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> Santa is contractually forbidden from altering the socioeconomic status of any individual. When my kids where young, all 'big' gifts came from mom and dad, a

> Santa is contractually forbidden from altering the socioeconomic status of any individual. When my kids where young, all 'big' gifts came from mom and dad, and small ones from Santa. I didn't want my kids to talk about how Santa got them an occulus or iPad, when the kid in the next chair in class, in a worse economic condition, got a much smaller gift, and start feeling left out...

evan_ 2y ago
Santa just fills stockings in our house- one or two small toys, some candy, new gloves/socks. Everything else is from mom and dad. Kids are excited about the magic, not what they get from whom.
tokai 2y ago
Why even invoke Santa?
- marpstar 2y ago
  This is a fair question. My youngest is 11 now, so the "Santa" days are behind me. It was part of my upbringing, it's fun, it's a big part of the culture, the share of kids who truly get nothing (which is absolutely heartbreaking) is small and invisible to those of us with any level of privilege. Their mother and I didn't ask ourselves "should we do this?" -- we just did. Not everything in life is (or has to be) a rational decision.
- MisterTea 2y ago
  People think the child like wonder and awe in the supernatural like tooth faeries and Santa are cute. Personally I remember the day I realized the Santa farce and I was quite disappointed and honestly felt betrayed. I never told my parents this but swore to never present Santa as anything other than a symbol if I had children.
  - swatcoder 2y ago
    The more heartening lesson one might take is that we can each infuse the world with delight, community, and excitement by consciously engaging in the traditions, rituals, and fantasies that provide those to us. Rather than becoming disillusioned by learning that reality is so mundane that Santa doesn't even exist, one can become empowered by learning that whether or not the world feels mundane is something we can control ourselves. Most kids won't be able to come to that conclusion on their own, of course, so it's a bummer that it seems like nobody was able to convey that to you and that you just felt pointlessly betrayed instead. I hope you've found other ways to teach your own kids the underlying lesson.
    - c22 2y ago
      I don't know that engaging with santa as a symbol really jeopordizes this ideology in any meaningful way.
  - c22 2y ago
    I had a similar experience when I was younger and made a similar resolve. Unfortunately my spouse considered it very important to produce and maintain this deception so I took a hands-off approach and simply didn't engage with the ruse. I put presents under the tree with recepients addressed, but no from field. When the children got old enough to actually ask me directly about it I told them the truth (and got some flak for it from my partner). Fortunately by that time other conversations I'd had with them about dragons, ghosts, and gods allowed them to integrate this knowledge in what I believe to be a pretty healthy way, but I've always felt uneasy about this casual dismissal of children's agency.
- gus_massa 2y ago
  Beacuase every single cartoon has a "Santa" episode.
  - defrost 2y ago
    Not every cartoon series. https://www.abc.net.au/education/digibooks/dust-echoes/101734324 https://www.abc.net.au/education/digibooks/dust-echoes/10173... http://thedreamingstories.com/ http://thedreamingstories.com/ etc.
firecall 2y ago
I’ve heard other parents say this exact thing. Where does this concept of Christmas parenting originate I wonder!
bitshiftfaced 2y ago
Kids talk about the best gifts they got for Christmas, regardless of whether the name "Santa" was on the tag.
- ternnoburn 2y ago
  Yes. The point is to not create a situation where Santa brings one kid a PS5 and brings another kid some socks. Because the poor kids then naturally ask, why did Santa choose not to bring me something no? Am i a less good kid? If big gifts come from parents, then at least kids can understand the dynamics of "my rich friend got rich friend stuff from their rich parents", which is a different sort of unfair but more understandable.
  - bitshiftfaced 2y ago
    My point was that the nuance of whether it comes from a parent or Santa probably gets lost when kids are just talking about what they got for Christmas at school. It's nice in theory, but it's totally nominal in practice. This is more about parents trying to make themselves feel less guilty than making poor kids feel better. It also gives parents an excuse to get credit for the best gifts instead of Santa.
    - selcuka 2y ago
      True. We are trying to minimise this effect by giving simpler presents for special days such as Christmas or birthdays, and buy more expensive gifts at random times.
portaouflop 2y ago
Here the “Christkind” aka “child of Christ” brings the gifts - it’s some kind of mythical creature that only brings gifts, but the parents clearly collude with it. Santa is less predictable, he comes two weeks before and brings mostly nuts and oranges. But I was very scared of his Krampus companion as a kid. Santa was always kind.

