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> Obvioulsy this can create a problem as I tend towards "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". The fact that most people enjoy exactly the opposi
by anal_reactor 2y ago
> Obvioulsy this can create a problem as I tend towards "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
The fact that most people enjoy exactly the opposite of what I do was revolutionary to me, really explained a lot, and allowed me to navigate social interactions better.
Having said this, I don't see the ROI on pleasing people I don't like. I try to gauge whether someone has the same vibe as I do, and if that's not the case, then I'll be polite but that's it.
- tejaskumar_ 2y agoWhat are some primary reasons you don't like some people? Is it just a vibe mismatch like the chemical reactions the article suggests?
- anal_reactor 2y agoFirst, most common mismatch: different goals. The things I'm trying to achieve are not the things someone else is trying to achieve, which makes cooperation difficult. Or we might be trying to achieve the same thing, effectively competing for the same resources. Second, less common but still common mismatch: different emotional responses. If an event happens and I react in way A while the other person reacts in way B, either of us needs to suppress the emotional reaction, which is exhausting. I'm not willing to do that, unless genuineness is not expected by definition (at work, at family reunion).
- tejaskumar_ 2y agoI love how self-aware you are about this. Honestly if I encounter the first mismatch I tend to operate just like you: will honor the person but also move away and towards my goal. Thanks for sharing!