6 ms·

Of all the speciality foods, wine is the most pretentious. Coffee isn't far behind.

debacle 2y ago
There's different varieties of coffee wanker. 1. There's the technical wanker, who has the best tools and might roast their own beans even, but generally still drinks shite coffee. 2+3. There's the Keurig wankers and the anti-Keurig wankers, one of whom thinks they're drinking good coffee and one of whom can't stand that someone is enjoying something they don't. 4. There's the free trade wankers, who want beans from a plantation in Costa Rica owned by someone from Texas. 5. There's the roast alchemy wankers, who believe that you need to overcomplicate the roasting process as much as possible in order to eek out that 2.9% acidic roast flavor profile at exactly 203.4 degrees. Buy good but cheap beans from a semi-local roaster, and don't let them get too old. Bam, you'll have coffee better than 99% of people.
- roflyear 2y ago
  Most local roasters really are garbage, though. Telling people to do this will make sure that people miss out on a lot of what "coffee can be" and will end up with something that is probably better than the worst of the worst coffee, but still tastes pretty awful in comparison to a great coffee roasted adequately. "need to drink it fresh" is a red flag about the roast, usually, unless you really do prefer something fairly dark. Light roasted coffee should be let to gas off for at least a few weeks.
  - debacle 2y ago
    True. The most popular local bean in my area tastes like battery acid, but there's a roaster about 20 minutes from me who is only ~20% more expensive than Lavazza (my go to large roaster) who produces a variety of good roasts. Not sure on the off gassing comment, I drink what I think tastes good. Espresso pretty much exclusively, lightly fruity, low acid, with a rich sip and a non-bitter aftertaste.
    - terribleperson 2y ago
      Lavazza seems to get a lot of hate on coffee snob forums, but they make consistently decent coffee that's not burnt to ashes or weirdly acidic.
      - Error9632 2y ago
        Coffee that isn’t acidic is realistically the weirder thing, considering what coffee is. Decades of bad coffee have created the expectation of every coffee having to taste like low-grade coffee with all the acidity burned out of it. Taste is subjective and you can call them snobs but they have a great point. Even if you love burnt flavors, there are far more ethical options than Lavazza.
      - roflyear 2y ago
        Coffee is acidic - it has acidity.
- pimeys 2y ago
  Our roster does test roast, good quality beans used to test the process. Light, tasty, and cheap. I do not need to get further from that. The only expensive thing you need is a good grinder. Rest goes with a 26€ V60 and a kitchen scale.
  - bschwindHN 2y ago
    > 26€ V60 Whoa, are they going for 26 euros in Europe? That's around 10x as expensive as they're sold in Japan. Or are you referring to the glass/ceramic ones?
    - Error9632 2y ago
      [dead]
    - pimeys 2y ago
      Including decanter. The glass drippers are around 20 euros and plastic ones 9 euros. But I really find it to be the best for daily quality coffee. Filters are easy to find, their products are durable and easy to clean. Except their thermo pot. Not worth the money. But they can be overpriced in Europe. Their electric water heater is around 190-200 euros if you can find one.
      - bschwindHN 2y ago
        > But I really find it to be the best for daily quality coffee. Agreed! I use mine twice daily and love the coffee I make with it, and how easy it is to clean.
rozap 2y ago
Beer is close. The essay written on the side of a floodland bottle is really a sight to behold in the wankery domain.
- pvg 2y ago
  An argument can be made for beer being above, perhaps even the peak. Unlike coffee or wine, beerwankers took something that didn't really have a high-end and then made it up. They created their own wanktopic! And for this achievement, they get comparatively little of their due social opprobrium - 'homebrew' has come to connote scrappy and hip even though it's transparent wankery of the highest order.
  - jujube3 2y ago
    "homebrew" just means you made it yourself. nothing to do with snobbery.
    - ElevenLathe 2y ago
      I'm not a linguist but I think this bit of jargon leaked into tech from ham radio, which is old enough that "homebrew" (in the sense of building your own radio set from components) referred to a still-earlier time when people actually did commonly brew their own beer at home. "homespun" retains a similar meaning in general usage.
      - jujube3 2y ago
        Is beer part of "tech" now? homebrew has a pretty straightforward meaning... beer you brewed at home. It's actually legally defined that way too
        ElevenLathe 2y ago
        Maybe I've misunderstood pvg upthread but I assumed "'homebrew' has come to connote scrappy and hip" was about IT/tech because it doesn't have that connotation in the actual context of beer, at least to my knowledge.

