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This issue is also tied into how we're praised as kids: http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2007/02/the_power_of_praise.html http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2007/02/th

by robg 18y ago

This issue is also tied into how we're praised as kids: http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2007/02/the_power_of_praise.html http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2007/02/the_power_of_praise.ht... You were probably told you were really smart and so you tended to believe it. Better to praise the results than make blanket statements about the kid.

sgibat 18y ago
Yes, exactly. As an adult, I realize how and why everything happened the way it did. But what I still don't understand is how to fix it. How do you radically change yourself, especially when the thing you're trying to change negatively affects your ability to do so?
scott_s 18y ago
I recommend reading the entire NY Magazine article they link to.
- gcheong 18y ago
  I recommend reading her book "Mindset" as well.
brandnewlow 18y ago
I thought of that New York Times piece, too. Yup. So then you wonder about your parents. Praising the innate intelligence of your kid is kind of like praising your own intelligence. You can't really pass on "hard work" or "effort."
- robg 18y ago
  I understand what you mean, but passing on "hard work" and "effort" would seem to pay greater dividends.
- gcheong 18y ago
  I think you can pass on a tendency to persist rather than give up though. Perhaps persistence and effort is more learnable than intelligence, but there does seem to be some hint that there is a genetic component to this trait. I am thinking of some experiments done with dogs where the dogs were shocked and they could escape the shock by jumping over a fairly short barrier. Some dogs persisted until they found the way out while others fairly readily just gave up, sat down and started whimpering despite the shocks.
gommm 18y ago
I remember this article now... was quite interesting. And yes as a kid I remember my parents complimenting me for being smart much more than they complimented me for my effort

by robg 18y ago

sgibat 18y ago

Yes, exactly. As an adult, I realize how and why everything happened the way it did. But what I still don't understand is how to fix it. How do you radically change yourself, especially when the thing you're trying to change negatively affects your ability to do so?

scott_s 18y ago

I recommend reading the entire NY Magazine article they link to.

gcheong 18y ago
I recommend reading her book "Mindset" as well.

brandnewlow 18y ago

I thought of that New York Times piece, too. Yup. So then you wonder about your parents. Praising the innate intelligence of your kid is kind of like praising your own intelligence. You can't really pass on "hard work" or "effort."

robg 18y ago
I understand what you mean, but passing on "hard work" and "effort" would seem to pay greater dividends.
gcheong 18y ago
I think you can pass on a tendency to persist rather than give up though. Perhaps persistence and effort is more learnable than intelligence, but there does seem to be some hint that there is a genetic component to this trait. I am thinking of some experiments done with dogs where the dogs were shocked and they could escape the shock by jumping over a fairly short barrier. Some dogs persisted until they found the way out while others fairly readily just gave up, sat down and started whimpering despite the shocks.

gommm 18y ago

I remember this article now... was quite interesting. And yes as a kid I remember my parents complimenting me for being smart much more than they complimented me for my effort