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Consider this: you can’t read facial expressions, nor the tone of the voice. Moreover, most people you interact with misinterpret your face/voice, assuming you’

Consider this: you can’t read facial expressions, nor the tone of the voice. Moreover, most people you interact with misinterpret your face/voice, assuming you’re joking when you’re dead serious (and vice versa). So, you come up with strategies to cope with your deficiencies. Basically, playbooks of what to say if you hear/see so and so, filling the gaps in your sensorium. What’s handled by an “autopilot” for most, is a very complicated manual procedure for you. I’m oversimplifying here, of course. There are nuances, but it always boils down to this switch to manual controls when one is tired, and then becoming even more tired and overwhelmed. Hope this helps!

impoppy 2y ago
This was the best explanation. I forgot I used to be this awkward as well for many years and the autopilot/manual analogy is just great. I did get much better at this though through lots of practice and patiently wasting my mental energy and having many awkward interactions, now it’s all just natural to me. I’ll be called an ableist and downvoted, however, I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore. Although I did get lucky with my friends groups at the university and first companies I worked for.
- knorker 2y ago
  > This was the best explanation. It's the only one you choose to believe. > I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore I wouldn't call it ableist to assume that everybody is just like you. People are different. You wouldn't say "if only everyone suffered through reading this physics book, they'd surely understand the glory of physics, and become physicists". Or "if only someone would just read my religion's book, then obviously they'd instantly become a devout follower of my particular god?". It all seems profoundly ignorant, naive, lacking both empathy and theory of mind.
- creaktive 2y ago
  Thank you! I’m glad this metaphor works. As for me, practice did bring many improvements, too. I did stop aiming for “becoming a natural”, however. Good enough, is, well, good enough. I’m always trying to improve, of course! Yet, at least for me, it is so easy to accidentally end up just masking, instead of being myself. And masking is a path that brought me to the darkest places. Hence, I strongly believe that there is a hardwired ceiling, that manifests as discomfort. See, some people train hard and benchpress the weight of a small car. Other people get seriously injured before hitting 100kg. I see no reason for brain being any different.
stormking 2y ago
You're mistaking introverts for autist. Introverts are not having any difficulties in social situations and they are not afraid of them. They'rte just not that interested.
- creaktive 2y ago
  I dispute that. Introvert/extrovert distinction is outdated and pseudoscientific. The new definition (watered down) is that some people seek stronger stimuli while others avoid stronger stimuli. Autism is an extreme example of the later.

impoppy 2y ago

This was the best explanation. I forgot I used to be this awkward as well for many years and the autopilot/manual analogy is just great. I did get much better at this though through lots of practice and patiently wasting my mental energy and having many awkward interactions, now it’s all just natural to me. I’ll be called an ableist and downvoted, however, I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore. Although I did get lucky with my friends groups at the university and first companies I worked for.

knorker 2y ago
> This was the best explanation. It's the only one you choose to believe. > I don’t really understand what’s stopping others from suffering through discomfort to get used to it and not see it as discomfort anymore I wouldn't call it ableist to assume that everybody is just like you. People are different. You wouldn't say "if only everyone suffered through reading this physics book, they'd surely understand the glory of physics, and become physicists". Or "if only someone would just read my religion's book, then obviously they'd instantly become a devout follower of my particular god?". It all seems profoundly ignorant, naive, lacking both empathy and theory of mind.
creaktive 2y ago
Thank you! I’m glad this metaphor works. As for me, practice did bring many improvements, too. I did stop aiming for “becoming a natural”, however. Good enough, is, well, good enough. I’m always trying to improve, of course! Yet, at least for me, it is so easy to accidentally end up just masking, instead of being myself. And masking is a path that brought me to the darkest places. Hence, I strongly believe that there is a hardwired ceiling, that manifests as discomfort. See, some people train hard and benchpress the weight of a small car. Other people get seriously injured before hitting 100kg. I see no reason for brain being any different.

stormking 2y ago

You're mistaking introverts for autist. Introverts are not having any difficulties in social situations and they are not afraid of them. They'rte just not that interested.

creaktive 2y ago
I dispute that. Introvert/extrovert distinction is outdated and pseudoscientific. The new definition (watered down) is that some people seek stronger stimuli while others avoid stronger stimuli. Autism is an extreme example of the later.