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> Learn the dying art of in-person socialization. Memorize interesting things to talk about if needed. Buy a deck of icebreaker cards for inspiration. [...] Str

> Learn the dying art of in-person socialization. Memorize interesting things to talk about if needed. Buy a deck of icebreaker cards for inspiration. [...] Strike up conversations anywhere and everywhere. Adaptive socialisation happens through conversation. It is as scary to live in a society where conversation is forbidden as it is in a society where discourse is manipulated or perhaps even made overwhelmingly toxic to the point where people relapse into the sort of brutish tribalism that... forms the plot of many Roddenberry episodes.

tylerchilds 2y ago
Agoraphobia “Fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that often develops after one or more panic attacks. Symptoms include fear and avoidance of places and situations that might cause feelings of panic, entrapment, helplessness, or embarrassment. Treatments include talk therapy and medication.” turns out, the poison (talking) is the cure (talking).
- killjoywashere 2y ago
  More true than you might think: rat poison (coumadin) saves lives as an anticoagulant. Conversely, Tylenol can kill you. Very few non-smoking alcoholics have serious atherosclerosis on autopsy, but lots of people die of alcoholism. Life finds a way. Or sometimes not.
- ARandomerDude 2y ago
  Agree with your point. Old man will now yell at cloud: Whoever came up with the modern definition of "agoraphobia" has failed to define the term. "Fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment." Is there any other kind of fear? The word is so broadly inclusive as to have little meaning. ἀγορά (agora) – assembly, especially an assembly of the people; the place of assembly; speech; market, marketplace [1] φόβος (phobos) – fear, terror, alarm, fright, panic [2] Agoraphobia seems straightforwardly to mean "fear of public spaces and interactions." A person might say that etymology is not definition, but if you look at the most common examples of agoraphobia, this is exactly what's being described. [3] We need to stop being so "inclusive" in our definitions! The purpose of a definition is to make something finite, i.e., to circumscribe its boundaries in order to enable clear thinking about that specific term. Broad definitions harm critical thinking. 1. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E1%BC%80%CE%B3%CE%BF%CF%81%CE%AC https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E1%BC%80%CE%B3%CE%BF%CF%81%C... 2. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CF%86%CF%8C%CE%B2%CE%BF%CF%82#Ancient_Greek https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CF%86%CF%8C%CE%B2%CE%BF%CF%8... 3. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/overview/ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/over...
  - inanutshellus 2y ago
    Yeeeahhh agoraphobia is just the fear of open places. That's it.
  - lupusyndrby9 2y ago
    Thank you for this. I feel like a lot of the arguments I get into are because someone is taking a measurement that’s more precise then the tool their using allows for. Their too busy trying to win the argument to see I’m trying to work with them to build a tool precise enough to take measurement we both want.
Cumpiler69 2y ago
>Adaptive socialisation happens through conversation It's kinda tricky to start conversations with strangers in a world where everyone out in public has their Airpods in, in an effort to tune out everyone and everything around them, or in cultures where talking with strangers if frowned upon. For example, I'm trying to make new friends now in my 30's in a foreign country where everyone has their friends/cliques since childhood, and it's basically playing the game on ultra nightmare difficulty. I can see why a lot of people just give up and hermit themselves into their introvert hobbies and resort to para-social relationships with people online, as forced socialization consumes a lot of time and effort with next to no returns.
- nightski 2y ago
  I can guarantee you that it was just as hard before any technology developed in the last 20 years (mainly because I have lived before the era of smartphones). It might seem like the airpods are the issue, but they really aren't what gets in the way.
  - Cumpiler69 2y ago
    > It might seem like the airpods are the issue, but they really aren't what gets in the way. You're missing the point. Airpods are not a core issue, but people insulating themselves audibly (and maybe soon visually if the Apple Vision Pro catches on) certainly doesn't help spark up random encounters with strangers in public.
    - verelo 2y ago
      I'd argue you might be missing the point. There was always something, airpods are just the current 'thing'. When I moved from Australia to Canada in 08 it took a solid 24 months to meet the people that are today still my friends. It was much harder than I expected...and more than once I almost gave up.
      - Cumpiler69 2y ago
        I doubt it. If things today were just as tough as they were 20 years ago, then we wouldn't be having such a massive loneliness and mental health epidemic. Sure, some of it is due to more awareness on mental health than in the past, but a lot of it is also due to things just being worse and more difficult.

