I'd seek mental health councillors because I strongly suspect you're carrying burdens which cloud your thinking. I felt like this, I sought help to look at my e

I'd seek mental health councillors because I strongly suspect you're carrying burdens which cloud your thinking. I felt like this, I sought help to look at my emotional state, and it improved things significantly. Which economy are you in which pays subsistence wages to academics? Not having a phd limits your access to tenured roles of course, but your skills should command a premium. Again, without knowing you or anything about you it is possible you interview badly, or do not present well on paper, which again demands professional help. This too has been a bugbear for me, I interview terribly. But I am now late stage end of career, content, and I put a lot of it down to some constructive introspection, CBT and the associated professional mental health. Don't forget your physical health either: good sleep and exercise is vital. Best wishes.