5 ms·

The rectangular cows of Art UK (2018)

153 points by onychomys 2y ago

shaftoe444 2y ago
Top kine.
actionfromafar 2y ago
Also rectangular pigs.
- InDubioProRubio 2y ago
  Reference? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSD6WhIAF8Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSD6WhIAF8Y
- gilleain 2y ago
  Bröther, may I have some oats! edit : Ah, in fact that painting is in the article at the very end : "A Pair of Pigs Image credit: Compton Verney"
  - Aardwolf 2y ago
    While I don't know what these oats are a reference to, I can't help but think of the absolute classic Fresh Oats from this LGR video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSxaUHT3yoI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSxaUHT3yoI From back when LGR was still reviewing silly games and edutainment games
    - gilleain 2y ago
      It's from https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brother-may-i-have-some-oats https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brother-may-i-have-some-oats (I only learned of the meme recently, not from the original)
- Oarch 2y ago
  Outrageous lack of rectangular chickens.
gwbas1c 2y ago
TLDR: > The answer, as best I can find it, seems to be related to the points about status. > The second is the overly bulgy bit in front of their front legs, the brisket. And, also according to my research, when cattle are judged for competitions or prizes, the brisket is taken into consideration.
- deleted 2y ago
  [deleted]
dTal 2y ago
As with a magic trick, the delight resides more in the mystery than the solution, and this article spends its time appropriately. Were the answer given too quickly - were the reader not given the opportunity to marinate for a time in the oddness of the phenomenon, while being drip-fed increasingly outlandish examples - the impact of the reveal at the end would be lost. The punchline is the recontextualization of what we think of as "art" as functional objects, and it is only through being invited to ponder for ourselves for a time that we are prevented from pretending that we understood this all along.
jdietrich 2y ago
The shape of the cows is exaggerated, but not by much - many breeds of cow are just incredibly rectangular in profile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5475e650e4b0df699238ca05/1417845560276-AZUN169ZQRJXYM8HG9BA/typical+Triple+T+Female https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5475e650e4b0df...
- onychomys 2y ago
  Honestly, I knew I had to submit it when I got to the sheep. The cows aren't far off, but that sheep!
  - jihadjihad 2y ago
    Haha yeah that sheep is pretty wack.
    - Cumpiler69 2y ago
      Brits had Minecraft sheep before Minecraft
  - hinkley 2y ago
    Those beluga whale pigs I’ve seen somewhere before and they haunt my dreams.
    - GreenWatermelon 2y ago
      These are the widely renowned "Brother, may I have some oats" pigs.
- Mistletoe 2y ago
  And the beef cattle industry ideal shape has evolved over time as well. In the past that rectangle with short stubby legs was what they wanted. https://onpasture.com/2016/07/04/from-big-to-small-to-big-to-small-a-pictorial-history-of-how-weve-changed-what-cattle-look-like/ https://onpasture.com/2016/07/04/from-big-to-small-to-big-to... All 3 parts of this are fascinating.
Nursie 2y ago
I haven't yet read the whole article, but I immediately find it fascinating - I grew up in the UK and these images are familiar, they were in country pubs and occasionally people's houses. It never occurred to me to ask why! I guess I assumed the images were old, and someone wanted to show off that they had a particularly spectacular cow. And the author is right, so many of them are side on and rectangular. I wonder how many other things in the world that I've ignored as basically wallpaper actually have a backstory...
TheJoeMan 2y ago
Recurring xmas gift for my mother for decades: https://www.calendars.com/shop/cows-cows-cows-2025-wall-calendar-by-lowell-herrero/202500000143 https://www.calendars.com/shop/cows-cows-cows-2025-wall-cale...
- pvg 2y ago
  Something to recite while giving it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_(poem) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_(poem)
bitwize 2y ago
Well, I suppose rectangular cows would make the math even simpler, as you wouldn't have to use polar coordinates or have π as a factor in your calculations.
plank 2y ago
Only explanation: No physicists were involved in painting these cows. (Everybody knows that physicists only know spherical cows) Kind regards, Roel (yes, physicist by origin)
- zehaeva 2y ago
  I came here to make this same joke good sir! You beat me to it!
- hehehheh 2y ago
  Can you make a square cow from a spherical cow using only compass and straight edge?
- _yb2s 2y ago
  Physicists switch between square, spherical, and cylindrical cows depending on the coordinate system they are working in. However they would be squares with a unitless volume and length of 1. There is no need for rectangular cows, because you can just redefine the basis vectors to make it square.
kjhughes 2y ago
American art by the late 20th century depicted cows more realistically: https://shorturl.at/aqvDa https://shorturl.at/aqvDa
webwielder2 2y ago
