5 ms·

> Find a group. This is obviously great advice, but most groups don't organically sprout around interests. Sports, especially, are something that I have a very

> Find a group. This is obviously great advice, but most groups don't organically sprout around interests. Sports, especially, are something that I have a very difficult time imagining enjoying. And with the slow enshittification of meetup, where do you find these groups? Your local library?

henry2023 2y ago
Climbing gyms
- dgfitz 2y ago
  Rarely have I met someone at a climbing gym who was a jerk. This is solid advice.
idontwantthis 2y ago
> imagining enjoying Try it and find out if you really don’t like it. Maybe you’ll hear about something else you will like more.
- PittleyDunkin 2y ago
  Yup, this is great advice. Thank you.
elcomet 2y ago
Book clubs, art clubs, movie club... Lot of options
f1shy 2y ago
Specially having same sports interests, does not help in finding people with more or less same values/ world view. I cannot really make good friends with people on the opposite side of my thinking.
- sandspar 2y ago
  There's lots of clubs that are politically aligned. Board games and Dungeons and Dragons and maker spaces tend to be progressive, certain types of volunteering lean conservative.
- jsnsnd 2y ago
  [dead]
diggan 2y ago
> Sports, especially, are something that I have a very difficult time imagining enjoying There is a wide range of sports :) My mom always tried to force me into team sports like football, hockey and alike, which never really was my thing. But as an adult, I enjoy things like skiing, water-sports, table-tennis and a bunch of other sports, that I see less like "sports" but more like "enjoyable activities", but also really makes it easy to meet people with similar interests :)
technothrasher 2y ago
I’ve found most of my new friends in my 50’s by going to little local museums that interest me, such as a small clock museum and a military history museum, and inserting myself into them by volunteering to help out.
- ghaff 2y ago
  Not really my thing--but maybe at some point--but there are a ton of volunteer docent tasks at museums, ushering/other tasks at local theater groups, etc. Should probably do more along those lines.
- sdh9 2y ago
  I volunteered at a museum when I moved to a new city, thinking that I would meet people. I determined that exactly two types of people volunteer at museums: students/recent graduates that want to build a career in that field, or retired folk. I wasn’t in a phase where I desired meeting either of those groups, so while volunteering was a positive experience, the social aspect of it was not. I actually felt a little guilty volunteering-- the selection process was a little competitive and I didn't want somebody who wanted to get a start in their career turned away.
NordSteve 2y ago
Go mentor a high school robotics team, or volunteer to help run events. It's 100% sports, minus the athletic dimension. I see tons of lifetime friendships being made.
gritspartan 2y ago
Local library. Recreation centers. Local board game shops. Events and activities in the community. Volunteering. Religious groups. College campuses often host groups and events from the community. Art classes. Dance classes. Check the local newspaper as they often list events and activities.
- PittleyDunkin 2y ago
  I emphatically agree with this. I suppose I'm just frustrated it's so hard to figure out what your interests are without trying and failing. That's just life, I guess.
  - throw646577 2y ago
    If you don't have "interests" that is in its way a separate question, and it is one that is worth addressing on its own. It is shockingly common, in the modern world, to have only a job and watching-TV-while-doomscrolling-exhausted. But it is worth thinking about. Beyond planned activities, beyond hobbies: what appeals to you at all? Another way to look at it is outwards: what things do I know how to do that could be socially valuable and need an outlet? Like, do you know how to use a 3D printer, do you still vaguely remember how to play a musical instrument from childhood, do you find gardening easy?
dorpstein 2y ago
With websites and social media accounts being simple to create, just search google and instagram for “<x thing you’re interested in> club/meetup/group”. Lots of small groups make one for this purpose. It’s worked for me!
thrw42A8N 2y ago
Make your own meetup. Honest advice, everybody sort of sees you as the guy to become friends with if you're the leader.
- sandspar 2y ago
  This also works for hosting things in general, not just meetups. If you host something then everyone there will want to make friends with you.
doublepg23 2y ago
Have you tried DnD? My father has a biweekly DnD session where he’s met a ton of people.
1659447091 2y ago
> but most groups don't organically sprout around interests. If you are only looking for people with the same niche interest, it will probably be more difficult to find local groups. But if you're open to meeting new people that are interested in social connectivity, local sports teams are the way to go. I've meet friends through co-ed sports that work in fields I would rather not come into much direct contact with: police officers, tsa, tax auditor, etc. People I never would have met otherwise (turns out they are just like other humans; who knew!) Seriously though, they don't all become best friends, but mostly social acquaintances and that works for me. I did get a couple best friends out of it some time ago. > Sports, especially, are something that I have a very difficult time imagining enjoying. Kickball. There are no high school/college/main pro leagues, so you avoid that one competitive team that all played on a school sports team. And get a bunch of people looking to socialize while playing a rather silly game no one is expected to excel at. To shore up that reality, join co-ed sports teams. I have witnessed games in both Mens and Womens leagues and they are much more about the competition.
cableshaft 2y ago
> And with the slow enshittification of meetup, where do you find these groups? Meetup still works, although it is slowly enshittifying, I would agree. Taking away features that had always been there systematically so they can sell a subscription service to everyone. Ugh. But for now you can still see lists of meetup events and descriptions and sign up to attend those events without paying. If it weren't for Meetup I wouldn't have stumbled upon a local movies and dinner group last year that has quite a few people I really relate to and we now plan other activities outside of meetup as well. Trying out a few other new meetups next year as well that look maybe a bit promising.

henry2023 2y ago

Climbing gyms

dgfitz 2y ago
Rarely have I met someone at a climbing gym who was a jerk. This is solid advice.

idontwantthis 2y ago

> imagining enjoying Try it and find out if you really don’t like it. Maybe you’ll hear about something else you will like more.

