know not having a TV was a vegan thing...
    - labster 2y ago
      See sibling comment lol
  - shafyy 2y ago
    God damn vegans and their non-TVs, what assholes! Edit: Jokes aside, I'm vegan and I don't own a TV. Coincidence? Haha
  - latexr 2y ago
    > Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today. This is the toupée fallacy mixed in with something else I haven’t yet put a name on. Most vegans don’t brag about being vegan, just like most TVless people don’t brag about not having a TV. Some people are assholes and brag about anything, and some of those do the things you mentioned. It’s orders of magnitude more common to see people complaining about vegans (or, for an HN example, Apple users) than the actual bragging. It’s a meme, not the reality.
    - labster 2y ago
      Cool idea, but it’s based on my own experience in life, from a girlfriend and various people in college. And even a newspaper article I read literally this morning. Vegan folks who I knew and talked to every day. That said I could have used airplane pilots for the same example (also based on personal experience).
      - latexr 2y ago
        Right, that’s the toupée fallacy. https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Toupee_fallacy https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Toupee_fallacy You only know about the people who let you know. You have no idea how many vegans or airplane pilots you encounter regularly who never tell you. A small sample is driving the reputation of the whole. For people with whom you talk every day, it’s no surprise that you know. It’s bound to come up but I doubt it happened on your first conversation with everyone. If it did, you were hanging out with a weird group. If they knew each other, it’s normal that they’d talk about a shared interest. Just like people who hang out on HN would be likely to discuss tech when meeting in person. I have no doubt you found your share of asshole vegans, just like there are assholes who make it a point to make everyone know they eat meat. Though it is important to distinguish a true asshole from someone simply sharing an experience. Saying “no, thanks, I’m vegan” when offered a bite of a meat sandwich is not bragging, it’s context. Unfortunately, too many people take it to be a judgement when it most often is not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExEHuNrC8yU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExEHuNrC8yU

Kerrick 2y ago

Obituaries were published in newspapers. The news spread to local strangers, not just friends of friends of the deceased.

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
jhbadger 2y ago
They still are. The issue is not many people read newspapers (whether paper or online) these days.

s1artibartfast 2y ago

you would find out at church or any number of the 3rd places you shared. Yes, that may have been better, but that doesn't mean deleting social media automatically sends you back in time. Doubly so if all of your friends are still on social media and using it as the primary form of communication. Imagine deleting your email and telephone in 1999 and saying "if they were really my friend, they would drive/fly to my house and talk to me".

labster 2y ago
In 1999 we had obits and mail, just like in 1899. Of course now all of the newspapers are gone (what’s black and white and dead all over?), so notifying the local community is much harder than 25 years ago. Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today.
- Intermernet 2y ago
  I didn't know not having a TV was a vegan thing...
  - labster 2y ago
    See sibling comment lol
- shafyy 2y ago
  God damn vegans and their non-TVs, what assholes! Edit: Jokes aside, I'm vegan and I don't own a TV. Coincidence? Haha
- latexr 2y ago
  > Also some people back then would brag about not having a TV, the same way vegans still do today. This is the toupée fallacy mixed in with something else I haven’t yet put a name on. Most vegans don’t brag about being vegan, just like most TVless people don’t brag about not having a TV. Some people are assholes and brag about anything, and some of those do the things you mentioned. It’s orders of magnitude more common to see people complaining about vegans (or, for an HN example, Apple users) than the actual bragging. It’s a meme, not the reality.
  - labster 2y ago
    Cool idea, but it’s based on my own experience in life, from a girlfriend and various people in college. And even a newspaper article I read literally this morning. Vegan folks who I knew and talked to every day. That said I could have used airplane pilots for the same example (also based on personal experience).
    - latexr 2y ago
      Right, that’s the toupée fallacy. https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Toupee_fallacy https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Toupee_fallacy You only know about the people who let you know. You have no idea how many vegans or airplane pilots you encounter regularly who never tell you. A small sample is driving the reputation of the whole. For people with whom you talk every day, it’s no surprise that you know. It’s bound to come up but I doubt it happened on your first conversation with everyone. If it did, you were hanging out with a weird group. If they knew each other, it’s normal that they’d talk about a shared interest. Just like people who hang out on HN would be likely to discuss tech when meeting in person. I have no doubt you found your share of asshole vegans, just like there are assholes who make it a point to make everyone know they eat meat. Though it is important to distinguish a true asshole from someone simply sharing an experience. Saying “no, thanks, I’m vegan” when offered a bite of a meat sandwich is not bragging, it’s context. Unfortunately, too many people take it to be a judgement when it most often is not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExEHuNrC8yU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExEHuNrC8yU