People think that art from the past must have all been done by masters, but just as with any pursuit at any time, most practitioners are mediocre to bad.
hermitcrab 2y ago
I love the weird stuff HN throws up.
hermitcrab 2y ago
At least these artists had actually seen a cow. There are some hilarious medieval artworks of lions where the artist had clearly never seen a lion. https://www.sadanduseless.com/medieval-lion-art/ https://www.sadanduseless.com/medieval-lion-art/
- defanor 2y ago
  Sounds like a fun fact, but were those drawn by people who can draw cows and humans, and aim to draw realistically? Middle Ages were quite a dip in art generally, AFAICT, with humans often not looking realistic, either.
  - hermitcrab 2y ago
    I guess it possible that these were just terrible artists, But it seems more likely that they just didn't know what a lion actually looked like. Afterall, if you were an English medieval monk, how likely were you to see an actual lion? They were no photos to go off. Check out this Cambodian lion: https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/a-guardian-lion-281362 https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/a-guardian-lion-281362 The craftsmanship is quite impressive. But it doesn't look anything much like a lion IMHO.
    - defanor 2y ago
      I guess that Cambodian lion is rather like the Chinese lions, which "are intended to reflect the emotion of the animal as opposed to the reality of the lion" [1], falling into the bucket with intentionally unrealistic (non-lifelike) art. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_guardian_lions#Appearance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_guardian_lions#Appeara...
    - gilleain 2y ago
      There were a few English artists who might have had the opportunity of knowing what they looked like, given there were lions at the Tower of London: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London "Records of 1210–1212 show payments to lion keepers" - although who was allowed to visit the lions is a different question ...
JoeAltmaier 2y ago
Not quite on point: the reason there are so many pictures of cows is not 'ubiquity'. There are many phone boxes in Britain, not so many paintings of them. The question is really, why are cows so relevant to paint? The answer is, the people who could afford to pay a painter were wealthy landowners, and their pride and joy was often purebred cattle. Each picture is some valuable animal, an advertisement if you will.
DonHopkins 2y ago
I'm taking a short break from grinding Factorio: Space Age, to mention that the timeless cult classic masterpiece Wagnerian Blade Runner of cargo hauling space operas "Space Truckers" (1996, Dennis Hopper), featured prescient square pigs, which packed tightly and efficiently into space trucks. Space Truckers - Title Scene (Square Pigs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJtHMe3MltU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJtHMe3MltU "Square pig" prop from Space Truckers: https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv-memorabilia/-square-pig-prop-from-space-truckers/a/997059-1904.s https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv-memorabilia/-squar... Square Hogs are pigs bred and farmed on Mars: https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Square_Hog https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Square_Hog >Square Hogs are merely pigs that have been genetically jacked up and overfed, confined in square cages making them extremely obese and fat. >The Earth company Inter Pork ship these animals across human space.
BlandDuck 2y ago
How does this posting coincide with the posting of this YouTube video. Coincidence? I think not! https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M
- onychomys 2y ago
  Alasdair posted this clip on bluesky, where I saw it. In the comments, Art UK had posted this article as a reply. Once I clicked through, I knew it would be exactly what HN would appreciate, and here we are.
mdp2021 2y ago
Incredible coincidence (new video): Alasdair Beckett-King, Cows are hard to draw (especially the corners) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2_wjUTT-M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2_wjUTT-M (Extract from his stand-up comedy show) (In which we also learn about the improper shapes of sheep and pigs.) Edit: ok, reading the comments more accurately (I used not working keywords to check overlappings before posting), there is a link between the two: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42207572 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42207572
hermitcrab 2y ago
"Animals shouldn't have corners!" https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M
chris_wot 2y ago
That wasn't a painting of a pair of pigs, that was a painting of oversized ticks after a human sized meal.
gideonparanoid 2y ago
The author of the post is wrong to say there's no famous cows, see the Craven Heifer [0] for example. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craven_Heifer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craven_Heifer
deleted 2y ago
[deleted]

153 points by onychomys 2y ago

shaftoe444 2y ago

Top kine.

actionfromafar 2y ago

Also rectangular pigs.

