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But not all the time, and that is the point. Plus, most of the people with dementia that are extremely aggressive and/or violent are that way due to a lack of s

by borski 2y ago

But not all the time, and that is the point. Plus, most of the people with dementia that are extremely aggressive and/or violent are that way due to a lack of socialization and an extreme sense of loneliness. Of course that’s not always true, and I can guarantee that volunteering there is not always pleasant. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t rewarding or worthwhile all the same.

justinclift 2y ago
> But not all the time, and that is the point. That bit's not clear to me. If a person is (ever?) that way, then they shouldn't be in one of these places that contains "nice" people. Otherwise the nice people are going to be pretty unhappy in short order. > most of the people with dementia that are extremely aggressive and/or violent are that way due to a lack of socialization That's one way to describe my ex-biker father I guess. ;) I wouldn't even say you're wrong. His response to any kind of desire for people to socialize him is... also aggression and/or violence.
- elzbardico 2y ago
  Dementia removes a lot of the executive functioning that allow people who are jerks to keep their jerkness under control. For example: A racist with dementia will probably become more of a racist, as he will lack the conscious reasoning that tells him he must keep some thoughts for himself. My mother routinelly called heir caretakers the N world on her last years. She was educated in another age, has during most of her life kept this side of her personality, from her early formation under control, but just couldn't control it anymore with Dementia.
- vasco 2y ago
  They either separate them or more usually medicate them so they can't abuse other patients or the staff. They basically become bedridden on pills, and are sleepy all the time. The old people places love those patients because they are much less work and you can keep milking the family for much longer. The person has no awareness of themselves or their surroundings, sleeps all day, I cannot understand how this is allowed. I have a family member being put through this for the past few years, though I have no power to change the situation as other people are in control.
- borski 2y ago
  > If a person is (ever?) that way, then they shouldn't be in one of these places that contains "nice" people. Otherwise the nice people are going to be pretty unhappy in short order. Nah. The people who volunteer for this kind of thing understand that this is almost never the patient’s “fault.” Having dementia is a lot of things: terrifying, infuriating, lonely, confusing, and so on. In many cases, you also lose executive function slowly but at a consistent pace, adding to the confusion. Sometimes, every patient gets irritable and angry. They actually mention in the article that then is when they “flit” like a hummingbird to another patient. > That's one way to describe my ex-biker father I guess. ;) > I wouldn't even say you're wrong. His response to any kind of desire for people to socialize him is... also aggression and/or violence. Heh, I meant no offense, honestly. The reason I put it that way is because the socialization at that age is so so important; these people are confused and scared, and that can lead to anger. It requires immense compassion to get past that, but if you can, man… the amount of reward that can come from that is immensely powerful. I’ve never had a bigger dopamine hit other than saving an animal’s life (I foster kittens).
  - justinclift 2y ago
    > The people who volunteer for this kind of thing ... I was meaning the other residents in the same location. Don't inflict bad people on them. :( > It requires immense compassion to get past that, but if you can, man… the amount of reward that can come from that is immensely powerful. Nope. That's just silly. You're welcome to come here and try if you want, but I guarantee you'll change your opinion after experiencing this personally for a few days. :(

by borski 2y ago

justinclift 2y ago

> But not all the time, and that is the point. That bit's not clear to me. If a person is (ever?) that way, then they shouldn't be in one of these places that contains "nice" people. Otherwise the nice people are going to be pretty unhappy in short order. > most of the people with dementia that are extremely aggressive and/or violent are that way due to a lack of socialization That's one way to describe my ex-biker father I guess. ;) I wouldn't even say you're wrong. His response to any kind of desire for people to socialize him is... also aggression and/or violence.

elzbardico 2y ago
Dementia removes a lot of the executive functioning that allow people who are jerks to keep their jerkness under control. For example: A racist with dementia will probably become more of a racist, as he will lack the conscious reasoning that tells him he must keep some thoughts for himself. My mother routinelly called heir caretakers the N world on her last years. She was educated in another age, has during most of her life kept this side of her personality, from her early formation under control, but just couldn't control it anymore with Dementia.
vasco 2y ago
They either separate them or more usually medicate them so they can't abuse other patients or the staff. They basically become bedridden on pills, and are sleepy all the time. The old people places love those patients because they are much less work and you can keep milking the family for much longer. The person has no awareness of themselves or their surroundings, sleeps all day, I cannot understand how this is allowed. I have a family member being put through this for the past few years, though I have no power to change the situation as other people are in control.
borski 2y ago
> If a person is (ever?) that way, then they shouldn't be in one of these places that contains "nice" people. Otherwise the nice people are going to be pretty unhappy in short order. Nah. The people who volunteer for this kind of thing understand that this is almost never the patient’s “fault.” Having dementia is a lot of things: terrifying, infuriating, lonely, confusing, and so on. In many cases, you also lose executive function slowly but at a consistent pace, adding to the confusion. Sometimes, every patient gets irritable and angry. They actually mention in the article that then is when they “flit” like a hummingbird to another patient. > That's one way to describe my ex-biker father I guess. ;) > I wouldn't even say you're wrong. His response to any kind of desire for people to socialize him is... also aggression and/or violence. Heh, I meant no offense, honestly. The reason I put it that way is because the socialization at that age is so so important; these people are confused and scared, and that can lead to anger. It requires immense compassion to get past that, but if you can, man… the amount of reward that can come from that is immensely powerful. I’ve never had a bigger dopamine hit other than saving an animal’s life (I foster kittens).
- justinclift 2y ago
  > The people who volunteer for this kind of thing ... I was meaning the other residents in the same location. Don't inflict bad people on them. :( > It requires immense compassion to get past that, but if you can, man… the amount of reward that can come from that is immensely powerful. Nope. That's just silly. You're welcome to come here and try if you want, but I guarantee you'll change your opinion after experiencing this personally for a few days. :(