Honestly, it's kinda hard to give advice when it sounds like the fundamental problem here is that you're either consciously or unconsciously trying your hardest

Honestly, it's kinda hard to give advice when it sounds like the fundamental problem here is that you're either consciously or unconsciously trying your hardest possible to avoid learning the language, and resorting to rather elaborate tricks to circumvent classes meant to teach you. Do you have any friends or family who speak German? Maybe a good start would be to try and get them to at least speak some basic German with you. Try to actually formulate German questions and try to think about what they respond with. I know this isn't a great fit for everyone, but I find simply listening to German podcasts to be immensely helpful for me in internalizing the language and learning it in a way that's more organic than rote memorization / repetition. The Easy German podcast is really good and I strongly recommend it.