both partners fully give themselves to each other, and 100% seek the happiness of their partner. I haven't been successful in relationships though,

both partners fully give themselves to each other, and 100% seek the happiness of their partner. I haven't been successful in relationships though, so what do I know? Is that just a religiously inspired fantasy, or can a real relationship work that way? I think there's a very wide spectrum of ways for relationships to work, but that one? That doesn't seem remotely realistic or healthy. (Sex certainly doesn't work that way) Your partner's happiness should be pretty damn high on your list, obviously... and I think there are times when it should come before your own happiness... but literally 100% them and 0% you? Yeah no I don't see how that could work in a literal practical sense, much less how it would be a good idea. My relationships have been varying degrees of successful, I guess, but... What I always have believed? A good relationship is synergistic: 1+1=3. You are the best version of yourself thanks to them, and vice-versa. But that's way different to me than each person being 100% focused on the other with no regard for themselves.