InDubioProRubio 2y ago
Reference? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSD6WhIAF8Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSD6WhIAF8Y
gilleain 2y ago
Bröther, may I have some oats! edit : Ah, in fact that painting is in the article at the very end : "A Pair of Pigs Image credit: Compton Verney"
- Aardwolf 2y ago
  While I don't know what these oats are a reference to, I can't help but think of the absolute classic Fresh Oats from this LGR video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSxaUHT3yoI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSxaUHT3yoI From back when LGR was still reviewing silly games and edutainment games
  - gilleain 2y ago
    It's from https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brother-may-i-have-some-oats https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/brother-may-i-have-some-oats (I only learned of the meme recently, not from the original)
Oarch 2y ago
Outrageous lack of rectangular chickens.

gwbas1c 2y ago

TLDR: > The answer, as best I can find it, seems to be related to the points about status. > The second is the overly bulgy bit in front of their front legs, the brisket. And, also according to my research, when cattle are judged for competitions or prizes, the brisket is taken into consideration.

deleted 2y ago
[deleted]

dTal 2y ago

As with a magic trick, the delight resides more in the mystery than the solution, and this article spends its time appropriately. Were the answer given too quickly - were the reader not given the opportunity to marinate for a time in the oddness of the phenomenon, while being drip-fed increasingly outlandish examples - the impact of the reveal at the end would be lost. The punchline is the recontextualization of what we think of as "art" as functional objects, and it is only through being invited to ponder for ourselves for a time that we are prevented from pretending that we understood this all along.

jdietrich 2y ago

The shape of the cows is exaggerated, but not by much - many breeds of cow are just incredibly rectangular in profile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5475e650e4b0df699238ca05/1417845560276-AZUN169ZQRJXYM8HG9BA/typical+Triple+T+Female https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5475e650e4b0df...

onychomys 2y ago
Honestly, I knew I had to submit it when I got to the sheep. The cows aren't far off, but that sheep!
- jihadjihad 2y ago
  Haha yeah that sheep is pretty wack.
  - Cumpiler69 2y ago
    Brits had Minecraft sheep before Minecraft
- hinkley 2y ago
  Those beluga whale pigs I’ve seen somewhere before and they haunt my dreams.
  - GreenWatermelon 2y ago
    These are the widely renowned "Brother, may I have some oats" pigs.
Mistletoe 2y ago
And the beef cattle industry ideal shape has evolved over time as well. In the past that rectangle with short stubby legs was what they wanted. https://onpasture.com/2016/07/04/from-big-to-small-to-big-to-small-a-pictorial-history-of-how-weve-changed-what-cattle-look-like/ https://onpasture.com/2016/07/04/from-big-to-small-to-big-to... All 3 parts of this are fascinating.

Nursie 2y ago

I haven't yet read the whole article, but I immediately find it fascinating - I grew up in the UK and these images are familiar, they were in country pubs and occasionally people's houses. It never occurred to me to ask why! I guess I assumed the images were old, and someone wanted to show off that they had a particularly spectacular cow. And the author is right, so many of them are side on and rectangular. I wonder how many other things in the world that I've ignored as basically wallpaper actually have a backstory...

TheJoeMan 2y ago

Recurring xmas gift for my mother for decades: https://www.calendars.com/shop/cows-cows-cows-2025-wall-calendar-by-lowell-herrero/202500000143 https://www.calendars.com/shop/cows-cows-cows-2025-wall-cale...

pvg 2y ago
Something to recite while giving it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_(poem) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leisure_(poem)

bitwize 2y ago

Well, I suppose rectangular cows would make the math even simpler, as you wouldn't have to use polar coordinates or have π as a factor in your calculations.

plank 2y ago

Only explanation: No physicists were involved in painting these cows. (Everybody knows that physicists only know spherical cows) Kind regards, Roel (yes, physicist by origin)

zehaeva 2y ago
I came here to make this same joke good sir! You beat me to it!
hehehheh 2y ago
Can you make a square cow from a spherical cow using only compass and straight edge?
_yb2s 2y ago
Physicists switch between square, spherical, and cylindrical cows depending on the coordinate system they are working in. However they would be squares with a unitless volume and length of 1. There is no need for rectangular cows, because you can just redefine the basis vectors to make it square.

