4 ms·

There’s a lot of different ways to be miserable in this world but one in particular that seems to hit a lot of people in our industry is not knowing what you wa

There’s a lot of different ways to be miserable in this world but one in particular that seems to hit a lot of people in our industry is not knowing what you want. So many people followed a path laid out by others for so long—-study hard, do extracurriculars, go to a good college, study hard again, do internships, get a job with a prestigious company, work towards promo. At some point, generally in late 20s but can be before or after, many such people realize that they have if not everything they ever dreamed of then at least a lot of what they worked towards. But they still aren’t happy because in all those years they never figured out what kind of people they actually were—what it is that would make them happy. We all need money, but do you need that much money? If yes, then ok. Try to think about what you need the money for in the next stupid meeting about story points. But if no, then you have options.

polishdude20 2y ago
I think it's not as simple as thinking: there is this one kind of person you are and it's a constant and you need to figure out who that is and how to be that person to be happy. People change a lot. There's no golden idol person in my future that would make me happy if only I could break free and become that person. That person changes constantly. I think we are unhappy because we've been fed a lie that that person is just over the horizon and you're not living your full life properly unless you become that person. The problem is that that person changes constantly. It's always out of reach and who's to say you will be happy once you get to that point? A change in mindset is the cure. But a change in mindset does not cause economies to scale, shareholders to get value and cause the wheels of industry to move. We are always arriving for something we think will save us.
- Arisaka1 2y ago
  What gets me more is the constant narrative of the pursuit of happiness as the end goal, which drives people into painting the perfect future in their imagination where their relationships have zero friction, they enjoy every day in the office, etc. Because you just can't think "what would make me happy" without involving people who aren't even around in the present moment. In fact, if somehow someone manages to come up with a way to satisfy happiness by ignoring their environment then that person deserves my sympathy, because the goal is not to be "happy no matter what goes around you": That requires detachment.

polishdude20 2y ago

I think it's not as simple as thinking: there is this one kind of person you are and it's a constant and you need to figure out who that is and how to be that person to be happy. People change a lot. There's no golden idol person in my future that would make me happy if only I could break free and become that person. That person changes constantly. I think we are unhappy because we've been fed a lie that that person is just over the horizon and you're not living your full life properly unless you become that person. The problem is that that person changes constantly. It's always out of reach and who's to say you will be happy once you get to that point? A change in mindset is the cure. But a change in mindset does not cause economies to scale, shareholders to get value and cause the wheels of industry to move. We are always arriving for something we think will save us.

Arisaka1 2y ago
What gets me more is the constant narrative of the pursuit of happiness as the end goal, which drives people into painting the perfect future in their imagination where their relationships have zero friction, they enjoy every day in the office, etc. Because you just can't think "what would make me happy" without involving people who aren't even around in the present moment. In fact, if somehow someone manages to come up with a way to satisfy happiness by ignoring their environment then that person deserves my sympathy, because the goal is not to be "happy no matter what goes around you": That requires detachment.