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> If you are a girl from the north-east, India's capital is not a friendly place. Barring north-east, there aren't many places safe for north-eastern folks. At

by irahul 14y ago

> If you are a girl from the north-east, India's capital is not a friendly place. Barring north-east, there aren't many places safe for north-eastern folks. At best, they deal with implicit and explicit harassment; at worse, violence and molestation. And though the girls do have it worse, the guys don't have it much better either. > On the other hand visit Chennai, Mumbai, Pune (by no means an exhaustive list) nobody will give it a second thought if an unattended girl has to travel in the wee hours of the night, even if wearing a mini fortune in jewelery. I can vouch for Chennai giving second, third, and 1000th thought if a girl happens to travel after 10, let alone wee hours(jewelry irrelevant most of the times). > In the south, (barring Karnataka) that is certainly not the norm. What cities and what bribes are we talking about? I am personally guilty of bribing the traffic police, passport verification constable and TTE(train ticket examiner) in Chennai. I have friends who have bribed for driving pitch black drunk(I don't drive drunk and don't endorse it).

srean 14y ago
The question is not whether you bribed or not but whether you absolutely had to. In certain parts of India, even if you are a law abiding citizen it is hard to live without giving bribes, in some others, if you stay within the law you are not messed with. Having stayed in Chennai and beyond, I can vouch that it can get a lot worse than Chennai. A lot. > Barring north-east, there aren't many places safe If you are talking physical safety here that is patently false. Yes its never quite as comfortable as home. You would be stared at, but there are many parts in India where no one will grope you in broad daylight in public and not a sneaky surreptitious "feel". Small mercies. Delhi is not that place.
- irahul 14y ago
  > Having stayed in Chennai and beyond, I can vouch that it can get a lot worse than Chennai. Yes, it does get worse than Chennai. Bullock cart might be the fastest vehicle in your village, but that isn't a compliment for the cart or the village. I don't see how Chennai, the fastest bullock cart in India, is supposed to be cheered. I can't comment about 'you absolutely had to' scenarios. I was never in one, in Chennai or elsewhere. > If you are talking physical safety here that is patently false. Yes its never quite as comfortable as home. I said "at best, they are implicitly and explicitly harassed; at worse, they are subjected to violence and molestation." Physical safety isn't the only thing that matters, and not quite comfortable as home isn't the same as being harassed and discriminated. I find most of India xenophobic to varying degree. I found Chennai orthodox and xenophobic(frequently subjected to this is not tamil nadu culture and you north indians don't understand). I will be more comfortable in Delhi, not because Delhi is any better, but just because I will blend - someone who is visibly different will have a different experience. I find Kolkata the most tolerant city among the places I have been to - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time.
  - srean 14y ago
    > I find Kolkata the most tolerant city among the places I have been to - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time. - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time. Hasnt seen much development either, this comes from a Kolkatan here. On the other hand things are affordable, most people use public transport if they are traveling say less than 10 km. But its a bit strange 'cause for me that place has been Chennai. Culturally conservative yes, (same is true for Kolkata more or less) but not in an imposing way. It is more of the you dont bother me I wont bother you variety, atleast in my experience. It is not a terribly interesting place, but definitely liveable and you are likely to find a job in the city. The funny part is that contrary to what many hindi speakers believe, they do not speak hindi, not out of malice, but because they are genuinely afraid that they will be made fun of. The autowallahs are mostly swindlers let lose though. In most parts people add a fudge to the fare, here, they multiply ! > and not quite comfortable as home isn't the same as being harassed and discriminated. That was a deliberate understatement. Having spent a part of my life in the nort-east and having received such warmth and affection there, it really makes me mad when "mainstream" India treats them bad. And Delhi for some reason I have found to be particularly bad. Not sure why. @irahul: Indeed I misunderstood. I am either getting slow or its getting late. probably both. Even in Delhi an autowallah will add say 10% to the fare if they sense you are not from around here. No big deal hapens in many places. But, Jesus! in Chennai they multiply by factors of [1 - 3] somtimes \infty (thats when they straight refuse) or worse drop you off at a wrong place and refuse to go further. > People often try to shove their culture down your throats, and feel smug while doing so. Heh! I thought that was a distinctly Kolkata trait.
    - irahul 14y ago
      > Was referring to urban ills rather than antiquated modes of transportation. I don't know if you are being sarcastic, or you are misinterpreting what I said. >> Yes, it does get worse than Chennai. Bullock cart might be the fastest vehicle in your village, but that isn't a compliment for the cart or the village. I don't see how Chennai, the fastest bullock cart in India, is supposed to be cheered. You commented it gets worse than Chennai. I said "bullock carts are fastest vehicle in your village doesn't mean anything." Irrespective of their status in your village, bullock carts are still damn slow, and a shitty mode of transportation. Chennai, though it might be better than other cities in India in terms of bribes to be paid, is still the fastest bullock cart at best. It might be slightly faster than other bullock carts, but that isn't something which deserves celebrations. > Culturally conservative yes, (same is true for Kolkata more or less) but not in an imposing way. It is more of the you dont bother me I wont bother you variety, atleast in my experience. My Chennai experience has been different. People often try to shove their culture down your throats, and feel smug while doing so. > The funny part is that contrary to what many hindi speakers believe, they do not speak hindi, not out of malice, but they are genuinely afraid that they will be made fun of. That would be least of my concerns. If people speak Hindi or English(the only two languages I speak), superb. If they don't and I am there for long term, I would try and pick up the local language. No one sane will hold a grudge against someone for not speaking Hindi. > The autowallahs are mostly swindlers let lose though. Auto drivers in most parts of India are full of malice. I understand they are living shitty lives on small incomes, but that doesn't entitle you to unfairly charge me. I don't know why, but the auto drivers in Chennai are the worst. May be it has to do with the fact that I didn't speak local language.

