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> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of

> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action Great, so I have no idea what they do.

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]
ryandrake 2y ago
I'm convinced only CEOs know how to translate that into English. Company descriptions like this ought to be written as if you're explaining what your company does to a 6 year old. Imagine explaining your job to a class of first graders and telling them "I accelerate business transformation!" Yea, they'll be as lost as the rest of us.
- rrr_oh_man 2y ago
  Everyone at the top is clueless, faking it, and anxious they’ll be found out.
  - deskr 2y ago
    And based on social media, taken out.
- mrobins 2y ago
  But seriously, what’s the point of putting out this drivel. Isn’t the point of these statements to excite investors and potential big customers. Who in the publicity chain thinks these statements move anything closer to a goal?
  - deleted 2y ago
    [deleted]
- OldGuyInTheClub 2y ago
  "Oh stewardess, I speak jive." --- Barbara Billingsley
echelon 2y ago
> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies We make printers > that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. To help you do business > Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, We've been doing this for a while > Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action We help your company get important work done On this last point, a company is more than just its products, technology, and IP. It's people. People that are hopefully empowered and educated to make nimble decisions and rapidly respond to changing conditions. But yeah, they sell printers.
- stavros 2y ago
  The problem is that this bit: > that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action applies to every single b2b company in the world right now, and thus doesn't tell you anything more than "we're a b2b company".
gausswho 2y ago
Someone please turn that into a the backing vocals of a techno song.
- b0ner_t0ner 2y ago
  Here you go: https://suno.com/song/627039d4-b9f4-4203-8d01-1681ef723761 https://suno.com/song/627039d4-b9f4-4203-8d01-1681ef723761 https://suno.com/song/b2b320c3-793c-4331-ae1d-ea7bc1155571 https://suno.com/song/b2b320c3-793c-4331-ae1d-ea7bc1155571
layer8 2y ago
It seems that they can only turn stuff into other stuff if it starts with the same letter. That space is ripe for disruption!
lifestyleguru 2y ago
They help realize business outcomes.
jjeaff 2y ago
I put that blurb into ChatGPT and asked it to translate the corporate speak into normal English: Lexmark makes cloud-based printing and smart device technologies to help businesses achieve their goals faster. They use reliable technology and industry knowledge to help companies improve, turning information into useful insights, data into decisions, and analysis into action.

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]

ryandrake 2y ago

I'm convinced only CEOs know how to translate that into English. Company descriptions like this ought to be written as if you're explaining what your company does to a 6 year old. Imagine explaining your job to a class of first graders and telling them "I accelerate business transformation!" Yea, they'll be as lost as the rest of us.

rrr_oh_man 2y ago
Everyone at the top is clueless, faking it, and anxious they’ll be found out.
- deskr 2y ago
  And based on social media, taken out.
mrobins 2y ago
But seriously, what’s the point of putting out this drivel. Isn’t the point of these statements to excite investors and potential big customers. Who in the publicity chain thinks these statements move anything closer to a goal?
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
OldGuyInTheClub 2y ago
"Oh stewardess, I speak jive." --- Barbara Billingsley

echelon 2y ago

> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies We make printers > that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. To help you do business > Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, We've been doing this for a while > Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action We help your company get important work done On this last point, a company is more than just its products, technology, and IP. It's people. People that are hopefully empowered and educated to make nimble decisions and rapidly respond to changing conditions. But yeah, they sell printers.

stavros 2y ago
The problem is that this bit: > that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action applies to every single b2b company in the world right now, and thus doesn't tell you anything more than "we're a b2b company".

gausswho 2y ago

Someone please turn that into a the backing vocals of a techno song.

b0ner_t0ner 2y ago
Here you go: https://suno.com/song/627039d4-b9f4-4203-8d01-1681ef723761 https://suno.com/song/627039d4-b9f4-4203-8d01-1681ef723761 https://suno.com/song/b2b320c3-793c-4331-ae1d-ea7bc1155571 https://suno.com/song/b2b320c3-793c-4331-ae1d-ea7bc1155571

layer8 2y ago

It seems that they can only turn stuff into other stuff if it starts with the same letter. That space is ripe for disruption!

lifestyleguru 2y ago

They help realize business outcomes.

jjeaff 2y ago

I put that blurb into ChatGPT and asked it to translate the corporate speak into normal English: Lexmark makes cloud-based printing and smart device technologies to help businesses achieve their goals faster. They use reliable technology and industry knowledge to help companies improve, turning information into useful insights, data into decisions, and analysis into action.