tylerchilds 2y ago

Agoraphobia “Fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment. Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder that often develops after one or more panic attacks. Symptoms include fear and avoidance of places and situations that might cause feelings of panic, entrapment, helplessness, or embarrassment. Treatments include talk therapy and medication.” turns out, the poison (talking) is the cure (talking).

killjoywashere 2y ago
More true than you might think: rat poison (coumadin) saves lives as an anticoagulant. Conversely, Tylenol can kill you. Very few non-smoking alcoholics have serious atherosclerosis on autopsy, but lots of people die of alcoholism. Life finds a way. Or sometimes not.
ARandomerDude 2y ago
Agree with your point. Old man will now yell at cloud: Whoever came up with the modern definition of "agoraphobia" has failed to define the term. "Fear of places and situations that might cause panic, helplessness, or embarrassment." Is there any other kind of fear? The word is so broadly inclusive as to have little meaning. ἀγορά (agora) – assembly, especially an assembly of the people; the place of assembly; speech; market, marketplace [1] φόβος (phobos) – fear, terror, alarm, fright, panic [2] Agoraphobia seems straightforwardly to mean "fear of public spaces and interactions." A person might say that etymology is not definition, but if you look at the most common examples of agoraphobia, this is exactly what's being described. [3] We need to stop being so "inclusive" in our definitions! The purpose of a definition is to make something finite, i.e., to circumscribe its boundaries in order to enable clear thinking about that specific term. Broad definitions harm critical thinking. 1. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E1%BC%80%CE%B3%CE%BF%CF%81%CE%AC https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E1%BC%80%CE%B3%CE%BF%CF%81%C... 2. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CF%86%CF%8C%CE%B2%CE%BF%CF%82#Ancient_Greek https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%CF%86%CF%8C%CE%B2%CE%BF%CF%8... 3. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/overview/ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/agoraphobia/over...
- inanutshellus 2y ago
  Yeeeahhh agoraphobia is just the fear of open places. That's it.
- lupusyndrby9 2y ago
  Thank you for this. I feel like a lot of the arguments I get into are because someone is taking a measurement that’s more precise then the tool their using allows for. Their too busy trying to win the argument to see I’m trying to work with them to build a tool precise enough to take measurement we both want.

Cumpiler69 2y ago

>Adaptive socialisation happens through conversation It's kinda tricky to start conversations with strangers in a world where everyone out in public has their Airpods in, in an effort to tune out everyone and everything around them, or in cultures where talking with strangers if frowned upon. For example, I'm trying to make new friends now in my 30's in a foreign country where everyone has their friends/cliques since childhood, and it's basically playing the game on ultra nightmare difficulty. I can see why a lot of people just give up and hermit themselves into their introvert hobbies and resort to para-social relationships with people online, as forced socialization consumes a lot of time and effort with next to no returns.

nightski 2y ago
I can guarantee you that it was just as hard before any technology developed in the last 20 years (mainly because I have lived before the era of smartphones). It might seem like the airpods are the issue, but they really aren't what gets in the way.
- Cumpiler69 2y ago
  > It might seem like the airpods are the issue, but they really aren't what gets in the way. You're missing the point. Airpods are not a core issue, but people insulating themselves audibly (and maybe soon visually if the Apple Vision Pro catches on) certainly doesn't help spark up random encounters with strangers in public.
  - verelo 2y ago
    I'd argue you might be missing the point. There was always something, airpods are just the current 'thing'. When I moved from Australia to Canada in 08 it took a solid 24 months to meet the people that are today still my friends. It was much harder than I expected...and more than once I almost gave up.
    - Cumpiler69 2y ago
      I doubt it. If things today were just as tough as they were 20 years ago, then we wouldn't be having such a massive loneliness and mental health epidemic. Sure, some of it is due to more awareness on mental health than in the past, but a lot of it is also due to things just being worse and more difficult.