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Try framing it in terms of what you Need from people. Avoiding using "should" so much. It will help you become conscious of what your needs are. Confusing your
by jasdi 2y ago
Try framing it in terms of what you Need from people. Avoiding using "should" so much. It will help you become conscious of what your needs are. Confusing your needs with others needs is also a trap.
We can only talk in terms of our Needs and why those needs are important to us. Anything else sounds like passing judgement and the reaction will be negative.
- BeetleB 2y ago> Avoiding using "should" so much. I have two phrases I use often: "Should is not in my vocabulary" "Should is a lazy word" People use words like "should" and "must" to get around explaining their perspectives. I remember early in my career, I made a request for a feature to an employee in another team. Their SW was allowing users to specify parameters that made the whole model unphysical, and it was a burden on us users to always double check that parameter "X" was not negative. The SW wouldn't fail. It would simply not give correct results (and they wouldn't be wildly wrong that you'll quickly realize it). I requested that they simply not allow a negative value. We didn't always put one there - sometimes it was the output of another process, and I didn't want to continually check that our automation wasn't putting in unphysical values. The response? "The engineer should be diligent in making sure the value is not negative". Should is a lazy word. He didn't explain at all why he's rejecting the feature request. I would have preferred "Low priority - we simply don't have the time." Start counting how often someone uses the word as a way to avoid explaining him/herself.
- jasdi 2y agoI am going to borrow that "should is a lazy word" slogan. Thanks!