kjhughes 2y ago

American art by the late 20th century depicted cows more realistically: https://shorturl.at/aqvDa https://shorturl.at/aqvDa

webwielder2 2y ago

People think that art from the past must have all been done by masters, but just as with any pursuit at any time, most practitioners are mediocre to bad.

hermitcrab 2y ago

I love the weird stuff HN throws up.

hermitcrab 2y ago

At least these artists had actually seen a cow. There are some hilarious medieval artworks of lions where the artist had clearly never seen a lion. https://www.sadanduseless.com/medieval-lion-art/ https://www.sadanduseless.com/medieval-lion-art/

defanor 2y ago
Sounds like a fun fact, but were those drawn by people who can draw cows and humans, and aim to draw realistically? Middle Ages were quite a dip in art generally, AFAICT, with humans often not looking realistic, either.
- hermitcrab 2y ago
  I guess it possible that these were just terrible artists, But it seems more likely that they just didn't know what a lion actually looked like. Afterall, if you were an English medieval monk, how likely were you to see an actual lion? They were no photos to go off. Check out this Cambodian lion: https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/a-guardian-lion-281362 https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/a-guardian-lion-281362 The craftsmanship is quite impressive. But it doesn't look anything much like a lion IMHO.
  - defanor 2y ago
    I guess that Cambodian lion is rather like the Chinese lions, which "are intended to reflect the emotion of the animal as opposed to the reality of the lion" [1], falling into the bucket with intentionally unrealistic (non-lifelike) art. [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_guardian_lions#Appearance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_guardian_lions#Appeara...
  - gilleain 2y ago
    There were a few English artists who might have had the opportunity of knowing what they looked like, given there were lions at the Tower of London: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_London "Records of 1210–1212 show payments to lion keepers" - although who was allowed to visit the lions is a different question ...

JoeAltmaier 2y ago

Not quite on point: the reason there are so many pictures of cows is not 'ubiquity'. There are many phone boxes in Britain, not so many paintings of them. The question is really, why are cows so relevant to paint? The answer is, the people who could afford to pay a painter were wealthy landowners, and their pride and joy was often purebred cattle. Each picture is some valuable animal, an advertisement if you will.

DonHopkins 2y ago

I'm taking a short break from grinding Factorio: Space Age, to mention that the timeless cult classic masterpiece Wagnerian Blade Runner of cargo hauling space operas "Space Truckers" (1996, Dennis Hopper), featured prescient square pigs, which packed tightly and efficiently into space trucks. Space Truckers - Title Scene (Square Pigs): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJtHMe3MltU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJtHMe3MltU "Square pig" prop from Space Truckers: https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv-memorabilia/-square-pig-prop-from-space-truckers/a/997059-1904.s https://entertainment.ha.com/itm/movie-tv-memorabilia/-squar... Square Hogs are pigs bred and farmed on Mars: https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Square_Hog https://aliens.fandom.com/wiki/Square_Hog >Square Hogs are merely pigs that have been genetically jacked up and overfed, confined in square cages making them extremely obese and fat. >The Earth company Inter Pork ship these animals across human space.

BlandDuck 2y ago

How does this posting coincide with the posting of this YouTube video. Coincidence? I think not! https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M https://m.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M

onychomys 2y ago
Alasdair posted this clip on bluesky, where I saw it. In the comments, Art UK had posted this article as a reply. Once I clicked through, I knew it would be exactly what HN would appreciate, and here we are.

mdp2021 2y ago

Incredible coincidence (new video): Alasdair Beckett-King, Cows are hard to draw (especially the corners) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2_wjUTT-M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s2_wjUTT-M (Extract from his stand-up comedy show) (In which we also learn about the improper shapes of sheep and pigs.) Edit: ok, reading the comments more accurately (I used not working keywords to check overlappings before posting), there is a link between the two: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42207572 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42207572

hermitcrab 2y ago

"Animals shouldn't have corners!" https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M https://www.youtube.com/shorts/8s2_wjUTT-M

chris_wot 2y ago

That wasn't a painting of a pair of pigs, that was a painting of oversized ticks after a human sized meal.

gideonparanoid 2y ago

The author of the post is wrong to say there's no famous cows, see the Craven Heifer [0] for example. [0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craven_Heifer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craven_Heifer

deleted 2y ago

[deleted]