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I honestly think the majority of the difficulty is that we live so far from one another. In school, or college, it was easier to be in proximity to other peopl

I honestly think the majority of the difficulty is that we live so far from one another. In school, or college, it was easier to be in proximity to other people which is just not possible as an adult.

bossyTeacher 2y ago
>In school, or college, it was easier to be in proximity to other people which is just not possible as an adult. I think it is more that you made friends with people that already lived near you (ie the kids going to your school). As adults, the only people that match a similar profile are your work colleagues but adults tend be more closed off to making friends. In some cultures, it is still easy but north european cultures seem to make it so that when you reach some age you close off to new people.
diggan 2y ago
> I honestly think the majority of the difficulty is that we live so far from one another. This sound correct for some people, but I'm not sure if it's the majority. Right now I live in a town with ~20,000 people, feels like I cannot go outside without people around me and there are constant regular events being done. I grew up on a island with ~700 people, and even there you were not really alone unless you were out in the forest. Even that place regularly had events organized by people. Besides, I'm guessing most people in the world live in or close to metropolitan areas, and there certainly there isn't any problem of "live so far from one another", but maybe the opposite problem.
- norir 2y ago
  Yes and you aren't necessarily going to be friends with all of those people around you. The challenge is not being near just anyone but rather being near a group of people with significant overlap in values and interests. I live in one of the highest density cities in the US but I still have very few friends who live within a twenty minute walk and I frequently have to commute an hour each way to social gatherings.
  - diggan 2y ago
    > The challenge is not being near just anyone but rather being near a group of people with significant overlap in values and interests Maybe I'm exceptionally flexible, but I don't see those as being a requirement for finding friends. Growing up on the island with an interest for programming there was like two other people on the island who even knew what programming was, and were into computers. So most of my friends of that time I didn't really have anything in common with except we lived on this island with our parents, and we liked the same types of jokes. But generally our world-view was very different even back then, didn't seem to have stopped us.
- gigatree 2y ago
  You’re fortunate. At least in a lot of the US people live insular lives and only rarely run into people at the grocery store.

bossyTeacher 2y ago

>In school, or college, it was easier to be in proximity to other people which is just not possible as an adult. I think it is more that you made friends with people that already lived near you (ie the kids going to your school). As adults, the only people that match a similar profile are your work colleagues but adults tend be more closed off to making friends. In some cultures, it is still easy but north european cultures seem to make it so that when you reach some age you close off to new people.

diggan 2y ago

> I honestly think the majority of the difficulty is that we live so far from one another. This sound correct for some people, but I'm not sure if it's the majority. Right now I live in a town with ~20,000 people, feels like I cannot go outside without people around me and there are constant regular events being done. I grew up on a island with ~700 people, and even there you were not really alone unless you were out in the forest. Even that place regularly had events organized by people. Besides, I'm guessing most people in the world live in or close to metropolitan areas, and there certainly there isn't any problem of "live so far from one another", but maybe the opposite problem.

norir 2y ago
Yes and you aren't necessarily going to be friends with all of those people around you. The challenge is not being near just anyone but rather being near a group of people with significant overlap in values and interests. I live in one of the highest density cities in the US but I still have very few friends who live within a twenty minute walk and I frequently have to commute an hour each way to social gatherings.
- diggan 2y ago
  > The challenge is not being near just anyone but rather being near a group of people with significant overlap in values and interests Maybe I'm exceptionally flexible, but I don't see those as being a requirement for finding friends. Growing up on the island with an interest for programming there was like two other people on the island who even knew what programming was, and were into computers. So most of my friends of that time I didn't really have anything in common with except we lived on this island with our parents, and we liked the same types of jokes. But generally our world-view was very different even back then, didn't seem to have stopped us.
gigatree 2y ago
You’re fortunate. At least in a lot of the US people live insular lives and only rarely run into people at the grocery store.