5 ms·

So eloquently written. Thank you. Can I draw from this that when the psychosis gets deep enough you can sort of recognize that you’re in the state (since you’r

by tomcam 2y ago

So eloquently written. Thank you. Can I draw from this that when the psychosis gets deep enough you can sort of recognize that you’re in the state (since you’re telling people sorry) but simply cannot control it? Is it controlled by medication? Does the medication ever fail you and return you to the state of psychosis?

FollowingTheDao 2y ago
> Can I draw from this that when the psychosis gets deep enough you can sort of recognize that you’re in the state (since you’re telling people sorry) but simply cannot control it? No, it is too deep and I am fully in it. The sorry happens when I come out fo it and read the texts I sent out. :) I did not have psychosis all the time. Mostly bipolar symptoms. Yes, meds stopped psychosis but made my life even worse. Klonopin will take me out of psychosis in about 30 minutes. See: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5354128/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5354128/ And thank you.
- tomcam 2y ago
  Antipsychotics are a real bitch, very frequently embodying the whole cure being worse than the illness paradox. Do you take anything for the bipolar?
  - kayodelycaon 2y ago
    Different bipolar person chiming in :) I can only tolerate antipsychotics because my medication mix counters a lot of the side effects. I have an entire page of notes for my psychiatrist, listing my medication’s and their side effects, and how they interact. I’m probably one of the few people who never wants to stop taking medication. They helped me focus my creativity. I never could’ve become an author without them.
  - FollowingTheDao 2y ago
    Lamictal worked well for me and the Bipolar Symptoms. But high Omega 3 Keto, and some other dietary changes, does well for me now. See this for someone else doing medical keto who has been able to stop all medications: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo
    - tomcam 2y ago
      This whole thread has been eye-opening. Thanks so much for opening up.
kayodelycaon 2y ago
Paranoia and other psychoses felt normal to me before I learned I was bipolar. I’ve written up my two psychotic breaks on my blog: https://kayode.co/blog/4106/living-with-psychosis/ https://kayode.co/blog/4106/living-with-psychosis/ You don’t get to say you’re sorry until it’s over. I got to watch myself in third person fuck up most of my relationships while I spent the whole time screaming in my head to stop. Of course, I thought this was a normal reaction stress. I only got diagnosed a few years ago. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal till I offhandedly mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough. For me, medication is only part of the solution. I spend a lot of time and energy, keeping track of my mood and preventing myself from spiraling into an episode. Even the medication doesn’t always work and I have to take more of it. Can’t be manic if you’re sleeping. :)
- Diti 2y ago
  Wow, thank you for sharing your experience and feelings, that was a very interesting read. I sympathize for the paranoia – did you somehow had nice feelings from this experience, regardless of how insanely stressful it was?
  - kayodelycaon 2y ago
    There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t talk about and none of it was nice. But I’ve made the best of it. :) I live today and believe tomorrow can always be better. I know some people wish they can change the past. I used to wish that too, but now I find that to be extremely shortsighted. Why would I waste my one miracle on changing an event I’ve already learn to live with? I want to be a werewolf. :D
- FollowingTheDao 2y ago
  > Paranoia and other psychoses felt normal to me before I learned I was bipolar. Same with me. What helped me was years of Theravadan Buddhist Mediation. I do not recommend it, but it helped me create a mind that was separate from my delusional mind. I would easly have wild trips when I was meditating, whcih I think was from the excess serotonin released or my over sensitivity to the seritonin via the HTR5A g protein coupled receptor. > my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough. That is all psychiatrists do. I suggest you watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo

by tomcam 2y ago

FollowingTheDao 2y ago

> Can I draw from this that when the psychosis gets deep enough you can sort of recognize that you’re in the state (since you’re telling people sorry) but simply cannot control it? No, it is too deep and I am fully in it. The sorry happens when I come out fo it and read the texts I sent out. :) I did not have psychosis all the time. Mostly bipolar symptoms. Yes, meds stopped psychosis but made my life even worse. Klonopin will take me out of psychosis in about 30 minutes. See: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5354128/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5354128/ And thank you.

tomcam 2y ago
Antipsychotics are a real bitch, very frequently embodying the whole cure being worse than the illness paradox. Do you take anything for the bipolar?
- kayodelycaon 2y ago
  Different bipolar person chiming in :) I can only tolerate antipsychotics because my medication mix counters a lot of the side effects. I have an entire page of notes for my psychiatrist, listing my medication’s and their side effects, and how they interact. I’m probably one of the few people who never wants to stop taking medication. They helped me focus my creativity. I never could’ve become an author without them.
- FollowingTheDao 2y ago
  Lamictal worked well for me and the Bipolar Symptoms. But high Omega 3 Keto, and some other dietary changes, does well for me now. See this for someone else doing medical keto who has been able to stop all medications: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo
  - tomcam 2y ago
    This whole thread has been eye-opening. Thanks so much for opening up.

kayodelycaon 2y ago

Paranoia and other psychoses felt normal to me before I learned I was bipolar. I’ve written up my two psychotic breaks on my blog: https://kayode.co/blog/4106/living-with-psychosis/ https://kayode.co/blog/4106/living-with-psychosis/ You don’t get to say you’re sorry until it’s over. I got to watch myself in third person fuck up most of my relationships while I spent the whole time screaming in my head to stop. Of course, I thought this was a normal reaction stress. I only got diagnosed a few years ago. I didn’t realize it wasn’t normal till I offhandedly mentioned it to my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough. For me, medication is only part of the solution. I spend a lot of time and energy, keeping track of my mood and preventing myself from spiraling into an episode. Even the medication doesn’t always work and I have to take more of it. Can’t be manic if you’re sleeping. :)

Diti 2y ago
Wow, thank you for sharing your experience and feelings, that was a very interesting read. I sympathize for the paranoia – did you somehow had nice feelings from this experience, regardless of how insanely stressful it was?
- kayodelycaon 2y ago
  There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t talk about and none of it was nice. But I’ve made the best of it. :) I live today and believe tomorrow can always be better. I know some people wish they can change the past. I used to wish that too, but now I find that to be extremely shortsighted. Why would I waste my one miracle on changing an event I’ve already learn to live with? I want to be a werewolf. :D
FollowingTheDao 2y ago
> Paranoia and other psychoses felt normal to me before I learned I was bipolar. Same with me. What helped me was years of Theravadan Buddhist Mediation. I do not recommend it, but it helped me create a mind that was separate from my delusional mind. I would easly have wild trips when I was meditating, whcih I think was from the excess serotonin released or my over sensitivity to the seritonin via the HTR5A g protein coupled receptor. > my psychiatrist and she couldn’t prescribe antipsychotics fast enough. That is all psychiatrists do. I suggest you watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pIs30jDxeo