4 ms·

For me at least, I took around 2 years of swing dance lessons (1~2 a month). It was HARD, at least for me. It didn't take that long to get through the basics bu

by nox101 2y ago

For me at least, I took around 2 years of swing dance lessons (1~2 a month). It was HARD, at least for me. It didn't take that long to get through the basics but I never got confident at it and always felt unwelcome at dance events where everyone only wants to dance with already skilled dancers. The only exception was beginner parts of dance events where the participants have no experience. I also found east coast swing to be very counter intuitive. 6 count on 4 count songs. Ugh! I picked it up but still.... Maybe it's unrealistic expectations from movies or something but basically, before taking the classes I thought social dancing would come kind of naturally with just a little instruction. Instead it turned out, again, at least for me, that it's a highly skilled activity and only others who've spent months training can participate. To put it another way, I thought a random skilled lead dancer could pick a random partner and guide them through some moves. I felt like I've seen that from salsa leads. But, charleston and 6 count east coast swing are not intuitive and require practice beforehand, AFAICT.

bradlys 2y ago
You're right. It is very hard for men/leads. Most follows/women I know are incredibly judgy and won't dance with new leads. This is a big difference from a decade ago when saying "yes" was the norm. This is also a reason why I think it's falling off. Social dancing used to have a strong emphasis on the "social" part. It often now is completely organized around the actual dancing - not socializing. Socializing is a nice secondary effect whereas it was the primary effect before. I have a lot of thoughts about dancing overall since I spent so much time doing it from organizing, DJing, teaching, and traveling the world for it. In general, I'd say dancing sucks in the US. It's not a welcoming atmosphere for men/leads anymore. With the rise of dating apps, I don't see a reason to go out dancing for most men. Yeah, apps are terrible but very few women who go out dancing are of typical dating age and, more importantly, single. Most women who go out are in a relationship whereas most men who go out are single. I've done a lot of polling - the ratio is bonkers in the US. Relatively few men who are in relationships continue to dance once partnered. You will have as much competition at a social dance as you will on a dating app. I'd branch out.

by nox101 2y ago

bradlys 2y ago

You're right. It is very hard for men/leads. Most follows/women I know are incredibly judgy and won't dance with new leads. This is a big difference from a decade ago when saying "yes" was the norm. This is also a reason why I think it's falling off. Social dancing used to have a strong emphasis on the "social" part. It often now is completely organized around the actual dancing - not socializing. Socializing is a nice secondary effect whereas it was the primary effect before. I have a lot of thoughts about dancing overall since I spent so much time doing it from organizing, DJing, teaching, and traveling the world for it. In general, I'd say dancing sucks in the US. It's not a welcoming atmosphere for men/leads anymore. With the rise of dating apps, I don't see a reason to go out dancing for most men. Yeah, apps are terrible but very few women who go out dancing are of typical dating age and, more importantly, single. Most women who go out are in a relationship whereas most men who go out are single. I've done a lot of polling - the ratio is bonkers in the US. Relatively few men who are in relationships continue to dance once partnered. You will have as much competition at a social dance as you will on a dating app. I'd branch out.