by irahul 14y ago

srean 14y ago

The question is not whether you bribed or not but whether you absolutely had to. In certain parts of India, even if you are a law abiding citizen it is hard to live without giving bribes, in some others, if you stay within the law you are not messed with. Having stayed in Chennai and beyond, I can vouch that it can get a lot worse than Chennai. A lot. > Barring north-east, there aren't many places safe If you are talking physical safety here that is patently false. Yes its never quite as comfortable as home. You would be stared at, but there are many parts in India where no one will grope you in broad daylight in public and not a sneaky surreptitious "feel". Small mercies. Delhi is not that place.

irahul 14y ago
> Having stayed in Chennai and beyond, I can vouch that it can get a lot worse than Chennai. Yes, it does get worse than Chennai. Bullock cart might be the fastest vehicle in your village, but that isn't a compliment for the cart or the village. I don't see how Chennai, the fastest bullock cart in India, is supposed to be cheered. I can't comment about 'you absolutely had to' scenarios. I was never in one, in Chennai or elsewhere. > If you are talking physical safety here that is patently false. Yes its never quite as comfortable as home. I said "at best, they are implicitly and explicitly harassed; at worse, they are subjected to violence and molestation." Physical safety isn't the only thing that matters, and not quite comfortable as home isn't the same as being harassed and discriminated. I find most of India xenophobic to varying degree. I found Chennai orthodox and xenophobic(frequently subjected to this is not tamil nadu culture and you north indians don't understand). I will be more comfortable in Delhi, not because Delhi is any better, but just because I will blend - someone who is visibly different will have a different experience. I find Kolkata the most tolerant city among the places I have been to - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time.
- srean 14y ago
  > I find Kolkata the most tolerant city among the places I have been to - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time. - it hasn't seen any major racial or religious incident in long, long time. Hasnt seen much development either, this comes from a Kolkatan here. On the other hand things are affordable, most people use public transport if they are traveling say less than 10 km. But its a bit strange 'cause for me that place has been Chennai. Culturally conservative yes, (same is true for Kolkata more or less) but not in an imposing way. It is more of the you dont bother me I wont bother you variety, atleast in my experience. It is not a terribly interesting place, but definitely liveable and you are likely to find a job in the city. The funny part is that contrary to what many hindi speakers believe, they do not speak hindi, not out of malice, but because they are genuinely afraid that they will be made fun of. The autowallahs are mostly swindlers let lose though. In most parts people add a fudge to the fare, here, they multiply ! > and not quite comfortable as home isn't the same as being harassed and discriminated. That was a deliberate understatement. Having spent a part of my life in the nort-east and having received such warmth and affection there, it really makes me mad when "mainstream" India treats them bad. And Delhi for some reason I have found to be particularly bad. Not sure why. @irahul: Indeed I misunderstood. I am either getting slow or its getting late. probably both. Even in Delhi an autowallah will add say 10% to the fare if they sense you are not from around here. No big deal hapens in many places. But, Jesus! in Chennai they multiply by factors of [1 - 3] somtimes \infty (thats when they straight refuse) or worse drop you off at a wrong place and refuse to go further. > People often try to shove their culture down your throats, and feel smug while doing so. Heh! I thought that was a distinctly Kolkata trait.
  - irahul 14y ago
    > Was referring to urban ills rather than antiquated modes of transportation. I don't know if you are being sarcastic, or you are misinterpreting what I said. >> Yes, it does get worse than Chennai. Bullock cart might be the fastest vehicle in your village, but that isn't a compliment for the cart or the village. I don't see how Chennai, the fastest bullock cart in India, is supposed to be cheered. You commented it gets worse than Chennai. I said "bullock carts are fastest vehicle in your village doesn't mean anything." Irrespective of their status in your village, bullock carts are still damn slow, and a shitty mode of transportation. Chennai, though it might be better than other cities in India in terms of bribes to be paid, is still the fastest bullock cart at best. It might be slightly faster than other bullock carts, but that isn't something which deserves celebrations. > Culturally conservative yes, (same is true for Kolkata more or less) but not in an imposing way. It is more of the you dont bother me I wont bother you variety, atleast in my experience. My Chennai experience has been different. People often try to shove their culture down your throats, and feel smug while doing so. > The funny part is that contrary to what many hindi speakers believe, they do not speak hindi, not out of malice, but they are genuinely afraid that they will be made fun of. That would be least of my concerns. If people speak Hindi or English(the only two languages I speak), superb. If they don't and I am there for long term, I would try and pick up the local language. No one sane will hold a grudge against someone for not speaking Hindi. > The autowallahs are mostly swindlers let lose though. Auto drivers in most parts of India are full of malice. I understand they are living shitty lives on small incomes, but that doesn't entitle you to unfairly charge me. I don't know why, but the auto drivers in Chennai are the worst. May be it has to do with the fact that I didn't speak local language.