evan_ 2y ago

Santa just fills stockings in our house- one or two small toys, some candy, new gloves/socks. Everything else is from mom and dad. Kids are excited about the magic, not what they get from whom.

tokai 2y ago

Why even invoke Santa?

marpstar 2y ago
This is a fair question. My youngest is 11 now, so the "Santa" days are behind me. It was part of my upbringing, it's fun, it's a big part of the culture, the share of kids who truly get nothing (which is absolutely heartbreaking) is small and invisible to those of us with any level of privilege. Their mother and I didn't ask ourselves "should we do this?" -- we just did. Not everything in life is (or has to be) a rational decision.
MisterTea 2y ago
People think the child like wonder and awe in the supernatural like tooth faeries and Santa are cute. Personally I remember the day I realized the Santa farce and I was quite disappointed and honestly felt betrayed. I never told my parents this but swore to never present Santa as anything other than a symbol if I had children.
- swatcoder 2y ago
  The more heartening lesson one might take is that we can each infuse the world with delight, community, and excitement by consciously engaging in the traditions, rituals, and fantasies that provide those to us. Rather than becoming disillusioned by learning that reality is so mundane that Santa doesn't even exist, one can become empowered by learning that whether or not the world feels mundane is something we can control ourselves. Most kids won't be able to come to that conclusion on their own, of course, so it's a bummer that it seems like nobody was able to convey that to you and that you just felt pointlessly betrayed instead. I hope you've found other ways to teach your own kids the underlying lesson.
  - c22 2y ago
    I don't know that engaging with santa as a symbol really jeopordizes this ideology in any meaningful way.
- c22 2y ago
  I had a similar experience when I was younger and made a similar resolve. Unfortunately my spouse considered it very important to produce and maintain this deception so I took a hands-off approach and simply didn't engage with the ruse. I put presents under the tree with recepients addressed, but no from field. When the children got old enough to actually ask me directly about it I told them the truth (and got some flak for it from my partner). Fortunately by that time other conversations I'd had with them about dragons, ghosts, and gods allowed them to integrate this knowledge in what I believe to be a pretty healthy way, but I've always felt uneasy about this casual dismissal of children's agency.
gus_massa 2y ago
Beacuase every single cartoon has a "Santa" episode.
- defrost 2y ago
  Not every cartoon series. https://www.abc.net.au/education/digibooks/dust-echoes/101734324 https://www.abc.net.au/education/digibooks/dust-echoes/10173... http://thedreamingstories.com/ http://thedreamingstories.com/ etc.

firecall 2y ago

I’ve heard other parents say this exact thing. Where does this concept of Christmas parenting originate I wonder!

bitshiftfaced 2y ago

Kids talk about the best gifts they got for Christmas, regardless of whether the name "Santa" was on the tag.

ternnoburn 2y ago
Yes. The point is to not create a situation where Santa brings one kid a PS5 and brings another kid some socks. Because the poor kids then naturally ask, why did Santa choose not to bring me something no? Am i a less good kid? If big gifts come from parents, then at least kids can understand the dynamics of "my rich friend got rich friend stuff from their rich parents", which is a different sort of unfair but more understandable.
- bitshiftfaced 2y ago
  My point was that the nuance of whether it comes from a parent or Santa probably gets lost when kids are just talking about what they got for Christmas at school. It's nice in theory, but it's totally nominal in practice. This is more about parents trying to make themselves feel less guilty than making poor kids feel better. It also gives parents an excuse to get credit for the best gifts instead of Santa.
  - selcuka 2y ago
    True. We are trying to minimise this effect by giving simpler presents for special days such as Christmas or birthdays, and buy more expensive gifts at random times.

portaouflop 2y ago

Here the “Christkind” aka “child of Christ” brings the gifts - it’s some kind of mythical creature that only brings gifts, but the parents clearly collude with it. Santa is less predictable, he comes two weeks before and brings mostly nuts and oranges. But I was very scared of his Krampus companion as a kid. Santa was always kind.