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"But I also have strong opinions that other people don't agree with, and may occasionally write those opinions in a not-so-nice way." Personally I learned to i

by lukan 2y ago

"But I also have strong opinions that other people don't agree with, and may occasionally write those opinions in a not-so-nice way." Personally I learned to interact with people in a nice way, even though I very much disagree with their strong opinions (if they don't have to shout their opinions every 5 minutes from the rooftops) I believe HN meetups could work the same? Focus on the curious technical things and not on whether we like Musk or not? I likely would have a look at the profiles of people who also go there (I just did for my area) - but if it is not a toxic troll, I don't care if there ever was something weird. I certainly have my strong opinions and topics that trigger me as well ..

yieldcrv 2y ago
I disagree I never use this account on the Who wants to be Hired thread It doesnt matter that I can be cordial in discussing views, having views at all is counterproductive to being hired there are real frictions you are dismissive of, other groups like women also feel underrepresented in OPSEC concerns they have while guys in tech have a huge blind spot for why anybody would want to remain unlinked from their profiles
- lukan 2y ago
  So your intention would be more professional networking? Mine would be more casual. Doing hobby projects together or just enjoy hn discussions offline .. and well, my strong opinions are part of me and don't want to hide them when I am living a private life. (But I also don't need to present them at every opportunity)
  - yieldcrv 2y ago
    I don’t have any intention of using a hn meetup service Just dropped in to this thread you were having with someone else because there are concerns that had an additional perspective to elaborate on 30 people in NYC signed up while many more were aware? Most use existing public account to crosslink it? Obvious
riiii 2y ago
> Personally I learned to interact with people in a nice way Good for you. I think some people can't learn that, at least without some sort of a therapy. I friend of mine really struggles with filtering what he says to other people. He doesn't want to be like that I think, at least he has regrets of how he's behaved. But it doesn't really improve.
- lukan 2y ago
  Yeah, therapy might help. I never had a professional therapy, but I did used to have something similar - a strong urge to present my opinions at every opportunity and a strong urge to win every debate. So all in all potentially annoying ...
zmgsabst 2y ago
I’ve had diplomatically phrased and cited comments on HN called an “inherent flamewar” because they go against hivemind consensus — eg, pointing out BLM leaders described themselves as “trained Marxists”. I think it’s reasonable people don’t want to present the profile on HN as their “first impression”. People have different aspects to themselves in different fora and that’s not only okay, but healthy.
- Spivak 2y ago
  I think what makes something like you describe become inflammatory isn't the surface level fact, after all you're just conveying information, but the underlying message you might have been trying to convey with that information which isn't necessarily as neutral. If you said something like: "I think it's cool that despite Marxism in America being a niche line of political thought thanks to our history that a movement as large and successful as Black Lives Matter was informed by Marxist thought due to its early leaders. And it seems that time has made Americans more open to Marxist ideas now that it isn't connected to a global conflict." I don't think that is inflammatory at all and very well meets the bar of intellectual curiosity HN looks for. But if you brought up this fact in the middle of a discussion of the moment then, whether you intended it as one or not, folks will likely read it as a dogwhistle since it became one in counterprotest circles.
  - AlexeyBelov 2y ago
    So strange this comment got downvoted. It's reasonable and genuine, and doesn't seem to violate the guidelines. The guy above though definitely hides something.
- curvaturearth 2y ago
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- dang 2y ago
janalsncm 2y ago
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how nice you are, what matters is you’re taking a side in a controversial topic. Approximately half of people will disagree with you, and that matters if you’re not anonymous.
- lukan 2y ago
  With beeing nice I mean I can listen to a controversial topic and not take side or engage with it at all. Unless I feel like it, because it is the right space and time. So I can and did enjoy time with people, who would otherwise want to murder me online in a political discussion ... but then in the right mood, it is possible to communicate also with those people about controversial topics without having a fight. In fact, face to face discussions are usually way more calm as it is easier to insult a anonymous stranger than a living being in front of you (but when those escalate, the consequences can be worse of course).

by lukan 2y ago

yieldcrv 2y ago

I disagree I never use this account on the Who wants to be Hired thread It doesnt matter that I can be cordial in discussing views, having views at all is counterproductive to being hired there are real frictions you are dismissive of, other groups like women also feel underrepresented in OPSEC concerns they have while guys in tech have a huge blind spot for why anybody would want to remain unlinked from their profiles

lukan 2y ago
So your intention would be more professional networking? Mine would be more casual. Doing hobby projects together or just enjoy hn discussions offline .. and well, my strong opinions are part of me and don't want to hide them when I am living a private life. (But I also don't need to present them at every opportunity)
- yieldcrv 2y ago
  I don’t have any intention of using a hn meetup service Just dropped in to this thread you were having with someone else because there are concerns that had an additional perspective to elaborate on 30 people in NYC signed up while many more were aware? Most use existing public account to crosslink it? Obvious

riiii 2y ago

> Personally I learned to interact with people in a nice way Good for you. I think some people can't learn that, at least without some sort of a therapy. I friend of mine really struggles with filtering what he says to other people. He doesn't want to be like that I think, at least he has regrets of how he's behaved. But it doesn't really improve.

lukan 2y ago
Yeah, therapy might help. I never had a professional therapy, but I did used to have something similar - a strong urge to present my opinions at every opportunity and a strong urge to win every debate. So all in all potentially annoying ...

zmgsabst 2y ago

I’ve had diplomatically phrased and cited comments on HN called an “inherent flamewar” because they go against hivemind consensus — eg, pointing out BLM leaders described themselves as “trained Marxists”. I think it’s reasonable people don’t want to present the profile on HN as their “first impression”. People have different aspects to themselves in different fora and that’s not only okay, but healthy.

Spivak 2y ago
I think what makes something like you describe become inflammatory isn't the surface level fact, after all you're just conveying information, but the underlying message you might have been trying to convey with that information which isn't necessarily as neutral. If you said something like: "I think it's cool that despite Marxism in America being a niche line of political thought thanks to our history that a movement as large and successful as Black Lives Matter was informed by Marxist thought due to its early leaders. And it seems that time has made Americans more open to Marxist ideas now that it isn't connected to a global conflict." I don't think that is inflammatory at all and very well meets the bar of intellectual curiosity HN looks for. But if you brought up this fact in the middle of a discussion of the moment then, whether you intended it as one or not, folks will likely read it as a dogwhistle since it became one in counterprotest circles.
- AlexeyBelov 2y ago
  So strange this comment got downvoted. It's reasonable and genuine, and doesn't seem to violate the guidelines. The guy above though definitely hides something.
curvaturearth 2y ago
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- deleted 2y ago
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dang 2y ago

janalsncm 2y ago

Sometimes it doesn’t matter how nice you are, what matters is you’re taking a side in a controversial topic. Approximately half of people will disagree with you, and that matters if you’re not anonymous.

lukan 2y ago
With beeing nice I mean I can listen to a controversial topic and not take side or engage with it at all. Unless I feel like it, because it is the right space and time. So I can and did enjoy time with people, who would otherwise want to murder me online in a political discussion ... but then in the right mood, it is possible to communicate also with those people about controversial topics without having a fight. In fact, face to face discussions are usually way more calm as it is easier to insult a anonymous stranger than a living being in front of you (but when those escalate, the consequences can be worse of course).