5 ms·

Do the right thing even when you really don't want to is a valuable lesson, but I'm not sure I believe that the right thing to do is attend funerals for people

Do the right thing even when you really don't want to is a valuable lesson, but I'm not sure I believe that the right thing to do is attend funerals for people who you were not actually close to. It feels extremely insincere.

massysett 2y ago
It's not just whether you were close to the deceased; it's do you know the survivors. I've attended funerals where I never met the deceased but knew a survivor.
- AnimalMuppet 2y ago
  Yeah. Went with my cousin-in-law to his grandmother's funeral. I had maybe met her twice. It wasn't for her. Meant a lot to him, though.
sellmesoap 2y ago
I've gone to the funeral of a community leader who I only met a couple of times, but the stories of their life and seeing how they had touched the people around them was inspiring and I hold those stories dearly and feel the loss of the community. Hardly insincere.
bloodyplonker22 2y ago
I've attended the funerals of my enemies just to pay my respects for the rivalry that we had.
- tivert 2y ago
  > I've attended the funerals of my enemies just to pay my respects for the rivalry that we had. What? You have enemies? Like the Joker and Batman or Lex Luthor and Superman? Honestly, to me, that word describes a kind of relation that mainly exists in comic books and between nation states.
  - schmookeeg 2y ago
    I have a few folks who I felt wronged me significantly in my life's travels, and they take a bit of rent-free space in my head every once in awhile. I don't actively search for their obits or anything, but if I learned about a funeral, I'd make the time to visit, stand quietly, and reflect. Probably not the healthiest thing, but not my unhealthiest quality either. At the moment it is only theoretical. But I can think of 3 or 4 I'm now likely to google up and see what they're up to and assess who is closer to the pine box. :)
    - tivert 2y ago
      > I have a few folks who I felt wronged me significantly in my life's travels, and they take a bit of rent-free space in my head every once in awhile. Do you have grudge against those people, such that put effort into trying to undermine or defeat them? I feel the word "enemy" has connotations of a kind of direct, sustained opposition that just seems like it'd be really unusual (and unhealthy) in real life.

massysett 2y ago

It's not just whether you were close to the deceased; it's do you know the survivors. I've attended funerals where I never met the deceased but knew a survivor.

AnimalMuppet 2y ago
Yeah. Went with my cousin-in-law to his grandmother's funeral. I had maybe met her twice. It wasn't for her. Meant a lot to him, though.

sellmesoap 2y ago

I've gone to the funeral of a community leader who I only met a couple of times, but the stories of their life and seeing how they had touched the people around them was inspiring and I hold those stories dearly and feel the loss of the community. Hardly insincere.

bloodyplonker22 2y ago

I've attended the funerals of my enemies just to pay my respects for the rivalry that we had.

tivert 2y ago
> I've attended the funerals of my enemies just to pay my respects for the rivalry that we had. What? You have enemies? Like the Joker and Batman or Lex Luthor and Superman? Honestly, to me, that word describes a kind of relation that mainly exists in comic books and between nation states.
- schmookeeg 2y ago
  I have a few folks who I felt wronged me significantly in my life's travels, and they take a bit of rent-free space in my head every once in awhile. I don't actively search for their obits or anything, but if I learned about a funeral, I'd make the time to visit, stand quietly, and reflect. Probably not the healthiest thing, but not my unhealthiest quality either. At the moment it is only theoretical. But I can think of 3 or 4 I'm now likely to google up and see what they're up to and assess who is closer to the pine box. :)
  - tivert 2y ago
    > I have a few folks who I felt wronged me significantly in my life's travels, and they take a bit of rent-free space in my head every once in awhile. Do you have grudge against those people, such that put effort into trying to undermine or defeat them? I feel the word "enemy" has connotations of a kind of direct, sustained opposition that just seems like it'd be really unusual (and unhealthy) in real life.