There's different varieties of coffee wanker. 1. There's the technical wanker, who has the best tools and might roast their own beans even, but generally still drinks shite coffee. 2+3. There's the Keurig wankers and the anti-Keurig wankers, one of whom thinks they're drinking good coffee and one of whom can't stand that someone is enjoying something they don't. 4. There's the free trade wankers, who want beans from a plantation in Costa Rica owned by someone from Texas. 5. There's the roast alchemy wankers, who believe that you need to overcomplicate the roasting process as much as possible in order to eek out that 2.9% acidic roast flavor profile at exactly 203.4 degrees. Buy good but cheap beans from a semi-local roaster, and don't let them get too old. Bam, you'll have coffee better than 99% of people.

roflyear 2y ago
Most local roasters really are garbage, though. Telling people to do this will make sure that people miss out on a lot of what "coffee can be" and will end up with something that is probably better than the worst of the worst coffee, but still tastes pretty awful in comparison to a great coffee roasted adequately. "need to drink it fresh" is a red flag about the roast, usually, unless you really do prefer something fairly dark. Light roasted coffee should be let to gas off for at least a few weeks.
- debacle 2y ago
  True. The most popular local bean in my area tastes like battery acid, but there's a roaster about 20 minutes from me who is only ~20% more expensive than Lavazza (my go to large roaster) who produces a variety of good roasts. Not sure on the off gassing comment, I drink what I think tastes good. Espresso pretty much exclusively, lightly fruity, low acid, with a rich sip and a non-bitter aftertaste.
  - terribleperson 2y ago
    Lavazza seems to get a lot of hate on coffee snob forums, but they make consistently decent coffee that's not burnt to ashes or weirdly acidic.
    - Error9632 2y ago
      Coffee that isn’t acidic is realistically the weirder thing, considering what coffee is. Decades of bad coffee have created the expectation of every coffee having to taste like low-grade coffee with all the acidity burned out of it. Taste is subjective and you can call them snobs but they have a great point. Even if you love burnt flavors, there are far more ethical options than Lavazza.
    - roflyear 2y ago
      Coffee is acidic - it has acidity.
pimeys 2y ago
Our roster does test roast, good quality beans used to test the process. Light, tasty, and cheap. I do not need to get further from that. The only expensive thing you need is a good grinder. Rest goes with a 26€ V60 and a kitchen scale.
- bschwindHN 2y ago
  > 26€ V60 Whoa, are they going for 26 euros in Europe? That's around 10x as expensive as they're sold in Japan. Or are you referring to the glass/ceramic ones?
  - Error9632 2y ago
    [dead]
  - pimeys 2y ago
    Including decanter. The glass drippers are around 20 euros and plastic ones 9 euros. But I really find it to be the best for daily quality coffee. Filters are easy to find, their products are durable and easy to clean. Except their thermo pot. Not worth the money. But they can be overpriced in Europe. Their electric water heater is around 190-200 euros if you can find one.
    - bschwindHN 2y ago
      > But I really find it to be the best for daily quality coffee. Agreed! I use mine twice daily and love the coffee I make with it, and how easy it is to clean.

rozap 2y ago

Beer is close. The essay written on the side of a floodland bottle is really a sight to behold in the wankery domain.

pvg 2y ago
An argument can be made for beer being above, perhaps even the peak. Unlike coffee or wine, beerwankers took something that didn't really have a high-end and then made it up. They created their own wanktopic! And for this achievement, they get comparatively little of their due social opprobrium - 'homebrew' has come to connote scrappy and hip even though it's transparent wankery of the highest order.
- jujube3 2y ago
  "homebrew" just means you made it yourself. nothing to do with snobbery.
  - ElevenLathe 2y ago
    I'm not a linguist but I think this bit of jargon leaked into tech from ham radio, which is old enough that "homebrew" (in the sense of building your own radio set from components) referred to a still-earlier time when people actually did commonly brew their own beer at home. "homespun" retains a similar meaning in general usage.
    - jujube3 2y ago
      Is beer part of "tech" now? homebrew has a pretty straightforward meaning... beer you brewed at home. It's actually legally defined that way too
      - ElevenLathe 2y ago
        Maybe I've misunderstood pvg upthread but I assumed "'homebrew' has come to connote scrappy and hip" was about IT/tech because it doesn't have that connotation in the actual context of beer, at least to my knowledge.