4 ms·

Which is unfortunate, because all keeping it secret can do is lead to a lack of respect. We will all stand around and wonder, and whisper. There might even be r

Which is unfortunate, because all keeping it secret can do is lead to a lack of respect. We will all stand around and wonder, and whisper. There might even be rumors of suicide, when it was something completely unrelated. I refuse to adhere to this ridiculous idea.

n2d4 2y ago
If your relatives believe so, they can choose to share the cause of death. But at the same time, if they choose not to, I think we should respect that. I mean, I'm curious too. I think it's normal to be. But life goes on either way.
harshreality 2y ago
I consider almost all deaths of people I don't know personally as a Schrödinger's box of possibilities. There's usually no need to collapse them. Except in cases where it's obvious, such as extreme sport accidents, there's no way to know for sure. Even terminal patients could resort to assisted suicide, which is ambiguous; is that suicide, or dying from the disease? A cause of death stated by relatives could even be an outright lie. "Lost battle with <disease>" could be used to refer to depression -> suicide. "Sudden [cardiovascular event]" or "died in their sleep" could be suicide or overdose. etc.
rossta 2y ago
I don‘t speak for Noah’s family but can share from my experience. I lost my wife suddenly and unexpectedly. The event was intensely traumatic for me and devastating for our extended family. One day, she and I were planning for the future. The next, I was left to raise our child by myself. In many ways, now several years later, I am still picking up the pieces. In the days and weeks following her death, I did the work of making public announcements about her passing, funeral arrangements, collecting stories and photos to share with our son. I received many questions asking how she died. While I appreciated the concern and believe it fair to be curious, I chose not to share details outside of our closest friends and family. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the experience. For me it was too painful. Honestly, I could care less about the public perception. It has had no bearing on my grief and responsibility to our son and extended family. I have not spent one ounce of energy thinking about how my choice has affected others outside our closest friends and relatives—they are the only ones to whom I have ever felt any sense of obligation. I have no regrets about this. As for Noah’s family, I respect their decision, whatever it may be, whether conscious or not. My heart goes out to them.

n2d4 2y ago

If your relatives believe so, they can choose to share the cause of death. But at the same time, if they choose not to, I think we should respect that. I mean, I'm curious too. I think it's normal to be. But life goes on either way.

harshreality 2y ago

I consider almost all deaths of people I don't know personally as a Schrödinger's box of possibilities. There's usually no need to collapse them. Except in cases where it's obvious, such as extreme sport accidents, there's no way to know for sure. Even terminal patients could resort to assisted suicide, which is ambiguous; is that suicide, or dying from the disease? A cause of death stated by relatives could even be an outright lie. "Lost battle with <disease>" could be used to refer to depression -> suicide. "Sudden [cardiovascular event]" or "died in their sleep" could be suicide or overdose. etc.

rossta 2y ago

I don‘t speak for Noah’s family but can share from my experience. I lost my wife suddenly and unexpectedly. The event was intensely traumatic for me and devastating for our extended family. One day, she and I were planning for the future. The next, I was left to raise our child by myself. In many ways, now several years later, I am still picking up the pieces. In the days and weeks following her death, I did the work of making public announcements about her passing, funeral arrangements, collecting stories and photos to share with our son. I received many questions asking how she died. While I appreciated the concern and believe it fair to be curious, I chose not to share details outside of our closest friends and family. The last thing I wanted to do was relive the experience. For me it was too painful. Honestly, I could care less about the public perception. It has had no bearing on my grief and responsibility to our son and extended family. I have not spent one ounce of energy thinking about how my choice has affected others outside our closest friends and relatives—they are the only ones to whom I have ever felt any sense of obligation. I have no regrets about this. As for Noah’s family, I respect their decision, whatever it may be, whether conscious or not. My heart goes out to them.