But that's not the way Stack is actually run. Remember Monica? She was a Stack moderator who got in trouble over Stack's new Code of Conduct a few years back.

But that's not the way Stack is actually run. Remember Monica? She was a Stack moderator who got in trouble over Stack's new Code of Conduct a few years back. The Code required using people's pronouns if they listed them. Monica always used gender-neutral pronouns and wanted to keep doing so, but Stack took issue with this. Pronouns are a pretty standard part of interacting with someone in English -- and so is the "thank you" in GP's Stack post. So why is one social convention mandatory while one is forbidden? Because it's not about what's on topic and what isn't. It's about archetypes. And the highest archetype for a certain kind of programmer is the Vulcan. Be respectful, be noble, but don't "waste time" on pleasantries that are just there to convey warmth and friendliness. The problem is that not all programmers are Vulcans, and more and more non-Vulcans have become programmers as coding has become more and more mainstream. But Stack essentially set up test cases for how Vulcan its users are. That tends to be an alienating culture for those who aren't.