4 ms·

Maybe we shouldn’t be casting stones from the HN glass house, because literally every other startup here has a mission statement that sounds as ridiculous as th

by gyomu 2y ago

Maybe we shouldn’t be casting stones from the HN glass house, because literally every other startup here has a mission statement that sounds as ridiculous as this

boingo 2y ago
The C-Suite coming up with this garbage is in every industry. You notice it more with tech companies on HN because that's the industry we usually focus on
seizethecheese 2y ago
Arguably, startups should have absurd mission statements, while managers of the city of London should be more sober.
- dylan604 2y ago
  A sober Englishman? Is there such a thing?
  - n4r9 2y ago
    Bit unfair. Plenty of sober Englishman. During the week, anyway. Well, Monday to Thursday. Before midday, at least.
    - gerdesj 2y ago
      Before breakfast. 'spoons opens quite early in the morning for a reason ...
- no_wizard 2y ago
  Wait why should startups have absurd mission statements? That doesn’t make sense to me
  - pmontra 2y ago
    They shouldn't but they do. Making the world a better place is not what founders have in mind. What they have in mind is "we are looking for an exit and retire young", for nearly all of them. Unfortunately those words are not something they can write in a mission statement so they must be creative.
    - Cthulhu_ 2y ago
      Not just startups, this cognitive dissonance is everywhere in business and we're supposed to just swallow it. Honestly I've been a cynical prick for most of my adult life and for a while I played along with it but it just does not align with my values and keeping up the pretense is draining. I mean uh. Come work for us / hire us, we're the best at what we do! Honest! AI!
      - hnbear 2y ago
        Silicon Valley made fun of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8C5sjjhsso https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8C5sjjhsso
  - n4r9 2y ago
    Unrealistic goals seem to be a core tenet of capitalist realism. You see the same thing in politics: Trump is going to stop the Ukraine war in one day, Musk is going to cut 2 trillion from the US budget with efficiency improvements, etc... . A couple of years ago my company gave OKRs a go. One of the principles is that objectives should be practically impossible to reach, i.e. if you hit 100% of an objective then it wasn't ambitious enough. It's a surefire way to ramp up anxiety and stress on a team.
herpdyderp 2y ago
I wish they didn't, I have such a hard time figuring out what any of them actually do.
- dylan604 2y ago
  That's the great thing with such an ambiguous statement is that they can pivot at any point without having say they are pivoting. They are in a position to do what ever it is that someone inquires
- DocTomoe 2y ago
  Mission statements have the main function of obscuring that. It is safe to assume that the more obfuscating a mission statement is, the most likely the business goal is to steal investors' monies while finding another fool to buy the whole operation, ideally someone from the FAANG crew.
jimbob45 2y ago
Nobody drags YC startups through the mud like we do here.
DrillShopper 2y ago
And they are relentlessly mocked for doing so (as they should be)

by gyomu 2y ago

Maybe we shouldn’t be casting stones from the HN glass house, because literally every other startup here has a mission statement that sounds as ridiculous as this

boingo 2y ago

The C-Suite coming up with this garbage is in every industry. You notice it more with tech companies on HN because that's the industry we usually focus on

seizethecheese 2y ago

Arguably, startups should have absurd mission statements, while managers of the city of London should be more sober.

dylan604 2y ago
A sober Englishman? Is there such a thing?
- n4r9 2y ago
  Bit unfair. Plenty of sober Englishman. During the week, anyway. Well, Monday to Thursday. Before midday, at least.
  - gerdesj 2y ago
    Before breakfast. 'spoons opens quite early in the morning for a reason ...
no_wizard 2y ago
Wait why should startups have absurd mission statements? That doesn’t make sense to me
- pmontra 2y ago
  They shouldn't but they do. Making the world a better place is not what founders have in mind. What they have in mind is "we are looking for an exit and retire young", for nearly all of them. Unfortunately those words are not something they can write in a mission statement so they must be creative.
  - Cthulhu_ 2y ago
    Not just startups, this cognitive dissonance is everywhere in business and we're supposed to just swallow it. Honestly I've been a cynical prick for most of my adult life and for a while I played along with it but it just does not align with my values and keeping up the pretense is draining. I mean uh. Come work for us / hire us, we're the best at what we do! Honest! AI!
    - hnbear 2y ago
      Silicon Valley made fun of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8C5sjjhsso https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8C5sjjhsso
- n4r9 2y ago
  Unrealistic goals seem to be a core tenet of capitalist realism. You see the same thing in politics: Trump is going to stop the Ukraine war in one day, Musk is going to cut 2 trillion from the US budget with efficiency improvements, etc... . A couple of years ago my company gave OKRs a go. One of the principles is that objectives should be practically impossible to reach, i.e. if you hit 100% of an objective then it wasn't ambitious enough. It's a surefire way to ramp up anxiety and stress on a team.

herpdyderp 2y ago

I wish they didn't, I have such a hard time figuring out what any of them actually do.

dylan604 2y ago
That's the great thing with such an ambiguous statement is that they can pivot at any point without having say they are pivoting. They are in a position to do what ever it is that someone inquires
DocTomoe 2y ago
Mission statements have the main function of obscuring that. It is safe to assume that the more obfuscating a mission statement is, the most likely the business goal is to steal investors' monies while finding another fool to buy the whole operation, ideally someone from the FAANG crew.

jimbob45 2y ago

Nobody drags YC startups through the mud like we do here.

DrillShopper 2y ago

And they are relentlessly mocked for doing so (as they should be)