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Clever marketing by the funeral services industry. And no, I don't want my last act on Earth to be inconveniencing people.

pessimizer 2y ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death
throw4847285 2y ago
OK, so go to the wake or the shiva or whatever. You don't have to buy into the funeral industrial complex to believe it's important to honor the dead. In fact, I think you have it exactly backwards. The industry popped up in order to exploit a deep human need. It did not create that need.
throw_pm23 2y ago
Why do you think it is an inconvenience for people to meet other people they know and/or like? You could see it as a last gift from you to bring them together.
ksenzee 2y ago
> I don’t want my last act on Earth to be inconveniencing people. There’s no way around that. Death inconveniences the living. Your death will probably make a mess of some kind. Your dead body will have to be buried or cremated, or it will be an even bigger inconvenience. Your effects will have to be split up among the living in some way. And if you find funerals to be an inconvenience, don’t go. But don’t kid yourself into thinking that everyone will be happier if you insist on no funeral. Many of us want to gather with everyone else who cared about the person who died, and it feels strange and wrong to be denied the opportunity. Funerals are for the living anyway. Let the living make their own decisions about what events they want to hold and attend.
- EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK 2y ago
  >> There’s no way around that. But that could be minimized. For example, by not taking precious square meters of Earth surface from the living. >> Your effects will have to be split up among the living in some way. That's not inconvenience :)
  - pavel_lishin 2y ago
    A funeral isn't the same thing as a burial.
  - ksenzee 2y ago
    > But that could be minimized. For example, by not taking precious square meters of Earth surface from the living. I understand and even agree with the sentiment here, but to me “I don’t want to be buried” or “I don’t want a funeral” is micromanaging. I’ve expressed a preference for as little inconvenience to the people I love and as little damage to the Earth as possible. My children or whoever else survives me can make whatever decisions work for them. I don’t want my last act to be ordering them around. My dad, for example, had always planned to be buried, but when he was nearing death he suddenly said he wanted to be cremated, which was distressing to some of the family and was going to mean redoing a bunch of plans. When we asked him what was behind this sudden change of mind, it turned out he didn’t actually care one way or the other, he’d just recently found out cremation was less expensive and he was trying to save us money. Turns out it’s important to say what you really mean—“I love you and want to save you inconvenience and grief”—rather than “I don’t want a funeral” or “I don’t want to be buried” or whatever. > That’s not inconvenience :) Heh. You must not have been executor of anyone’s estate. It’s pretty inconvenient. All I can hope for is to have enough money that it’ll be worth it to whichever kid ends up doing it.
    - EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK 2y ago
      As part of my plan of not inconveniencing anyone, I already doled out kids' inheritance in cash and real estate, and will donate the rest. I also rented 100-years storage at forever.com, so nobody has to deal with my old photos, memorabilia etc. Everything else is a matter of 2 hours' work by a garbage disposal team. Executors can walk.

pessimizer 2y ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_American_Way_of_Death

throw4847285 2y ago

OK, so go to the wake or the shiva or whatever. You don't have to buy into the funeral industrial complex to believe it's important to honor the dead. In fact, I think you have it exactly backwards. The industry popped up in order to exploit a deep human need. It did not create that need.

throw_pm23 2y ago

Why do you think it is an inconvenience for people to meet other people they know and/or like? You could see it as a last gift from you to bring them together.

ksenzee 2y ago

> I don’t want my last act on Earth to be inconveniencing people. There’s no way around that. Death inconveniences the living. Your death will probably make a mess of some kind. Your dead body will have to be buried or cremated, or it will be an even bigger inconvenience. Your effects will have to be split up among the living in some way. And if you find funerals to be an inconvenience, don’t go. But don’t kid yourself into thinking that everyone will be happier if you insist on no funeral. Many of us want to gather with everyone else who cared about the person who died, and it feels strange and wrong to be denied the opportunity. Funerals are for the living anyway. Let the living make their own decisions about what events they want to hold and attend.

EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK 2y ago
>> There’s no way around that. But that could be minimized. For example, by not taking precious square meters of Earth surface from the living. >> Your effects will have to be split up among the living in some way. That's not inconvenience :)
- pavel_lishin 2y ago
  A funeral isn't the same thing as a burial.
- ksenzee 2y ago
  > But that could be minimized. For example, by not taking precious square meters of Earth surface from the living. I understand and even agree with the sentiment here, but to me “I don’t want to be buried” or “I don’t want a funeral” is micromanaging. I’ve expressed a preference for as little inconvenience to the people I love and as little damage to the Earth as possible. My children or whoever else survives me can make whatever decisions work for them. I don’t want my last act to be ordering them around. My dad, for example, had always planned to be buried, but when he was nearing death he suddenly said he wanted to be cremated, which was distressing to some of the family and was going to mean redoing a bunch of plans. When we asked him what was behind this sudden change of mind, it turned out he didn’t actually care one way or the other, he’d just recently found out cremation was less expensive and he was trying to save us money. Turns out it’s important to say what you really mean—“I love you and want to save you inconvenience and grief”—rather than “I don’t want a funeral” or “I don’t want to be buried” or whatever. > That’s not inconvenience :) Heh. You must not have been executor of anyone’s estate. It’s pretty inconvenient. All I can hope for is to have enough money that it’ll be worth it to whichever kid ends up doing it.
  - EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK 2y ago
    As part of my plan of not inconveniencing anyone, I already doled out kids' inheritance in cash and real estate, and will donate the rest. I also rented 100-years storage at forever.com, so nobody has to deal with my old photos, memorabilia etc. Everything else is a matter of 2 hours' work by a garbage disposal team. Executors can walk.