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I've observed a number of poly relationships from the outside, as a friend of one or more of the participants. I've also been in a monogamous relationship for >
by jpm_sd 2y ago
I've observed a number of poly relationships from the outside, as a friend of one or more of the participants. I've also been in a monogamous relationship for >20yr and I've lived on both coasts of the US in that time.
Generalizing wildly, "going poly" seems to be driven by one partner's selfishness and the other partner's desire to please. It has resulted in breakup of the original dyad in 100% of cases.
- kyletns 2y agoIndeed a wild generalization, but I can agree from many anecdotes that monogamous couples "going poly" is super super hard - much easier to start a relationship in a poly dynamic than attempt to transform one.
- aguaviva 2y agoProbably a function of the particlar psychographic you hang out with. Meanwhile one observes the denial of any potential to even discuss ENM (along with straight-up cheating) contributing to an immeasurable portion of dyad breakups. Or people staying in the dyad, but with tremendous unacknowledged suffering.
- Tade0 2y agoMy only observation of this phenomenon was essentially as you described in your second paragraph, the difference being it started as a poly relationship and it was painfully visible that one person was the third wheel there and in denial about it.
- nprateem 2y agoOn dating sites 100% of the girls I've seen with poly/open relationship on their profiles are butt ugly. Guys have been banging other girls on the side since forever, but now apparently a new word is needed and everyone needs to know about it. Just go and bang someone else and don't go on about it to your actual gf ffs.