PittleyDunkin 2y ago
Yup, this is great advice. Thank you.

elcomet 2y ago

Book clubs, art clubs, movie club... Lot of options

f1shy 2y ago

Specially having same sports interests, does not help in finding people with more or less same values/ world view. I cannot really make good friends with people on the opposite side of my thinking.

sandspar 2y ago
There's lots of clubs that are politically aligned. Board games and Dungeons and Dragons and maker spaces tend to be progressive, certain types of volunteering lean conservative.
jsnsnd 2y ago
[dead]

diggan 2y ago

> Sports, especially, are something that I have a very difficult time imagining enjoying There is a wide range of sports :) My mom always tried to force me into team sports like football, hockey and alike, which never really was my thing. But as an adult, I enjoy things like skiing, water-sports, table-tennis and a bunch of other sports, that I see less like "sports" but more like "enjoyable activities", but also really makes it easy to meet people with similar interests :)

technothrasher 2y ago

I’ve found most of my new friends in my 50’s by going to little local museums that interest me, such as a small clock museum and a military history museum, and inserting myself into them by volunteering to help out.

ghaff 2y ago
Not really my thing--but maybe at some point--but there are a ton of volunteer docent tasks at museums, ushering/other tasks at local theater groups, etc. Should probably do more along those lines.
sdh9 2y ago
I volunteered at a museum when I moved to a new city, thinking that I would meet people. I determined that exactly two types of people volunteer at museums: students/recent graduates that want to build a career in that field, or retired folk. I wasn’t in a phase where I desired meeting either of those groups, so while volunteering was a positive experience, the social aspect of it was not. I actually felt a little guilty volunteering-- the selection process was a little competitive and I didn't want somebody who wanted to get a start in their career turned away.

NordSteve 2y ago

Go mentor a high school robotics team, or volunteer to help run events. It's 100% sports, minus the athletic dimension. I see tons of lifetime friendships being made.

gritspartan 2y ago

Local library. Recreation centers. Local board game shops. Events and activities in the community. Volunteering. Religious groups. College campuses often host groups and events from the community. Art classes. Dance classes. Check the local newspaper as they often list events and activities.

PittleyDunkin 2y ago
I emphatically agree with this. I suppose I'm just frustrated it's so hard to figure out what your interests are without trying and failing. That's just life, I guess.
- throw646577 2y ago
  If you don't have "interests" that is in its way a separate question, and it is one that is worth addressing on its own. It is shockingly common, in the modern world, to have only a job and watching-TV-while-doomscrolling-exhausted. But it is worth thinking about. Beyond planned activities, beyond hobbies: what appeals to you at all? Another way to look at it is outwards: what things do I know how to do that could be socially valuable and need an outlet? Like, do you know how to use a 3D printer, do you still vaguely remember how to play a musical instrument from childhood, do you find gardening easy?

dorpstein 2y ago

With websites and social media accounts being simple to create, just search google and instagram for “<x thing you’re interested in> club/meetup/group”. Lots of small groups make one for this purpose. It’s worked for me!

thrw42A8N 2y ago

Make your own meetup. Honest advice, everybody sort of sees you as the guy to become friends with if you're the leader.

sandspar 2y ago
This also works for hosting things in general, not just meetups. If you host something then everyone there will want to make friends with you.

doublepg23 2y ago

Have you tried DnD? My father has a biweekly DnD session where he’s met a ton of people.

1659447091 2y ago

> but most groups don't organically sprout around interests. If you are only looking for people with the same niche interest, it will probably be more difficult to find local groups. But if you're open to meeting new people that are interested in social connectivity, local sports teams are the way to go. I've meet friends through co-ed sports that work in fields I would rather not come into much direct contact with: police officers, tsa, tax auditor, etc. People I never would have met otherwise (turns out they are just like other humans; who knew!) Seriously though, they don't all become best friends, but mostly social acquaintances and that works for me. I did get a couple best friends out of it some time ago. > Sports, especially, are something that I have a very difficult time imagining enjoying. Kickball. There are no high school/college/main pro leagues, so you avoid that one competitive team that all played on a school sports team. And get a bunch of people looking to socialize while playing a rather silly game no one is expected to excel at. To shore up that reality, join co-ed sports teams. I have witnessed games in both Mens and Womens leagues and they are much more about the competition.

cableshaft 2y ago

> And with the slow enshittification of meetup, where do you find these groups? Meetup still works, although it is slowly enshittifying, I would agree. Taking away features that had always been there systematically so they can sell a subscription service to everyone. Ugh. But for now you can still see lists of meetup events and descriptions and sign up to attend those events without paying. If it weren't for Meetup I wouldn't have stumbled upon a local movies and dinner group last year that has quite a few people I really relate to and we now plan other activities outside of meetup as well. Trying out a few other new meetups next year as well that look maybe a bit promising.