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I really committed myself to solving this for myself a few years back. It does take commitment. A few things I’ve done that work: 1. Start a “Dad’s night” wit
by brightball 2y ago
I really committed myself to solving this for myself a few years back. It does take commitment.
A few things I’ve done that work:
1. Start a “Dad’s night” with people in my neighborhood. We picked Wednesday night from 9 - 10pm. Started out just as BYOB in my back yard. Eventually we periodically went to a local pub that was near the neighborhood.
When you have kids of a certain age, it’s inconsiderate to bail on your wife while the kids are still awake. The hard time limit keeps it easy for anybody during the work week. Doing it mid week keeps weekend plans from getting in the way.
Lots of dads were thrilled to have this. The trick is consistent scheduling even if you have some weeks with no shows. That’s why starting it in my back yard was easiest until we regularly had about 8 people showing up. Doesn’t put you out if nobody can make it. Don’t get your feelings hurt because things like this start slow.
Covid killed it, but most of those guys became a Friday lunch group instead.
2. If you can, a cheap poker night. Like $10 buy in so the point is more to hang out than to loot your neighbors coffers and it keeps it accessible for people who have never played. This probably works for most games, but poker is such a broadly played game that it’s not that intimidating. Works in all weather conditions and works well with a sporting event on TV in the background.
Again, the key is consistent scheduling.
For either of these options, make sure people know they can bring a friend if they think they’ll get along with the group.
3. Take up golf. I haven’t done this but I know enough people who have. It works. Join a country club and play regularly. They’ll pair you up with people and groups. It’s not for everybody, but works well for lots of people.
4. Join a church with adult Sunday school. Free and easy way to meet people in your community. Usually comes with family friendly activities around community service too.
5. Get involved with local tech communities and meetup groups.
- comprev 2y agoNot sure I agree with you about #4... religious groups prey on the vulnerable and you initiating contact is just heavenly for them.
- pavel_lishin 2y agoI don't disagree with you on the basic premise, but I'm pretty sure that the person you're replying to is a religious adult who has their shit together, and is probably not going to a church group that meets in a van down by the river, and practices "Steveism" or whatever. For all of my problems with religion, churches are a good way for religious people to make friends and establish a social circle. It's one of the few Third Places left in our society.
- brightball 2y agoI debated replying to this but I have to ask, “religious groups” is a very broad brush. I’ve been in various churches for most of my life and I’ve only seen them try to help the most vulnerable. In my area, post Helene it was the churches organizing volunteer chain saw crews to help get trees off of houses, cars and roads just as an example. What would make you think they prey on vulnerable people?